in the spirit of being economical, my friend and i decided to have a "cheap night". it was wonderful...and then it backfired.
and so, i present, you know you are in no shape to take the train home by yourself when:
a. you are entirely too preoccupied with the rats running around the subway. (note: your ipod may be broken, your cell phone out-of-service at the station, and the book you're reading contains print entirely too small to see after ___ glasses of wine - so really, you have no other choice. right.)
b. you put on your glasses, so you can more closely see the subway rats.
c. when a rat climbs up a on a rail (aside: what's up with the 3rd rail? how is it electrified and "dangerous" when birds and rodents alight on it constantly?) and gets a little higher than the rest of the rats, you actually hope, no really, you hope, that he hops on the platform and runs near you so you can pet him. (note: this may perhaps signify that you are still, 7 months later, not over the death of your first pet cat, tigger, and need a furry little presence in your life. pronto.)
d. upon waiting 25 minutes and having to let two R trains pass you by - and cursing yourself that you used to live off the R train, but now insisted on moving closer to astoria's other train, the "more convenient N" - you finally step on to an N train, and you discover its heading downtown. in the complete opposite direction of your home.
and so, you find yourself climbing the subway stairs to the street to hail a cab, 40 minutes later and 1 stop further into manhattan than you started, and you realize why you spend a good 30% of your salary taking taxis home. its simply so that you make it to your 28th birthday.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
dumbstruck.
things i've learned this weekend:
- missy and i can walk a dog.
- i know every single word to tears for fears "everybody wants to rule the world".
- that if a glass pepper shaker breaks due to banging it repeatedly on a tabletop, the pepper will remain in a neat conical formation on the table while the glass shards fly all about.
- because i said so is the absolute worst movie ever made. holy cow.
- missy and i can walk a dog.
- i know every single word to tears for fears "everybody wants to rule the world".
- that if a glass pepper shaker breaks due to banging it repeatedly on a tabletop, the pepper will remain in a neat conical formation on the table while the glass shards fly all about.
- because i said so is the absolute worst movie ever made. holy cow.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
in waffles we trust.
since we're all in a waffletastic mood after yesterday's post, i figured i'd continue the thread. so here are some awesome factoids* about all things battered and griddled:
mark your calendars, kiddies!
International Waffle Day (March 25) -
originated in Sweden where it is called Våffeldagen. It occurs nine months to the day before Christmas - the day the Archangel Gabriel told the Virgin Mary that she was pregnant. (ed. note: really?! so waffles are some how connected to Jesus' birth? huh, i might have to stop considering myself a lapsed catholic...)
As the holiday progressed, it also began to commemorate the first day of spring. Waffles come into play because on March 25th the women of Sweden would set aside their winter tasks like chopping wood and knitting, and began their spring tasks... the most notable of which was preparing waffles.
National Waffle Day (August 24) -
is the anniversary of the first U.S. patent for a waffle iron. Cornelius Swarthout of Troy, New York received his patent for a "device to bake waffles" in 1869. His early waffle iron was used in conjunction with coal stoves, consisted of a griddle and a cover and required flipping of the device to cook both sides of the waffle. At present, National Waffle Day is at best a "bizarre" or "unique" holiday" - the fluff stuff of radio DJ commentary. Waffle promotions at some restaurant chains have helped to keep the holiday alive, if only barely. (ed. note: not anymore! loveandcyanide has found its champion cause - keep national waffle day alive)
13th Century A.C. - Ancient Greeks cook flat cakes between two metal plates. These early waffles were called obleios and were primarily savory in nature, prepared with cheeses and herbs.
1620 - The pilgrims bring Dutch "wafles" to America.
1735 - The word "waffle" - with two "f"s - appears in English print for the first time.
Late 1800's - Thomas Jefferson returns to the U.S. from France with a long handled, patterned waffle iron. (ed. note: oh tommy, is there anything you couldn't do??)
1869 - Cornelius Swarthout patents the first U.S. Waffle Iron.
1953 - Frank Dorsa's Eggo Frozen Waffles are sold in Supermarkets for the first time.
1964-65 - Brussels restaurateur Maurice Vermersch brings his wife's Brussels Waffle recipe to the World's Fair in New York. The fluffy yeast-infused waffle becomes a huge hit and becomes known as the Belgium waffle.
*factoids courtesy of mrbreakfast.com - quite possibly my new favorite website.
mark your calendars, kiddies!
International Waffle Day (March 25) -
originated in Sweden where it is called Våffeldagen. It occurs nine months to the day before Christmas - the day the Archangel Gabriel told the Virgin Mary that she was pregnant. (ed. note: really?! so waffles are some how connected to Jesus' birth? huh, i might have to stop considering myself a lapsed catholic...)
As the holiday progressed, it also began to commemorate the first day of spring. Waffles come into play because on March 25th the women of Sweden would set aside their winter tasks like chopping wood and knitting, and began their spring tasks... the most notable of which was preparing waffles.
National Waffle Day (August 24) -
is the anniversary of the first U.S. patent for a waffle iron. Cornelius Swarthout of Troy, New York received his patent for a "device to bake waffles" in 1869. His early waffle iron was used in conjunction with coal stoves, consisted of a griddle and a cover and required flipping of the device to cook both sides of the waffle. At present, National Waffle Day is at best a "bizarre" or "unique" holiday" - the fluff stuff of radio DJ commentary. Waffle promotions at some restaurant chains have helped to keep the holiday alive, if only barely. (ed. note: not anymore! loveandcyanide has found its champion cause - keep national waffle day alive)
The History of the Waffle
13th Century A.C. - Ancient Greeks cook flat cakes between two metal plates. These early waffles were called obleios and were primarily savory in nature, prepared with cheeses and herbs.
1620 - The pilgrims bring Dutch "wafles" to America.
1735 - The word "waffle" - with two "f"s - appears in English print for the first time.
Late 1800's - Thomas Jefferson returns to the U.S. from France with a long handled, patterned waffle iron. (ed. note: oh tommy, is there anything you couldn't do??)
1869 - Cornelius Swarthout patents the first U.S. Waffle Iron.
1953 - Frank Dorsa's Eggo Frozen Waffles are sold in Supermarkets for the first time.
1964-65 - Brussels restaurateur Maurice Vermersch brings his wife's Brussels Waffle recipe to the World's Fair in New York. The fluffy yeast-infused waffle becomes a huge hit and becomes known as the Belgium waffle.
*factoids courtesy of mrbreakfast.com - quite possibly my new favorite website.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
oh, hello!
it was brought to my attention today that a belgian waffle (spelled the authentic way of "wafel", but as i'm only a stupid american, i can continue to spell it the waffle house way) truck is making its way around nyc. excitement!
mmm.
i do apologize that this little PSA only affects the 1/4 of our readers who are located here in the city, but i wanted to make sure that the both of you were aware of this little yellow waffle-scented gem making its way around our streets. and honestly, if i ran the world, there would be waffle trucks in every city. one for every single one of the earth's inhabitants, even.
mmm.
i do apologize that this little PSA only affects the 1/4 of our readers who are located here in the city, but i wanted to make sure that the both of you were aware of this little yellow waffle-scented gem making its way around our streets. and honestly, if i ran the world, there would be waffle trucks in every city. one for every single one of the earth's inhabitants, even.
Monday, November 05, 2007
my own brand of quality-assurance testing.
having been harassed and harassed and harassed by gigantic, noisy, gross and utterly distracting flies throughout the past few months in my office, i say with great pride that i finally got my chance at revenge today.
after a good hour or so of pestering me, the little beast du jour was taking a breather from his cacophonous flight and had perched behind me on my cork board. while typically paralyzed with fear in such a moment, today i miraculously managed to spring into action. i grabbed the largest manuscript i could find - no offense to the author, but this will actually be the greatest feat that that piece of work will ever achieve - and walloped the little pest so forcefully that pushpins went flying and the whole bulletin board almost came down. i daresay the fly blood stain will remain on my office wall for a very long time.
i spent the remainder of the afternoon with a smug little grin on my face, filled with a ridiculous amount of satisfaction. which made me wonder - if killing bugs can fill me with such a larger sense of pride than writing a press release does, should i just become an exterminator?
-----------------
and on a side note after discussing destruction, i'd just like to give a shout out to ralph lauren, for making extremely high quality eyeglasses. i full-out sat on my glasses for about the thirtieth time this morning - it really baffles me how out of every square inch of my bed my bottom consistently finds the one little patch where my glasses are laying - and nary a crack in them. and i can't count the times i've let them spend an entire day banging around in my purse without their case or knocked them off my dresser or threw something (like my cell phone, from, um, across the room) that happened to land smack on top of them and thought to myself "oh crap. that's it"...but no, they are still going strong. this is indestructible eyewear, people. i won't try dropping them from my fifth floor apartment window until i have a new pair in my possession, but i think that's what it's coming to.
after a good hour or so of pestering me, the little beast du jour was taking a breather from his cacophonous flight and had perched behind me on my cork board. while typically paralyzed with fear in such a moment, today i miraculously managed to spring into action. i grabbed the largest manuscript i could find - no offense to the author, but this will actually be the greatest feat that that piece of work will ever achieve - and walloped the little pest so forcefully that pushpins went flying and the whole bulletin board almost came down. i daresay the fly blood stain will remain on my office wall for a very long time.
i spent the remainder of the afternoon with a smug little grin on my face, filled with a ridiculous amount of satisfaction. which made me wonder - if killing bugs can fill me with such a larger sense of pride than writing a press release does, should i just become an exterminator?
-----------------
and on a side note after discussing destruction, i'd just like to give a shout out to ralph lauren, for making extremely high quality eyeglasses. i full-out sat on my glasses for about the thirtieth time this morning - it really baffles me how out of every square inch of my bed my bottom consistently finds the one little patch where my glasses are laying - and nary a crack in them. and i can't count the times i've let them spend an entire day banging around in my purse without their case or knocked them off my dresser or threw something (like my cell phone, from, um, across the room) that happened to land smack on top of them and thought to myself "oh crap. that's it"...but no, they are still going strong. this is indestructible eyewear, people. i won't try dropping them from my fifth floor apartment window until i have a new pair in my possession, but i think that's what it's coming to.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
i'm on all the wrong mailing lists.
when the hell did wendy's start a breakfast menu?! upon entering, i was greeted with a poster for the breakfast frescuit (literally, after pondering the origins of the word frescuit for the past half hour i just realized right this second when typing that is a hybrid of "fresh biscuit". which means its either absurdly clever, or i'm having an even slower day than i had thought...) and thought to myself "oh hey, cute, they are testing out something new." then at the counter i spied an entire breakfast menu! breakfast burritos, french toast sticks, the works! how did i miss this? the body shop clogs my inbox with paraphernalia every week when i only shop there during my twice yearly stock ups on vats of mango body butter, meanwhile i've yet to be informed of this major major development in the home of my hangover cure. sheesh.
--------
a random dispatch from the halloween party i attended last night - i've never been one for couples' costumes**, but i understand that there are girls (and boys) who are all into that, and so i accept that sometimes a man has just gotta dress silly to please his little lady and vice versa (and we do appreciate that). HOWEVER, i will never respect a man who dresses as mickey mouse, being pulled around by his minnie. never ever ever.
**exception: there is a bacon + egg set floating around that i would totally be a part of - of course i'd have to rock the bacon tunic - and i guess it would be preferable if a third party could dress as a frying pan and follow us around. but that's it.
--------
a random dispatch from the halloween party i attended last night - i've never been one for couples' costumes**, but i understand that there are girls (and boys) who are all into that, and so i accept that sometimes a man has just gotta dress silly to please his little lady and vice versa (and we do appreciate that). HOWEVER, i will never respect a man who dresses as mickey mouse, being pulled around by his minnie. never ever ever.
**exception: there is a bacon + egg set floating around that i would totally be a part of - of course i'd have to rock the bacon tunic - and i guess it would be preferable if a third party could dress as a frying pan and follow us around. but that's it.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
holiday greetings.
since we can't offer you guys candy corn, a little homemade cyber-greeting will have to suffice! happy halloween - only eat the wrapped candies, and if trick-or-treating on staten island, please don't dress as a ninja.
note: while it looks like this scene was painstakingly set up for this meager little greeting card, don't worry - it wasn't. only the vegetables were added in for holiday spirit. the bears, their weapons, the skeletal remains and the scary tree all reside on our 'toy shelf' in our living room year round. although during the christmas season we do throw holiday baubles on the shelf to make it a tad less macabre.
Monday, October 29, 2007
back in the new york groove.
i have always been jealous of those people who don't eat when they're depressed. dieting? no, i just lost my cat. working out? me? never! but my fiancée did just leave me at the altar. these people amaze me. there is a definite difference between those who handle a tragedy with tight lipped poise and the rest of the world. i am, predictably, of the wallowing in self-pity with a bottle of kettle and a fistful of dark chocolate variety. ..and bread! and goat cheese! and put some butter on all of that and fry it, per favore.
this is neither here nor there, nor has high seas adventures been traded for self-help empowering women speeches of the oprahnian variety (never, we promise). this is just my little explanation of where i have been.
irregardless of the rumours posted here, missy has not been kidnapped by pirates, rendered computer illiterate by an unfortunate pedicab accident or tied to a chair by bear for the past year (but he HAS been hoarding a worrying amount of rope and twine). i have however noticed a pattern within myself. similar to my tendency to eat when sad, i also tend to create more. not to say that all posts on this blog have been a result of misery and sorrow, that is not the case at all. however in the past year i've settled into a pattern of work, a 9to5 routine which prior to 2007 was just the stuff nightmares and sissy's doldrum dinner stories were made of. but yes, here i am, a member of the corporate ranks --and it's not all glitter and hats like the village people made it seem.
in addition to my real life portrayal of the office (the british version, i'm sorry steve carell, you are a man of ben stiller-worthy repulsion) i have also had my first foray into the grown up world of monogamy. contrary to popular belief, i have not always considered monogamy to be a dirty word. rather, for a while, i just denied its existence. monogamy? isn't that a wood commonly used in furniture of the reddish-tinted variety?
but now here i am, a year into normalcy and it seems i've already obtained my membership to the stepford social club. not that i don't love and respect what i'm doing. and not that my life of anger and vodka and comedy was bad either. but why can't i have the puppies and the rainbows with a dirty martini straight up and some flippant remarks at the girl in the pink uggs (ed. note - really, still??) i'd like the house with the white picket fence, within which i can roll around in paint and hurl insults of Gangy-proportion at neighbors and blogosphere celebutantes alike.
i'm not really sure when i lost my edge, or if i just happened to fall over one, but i'm committed to righting that wrong. after all, no one likes a pants not paint.
xom
this is neither here nor there, nor has high seas adventures been traded for self-help empowering women speeches of the oprahnian variety (never, we promise). this is just my little explanation of where i have been.
irregardless of the rumours posted here, missy has not been kidnapped by pirates, rendered computer illiterate by an unfortunate pedicab accident or tied to a chair by bear for the past year (but he HAS been hoarding a worrying amount of rope and twine). i have however noticed a pattern within myself. similar to my tendency to eat when sad, i also tend to create more. not to say that all posts on this blog have been a result of misery and sorrow, that is not the case at all. however in the past year i've settled into a pattern of work, a 9to5 routine which prior to 2007 was just the stuff nightmares and sissy's doldrum dinner stories were made of. but yes, here i am, a member of the corporate ranks --and it's not all glitter and hats like the village people made it seem.
in addition to my real life portrayal of the office (the british version, i'm sorry steve carell, you are a man of ben stiller-worthy repulsion) i have also had my first foray into the grown up world of monogamy. contrary to popular belief, i have not always considered monogamy to be a dirty word. rather, for a while, i just denied its existence. monogamy? isn't that a wood commonly used in furniture of the reddish-tinted variety?
but now here i am, a year into normalcy and it seems i've already obtained my membership to the stepford social club. not that i don't love and respect what i'm doing. and not that my life of anger and vodka and comedy was bad either. but why can't i have the puppies and the rainbows with a dirty martini straight up and some flippant remarks at the girl in the pink uggs (ed. note - really, still??) i'd like the house with the white picket fence, within which i can roll around in paint and hurl insults of Gangy-proportion at neighbors and blogosphere celebutantes alike.
i'm not really sure when i lost my edge, or if i just happened to fall over one, but i'm committed to righting that wrong. after all, no one likes a pants not paint.
xom
looking back...
i know this seems like it's just the lazy girl's method of posting, akin to me just plopping a video on a site to entertain your guys instead of using my brain to actually create new content, but i'm really just doing this to honor an amazing coincidence: in randomly clicking on my october 2006 link just before, the first item i spied was the post from October 29th, and, whoa, today is october 29th. so i just had to re-post what was happening last year at this time...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
you know.
you know you've become a nuisance to your coworkers when...
- your receptionist hands you a book on illnesses. tells you to "keep it for as long as you need it". slipped inside the book is a photocopied page of the index, with "cough - pgs. 25, 26,27,28" circled and starred.
you know you're a poor keeper of your own well-being when...
- trying to pay for items in CVS, the cashier cannot ring up the eye liner because there is no bar code. he asks you to get a new one. upon bringing him the new liner, which has a wrapper/bar code on it, the cashier scans the code while commenting "you know, you probably shouldn't buy makeup that isn't sealed. that's not really safe."
you know you've had a rough night when...
- you somehow convince yourself and the random boy buying you drinks that the bar is closing too early for new york city standards as its only 2am, when in all actuality its almost 4am and you were given an extra hour at the bar as daylight savings time ended sometime during your booze-a-thon.
and
- you also convince yourself during the cab ride home that the driver is incompetent and taking you and your friends in the wrong direction home. upon politely yet insistently shouting through the partition "excuse me sir, where are we going? we're supposed to be going downtown, and you're going uptown.", the driver points out that the street numbers are in fact going down, and inquires if you are ok.
but, you know deep down you're a good person which compensates for the rest of your nonsense when...
- you stop your car (and following traffic) in the middle of the street for a good minute or so, to allow a man to chase around the yarmulke that the wind has blown off his head.
and my, how times have changed! a new font, daylight savings time has yet to end, i stopped wearing eye liner, i don't let strange boys buy me alcohol, i pass out in cabs instead of trying to correct/confuse the driver, and i only cough in the evenings.
such progress. i can only imagine the amazing feats i will have accomplished by october 29, 2008.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
you know.
you know you've become a nuisance to your coworkers when...
- your receptionist hands you a book on illnesses. tells you to "keep it for as long as you need it". slipped inside the book is a photocopied page of the index, with "cough - pgs. 25, 26,27,28" circled and starred.
you know you're a poor keeper of your own well-being when...
- trying to pay for items in CVS, the cashier cannot ring up the eye liner because there is no bar code. he asks you to get a new one. upon bringing him the new liner, which has a wrapper/bar code on it, the cashier scans the code while commenting "you know, you probably shouldn't buy makeup that isn't sealed. that's not really safe."
you know you've had a rough night when...
- you somehow convince yourself and the random boy buying you drinks that the bar is closing too early for new york city standards as its only 2am, when in all actuality its almost 4am and you were given an extra hour at the bar as daylight savings time ended sometime during your booze-a-thon.
and
- you also convince yourself during the cab ride home that the driver is incompetent and taking you and your friends in the wrong direction home. upon politely yet insistently shouting through the partition "excuse me sir, where are we going? we're supposed to be going downtown, and you're going uptown.", the driver points out that the street numbers are in fact going down, and inquires if you are ok.
but, you know deep down you're a good person which compensates for the rest of your nonsense when...
- you stop your car (and following traffic) in the middle of the street for a good minute or so, to allow a man to chase around the yarmulke that the wind has blown off his head.
and my, how times have changed! a new font, daylight savings time has yet to end, i stopped wearing eye liner, i don't let strange boys buy me alcohol, i pass out in cabs instead of trying to correct/confuse the driver, and i only cough in the evenings.
such progress. i can only imagine the amazing feats i will have accomplished by october 29, 2008.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
why was the russian serial killer spending his trial in a glass cage, and other thursday questions...
seriously, why? that was the one part of the news story i couldn't get over. "In a glass cage to one side of the courtroom..." - like hannibal lecter? was this because he killed more than 40 people, or just generally how the russian court system works?
why do people point with their umbrellas? i almost lost an earring this morning - and i don't wear large earrings - as i passed by a man who decided to point the way downtown with his humongous golf umbrella. wasn't his finger enough?
how long do we think valentine candy can last? i came upon a laffy taffy from february in my desk drawer earlier, and am wondering if its still edible. as i'm in desperate need of sugar to lift me out of an afternoon slump, i'm thinking i will winding up consuming the candy before getting an answer.
and for goodness sakes, is this really necessary?!
dogs everywhere should revolt.
why do people point with their umbrellas? i almost lost an earring this morning - and i don't wear large earrings - as i passed by a man who decided to point the way downtown with his humongous golf umbrella. wasn't his finger enough?
how long do we think valentine candy can last? i came upon a laffy taffy from february in my desk drawer earlier, and am wondering if its still edible. as i'm in desperate need of sugar to lift me out of an afternoon slump, i'm thinking i will winding up consuming the candy before getting an answer.
and for goodness sakes, is this really necessary?!
dogs everywhere should revolt.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
and my parents think i never listen to them...
if there is one thing i can count on just about every night of the week, its a phone call from my dad. generally he'll just call to say hello to his "dudes" - why a few years ago he started calling me "big dude" and missy "little dude" we will never understand - ask us what we're up to, how we're feeling, and make some small talk until one of us gets bored and rushes him off the phone or passes him off to the other one.
one of his favorite small talk topics is the news - typically a local SI story (he's a great source for ninja burglar updates) or a tale of something tragic that happened to a young woman, that way he can throw in a lesson or two about why i shouldn't get into cabs drunk or take the train alone past 9pm. i tend to tune him out during these preachy stories.
but the other night when he launched into the "did you see in the daily news..." portion of the phone conversation, he brought to my attention such a fascinating story that not only did i listen the entire time but i even found the article so i could read all about it myself.
and so we can all thank my dear old dad for this week's history lesson.
the durable mike malloy
one of his favorite small talk topics is the news - typically a local SI story (he's a great source for ninja burglar updates) or a tale of something tragic that happened to a young woman, that way he can throw in a lesson or two about why i shouldn't get into cabs drunk or take the train alone past 9pm. i tend to tune him out during these preachy stories.
but the other night when he launched into the "did you see in the daily news..." portion of the phone conversation, he brought to my attention such a fascinating story that not only did i listen the entire time but i even found the article so i could read all about it myself.
and so we can all thank my dear old dad for this week's history lesson.
the durable mike malloy
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
making important discoveries for the tobacco industry.
if you eat a peanut butter cookie shortly after having a Halls cough drop ('ice blue' mint, i believe) it tastes like you've just smoked a cigarette.
which is both fascinating and a bit of a letdown, since generally i have a drink in hand when experiencing such a taste.
which is both fascinating and a bit of a letdown, since generally i have a drink in hand when experiencing such a taste.
Friday, October 12, 2007
friday roundup: bitterness, literature, and pickup artists.
having just been condescended to in an email that went to our entire company by a dick (excuse me. but sometimes there are just no other words for a person.) manager who consistently condescends to everyone for absolutely no reason - he also spells 'cool' with a 'k', which should tell you something - i've decided i am exempt from doing work for the remainder of the day.
so here i am again. with so much to catch up on i figured it would be a good time for another installment of the good, the bad, and the ugly to sum it all up.
the good...
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao - i know, everyone is heaping praise on this book - for goodness sakes, i even saw it in gourmet magazine - but i'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. i started reading it this week and it is damn good.
fall is finally here! - at least for today it is. how i've missed my jackets.
The Darjeeling Limited - i wasn't sure what to expect since although i really have enjoyed wes anderson's movies in the past, the most recent ones have gotten a bit too precious. but darjeeling had a lot more soul than i expected it to.
Showtime - currently responsible for about 85% of all the television we're watching.
the bad...
my computer
missy's computer
my foot
the internet situation in our apartment
the disk drive on my work computer
missy's brand new boots
the recording capability of our cable box
you know how sometimes everything breaks all at once? yup, we're in that cycle...
the ugly...
The Game:Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists - it wasn't so much that the book was ugly (although it was, bound in imitation leather to resemble a bible, making it impossible for me to covertly read it in public!) or that the content was ugly, but i just felt so incredibly sad after finishing it. not like i read the book with the goal of becoming a "master pickup artist", or that i thought i'd be able to relate to it, but i also never expected it to reveal to me such a dishearteningly scary/pathetic side to the male psyche. not all of you are like the guys featured in this book, i know, but enough of you to keep the book in the top 100 on amazon more than two years after it came out.
eek.
so here i am again. with so much to catch up on i figured it would be a good time for another installment of the good, the bad, and the ugly to sum it all up.
the good...
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao - i know, everyone is heaping praise on this book - for goodness sakes, i even saw it in gourmet magazine - but i'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. i started reading it this week and it is damn good.
fall is finally here! - at least for today it is. how i've missed my jackets.
The Darjeeling Limited - i wasn't sure what to expect since although i really have enjoyed wes anderson's movies in the past, the most recent ones have gotten a bit too precious. but darjeeling had a lot more soul than i expected it to.
Showtime - currently responsible for about 85% of all the television we're watching.
the bad...
my computer
missy's computer
my foot
the internet situation in our apartment
the disk drive on my work computer
missy's brand new boots
the recording capability of our cable box
you know how sometimes everything breaks all at once? yup, we're in that cycle...
the ugly...
The Game:Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists - it wasn't so much that the book was ugly (although it was, bound in imitation leather to resemble a bible, making it impossible for me to covertly read it in public!) or that the content was ugly, but i just felt so incredibly sad after finishing it. not like i read the book with the goal of becoming a "master pickup artist", or that i thought i'd be able to relate to it, but i also never expected it to reveal to me such a dishearteningly scary/pathetic side to the male psyche. not all of you are like the guys featured in this book, i know, but enough of you to keep the book in the top 100 on amazon more than two years after it came out.
eek.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
a puppet-filled, tofu-less bicentennial celebration...
its pouring out, i'm limping*, and i'm starving** so i decided to not post the snarky cranky post i've been working on for the past week (week!) and write about something a little more uplifting.
(plus, i just realized i had let my 200th entry slip by, and therefore needed a most upbeat topic to commemorate such a momentous occasion. its our bicentennial! and at the rate i'm currently posting, i won't hit our next one until about 2012.)
so, i saw this recently - yes, die hard. as a musical. done with puppets! - and i highly suggest that everyone run out and see it whenever (if ever) it makes it to a theater near you. it was awesome, and i've never even seen die hard*** so i probably even missed out on some of the jokes/plot line.
but you'll love it - i promise.
***yea, yea, i know. but it came out in '88 and i was still totally in muppet family christmas mode back then since our mother had a more intense ratings system than the MPAA. but i did eventually see the third one, at least.
(plus, i just realized i had let my 200th entry slip by, and therefore needed a most upbeat topic to commemorate such a momentous occasion. its our bicentennial! and at the rate i'm currently posting, i won't hit our next one until about 2012.)
so, i saw this recently - yes, die hard. as a musical. done with puppets! - and i highly suggest that everyone run out and see it whenever (if ever) it makes it to a theater near you. it was awesome, and i've never even seen die hard*** so i probably even missed out on some of the jokes/plot line.
but you'll love it - i promise.
*somewhere between the gym and a trip to staples last night, i managed to severely injure my foot. well, maybe not severely. but i couldn't walk on it last night and couldn't wear proper shoes today as it was still swollen. i have a sneaking suspicion that an overzealous treadmill workout is the cause, although i truly hate to think that my first day in a while of an actual intense work out put me in such a sad predicament.
**i couldn't eat most of my lunch as my healthy little organic corn + black bean mexican bowl also housed a hidden mass of tofu. (i hate, HATE, tofu!!! it reminds me of some non-food item from my childhood - i'm thinking it was the mattress for one of our barbie beds.)***yea, yea, i know. but it came out in '88 and i was still totally in muppet family christmas mode back then since our mother had a more intense ratings system than the MPAA. but i did eventually see the third one, at least.
Monday, October 01, 2007
apologies, apologies.
i know. i post "breaking news" and then i don't bother to post the update until a week later. let's pretend i'm just a master of suspense.
so lets backtrack to last thursday.
around 3:30pm - note that the dead mouse situation was reported more than 3 hours earlier. why was this not a priority?? - two maintenance workers mosey into my office with a flashlight. after a few minutes of poking around in the corner, they decide they need to move my desk (this fact comes in to play a little later) to get a better look at the corner near the radiator. desk is shoved aside, a loud noise is heard, and a few moments later one of men ask me for a plastic bag. i hand him the bag, he stands there looking at me, and this conversation ensues:
maintenance guy: do you like mice?
chrissy: huh?
m.g.: do you like mice?
chrissy: umm, no. not really.
m.g.: ok.
chrissy: why? is there a live mouse?!
m.g.: no, its dead on a trap. so i wouldn't want you to see a dead mouse if you liked mice. but you don't...(bends to pick up mouse)
chrissy: i'm just going to go wait in the hall.
they bagged the mouse and bade me farewell. after securing a scented candle - a fire hazard in an office, i know, but after spending a morning smelling rodent rot i almost wanted to cause a fire - i discovered my computer had shut down.
not only did it shut down, but the jostling from the shifting of my desk knocked it so completely out of whack that soon after maintenance left with my mouse, the IT guy left with my computer.
i am happy to report that by now everything is finally back to normal.
so lets backtrack to last thursday.
around 3:30pm - note that the dead mouse situation was reported more than 3 hours earlier. why was this not a priority?? - two maintenance workers mosey into my office with a flashlight. after a few minutes of poking around in the corner, they decide they need to move my desk (this fact comes in to play a little later) to get a better look at the corner near the radiator. desk is shoved aside, a loud noise is heard, and a few moments later one of men ask me for a plastic bag. i hand him the bag, he stands there looking at me, and this conversation ensues:
maintenance guy: do you like mice?
chrissy: huh?
m.g.: do you like mice?
chrissy: umm, no. not really.
m.g.: ok.
chrissy: why? is there a live mouse?!
m.g.: no, its dead on a trap. so i wouldn't want you to see a dead mouse if you liked mice. but you don't...(bends to pick up mouse)
chrissy: i'm just going to go wait in the hall.
they bagged the mouse and bade me farewell. after securing a scented candle - a fire hazard in an office, i know, but after spending a morning smelling rodent rot i almost wanted to cause a fire - i discovered my computer had shut down.
not only did it shut down, but the jostling from the shifting of my desk knocked it so completely out of whack that soon after maintenance left with my mouse, the IT guy left with my computer.
i am happy to report that by now everything is finally back to normal.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
breaking...
remember my stories about the stink in our office's lobby due to the dead mice in the ceiling/radiator/walls? well, in the past two weeks there have been random funky smells around the office, and a few dead mice have been found in radiators in private offices.
guess who's turn it is today?!
i knew something smelled amiss/gross when i walked into my office this morning. periodically i've been walking out into the hall and stepping back in, to see if i was just being crazy - or, horror, if it was perhaps me - but no, the air in the hall smelled different. still bad, but of a different magnitude.
so overhearing two coworkers discussing a smell in our area of the floor, i bounded out of my office, thrilled that others noticed this too, and joined them in a sniffing hunt. (for someone with allergies, i think i make an excellent bloodhound)
upon entering my office, one of my coworkers confirmed my suspicion announcing, "yes. there's something dead in here."
he could've been referring to my spirit.
but more to come when the undertakers get here. oh the excitement!
guess who's turn it is today?!
i knew something smelled amiss/gross when i walked into my office this morning. periodically i've been walking out into the hall and stepping back in, to see if i was just being crazy - or, horror, if it was perhaps me - but no, the air in the hall smelled different. still bad, but of a different magnitude.
so overhearing two coworkers discussing a smell in our area of the floor, i bounded out of my office, thrilled that others noticed this too, and joined them in a sniffing hunt. (for someone with allergies, i think i make an excellent bloodhound)
upon entering my office, one of my coworkers confirmed my suspicion announcing, "yes. there's something dead in here."
he could've been referring to my spirit.
but more to come when the undertakers get here. oh the excitement!
getting back on track.
before i mislead anyone, i'm only currently into ninjas because i think this 'ninja burglar' story is freaking hilarious. when it comes to that age-old debate, ninja vs. pirate, i am totally, 1 million percent, on the pirate team. ninjas, i assume, must have a commitment to fitness that i just can't handle. the carousing life of a pirate is entirely more my speed.
speaking of, i even missed Talk like a Pirate Day last week! a very happy belated one to all.
so what have i been up to that i've been so neglectful of my little patch of the web? tons. missy and i threw an amazing (if we say so ourselves) apartment-warming party, managing to squeeze a record 30+ people into our new place. i discovered the power of WD-40 and eradicated the vexing three-year-old issue of having a super-squeaky bed. i celebrated my one-year anniversary at my 'new' job. i learned how not to mop a wood floor and how to infuse my own vodka. i finished watching every eddie izzard comedy special that exists on dvd. i got my bangs back. i received a bossy bear**!
and, most importantly, i had my faith in the dry cleaning industry restored, when they lost a pair of my pants - my very favorite work pants - but then found them for me a few days later, with just about every employee at the cleaners leaving me voicemails to announce that my pants were safe and sound. (and no, i'm not just copying that recent episode of curb your enthusiasm - i actually lost my pants the day before it aired. i always knew i felt a special kinship with larry david.)
**missy calls me "bossy bear". but i'm not actually bossy. i'm just doing my job as the older, wiser, sibling. really.
speaking of, i even missed Talk like a Pirate Day last week! a very happy belated one to all.
so what have i been up to that i've been so neglectful of my little patch of the web? tons. missy and i threw an amazing (if we say so ourselves) apartment-warming party, managing to squeeze a record 30+ people into our new place. i discovered the power of WD-40 and eradicated the vexing three-year-old issue of having a super-squeaky bed. i celebrated my one-year anniversary at my 'new' job. i learned how not to mop a wood floor and how to infuse my own vodka. i finished watching every eddie izzard comedy special that exists on dvd. i got my bangs back. i received a bossy bear**!
and, most importantly, i had my faith in the dry cleaning industry restored, when they lost a pair of my pants - my very favorite work pants - but then found them for me a few days later, with just about every employee at the cleaners leaving me voicemails to announce that my pants were safe and sound. (and no, i'm not just copying that recent episode of curb your enthusiasm - i actually lost my pants the day before it aired. i always knew i felt a special kinship with larry david.)
**missy calls me "bossy bear". but i'm not actually bossy. i'm just doing my job as the older, wiser, sibling. really.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
does the second amendment apply to nunchucks?
a ninja burglar bill! oh this story just keeps getting better and better...
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime_file/2007/09/24/2007-09-24_ninja_burglar_strikes_fear_in_staten_isl.html
(i know. its been ages and the first thing i come back with is a mere link?? how rotten! but i needed to report the very latest on the n.burglar, plus i'm working on a post of substance recapping the whirlwind of the past two weeks. we'll be up and running again soon, i promise, dear handful of wonderful, loyal readers.)
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime_file/2007/09/24/2007-09-24_ninja_burglar_strikes_fear_in_staten_isl.html
(i know. its been ages and the first thing i come back with is a mere link?? how rotten! but i needed to report the very latest on the n.burglar, plus i'm working on a post of substance recapping the whirlwind of the past two weeks. we'll be up and running again soon, i promise, dear handful of wonderful, loyal readers.)
Friday, September 14, 2007
they say you are what you eat.
we apologize for our absence, but its been an insanely busy week over here - the highlight? an awesomely fun night of irish music in philadelphia last night. the lowlight? loveandcyanide's first trip to the gastroenterologist.
i shall spare everyone the details of the trip, but i would just like to say that i've never filled out a more invasive pre-doctor visit questionnaire in my entire life. the highlight of this lowlight, however, was hearing a fellow waiting roomer comment that his answer to the question "what color?" was "like a benjamin moore chart". i am still torturing missy with that line two days later. you know how she hates bathroom humour.
--------
so while at wendy's today - figured this was the only logical segue after talking about my visit to a stomach doctor - i realized that they have changed the look of their menu boards, and have upgraded to a faux wood finish around the menus. snazzy! i always felt wendy's was the BMW of the fast food world, and this just seals it.
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so while at wendy's today - figured this was the only logical segue after talking about my visit to a stomach doctor - i realized that they have changed the look of their menu boards, and have upgraded to a faux wood finish around the menus. snazzy! i always felt wendy's was the BMW of the fast food world, and this just seals it.
Friday, September 07, 2007
does your hometown have a ninja burglar?
coming across this bit of news about our darling home borough has made my entire week.
http://www.silive.com/news/index.ssf/2007/09/his_fight_with_the_ninja_burgl.html
http://www.silive.com/news/index.ssf/2007/09/his_fight_with_the_ninja_burgl.html
morning observations.
i hate carrying food onto the subway - in this particular case, a foil pan full of brownies that i made for today's office party. oh, chrissy, you domestic goddess, you! - because everyone just sits there staring at whatever wrapped item you're holding. clearly its not a suspicious package people, settle down. i decided that if anyone actually asked what was in the pan, since it seemed like it might come to that as a short man in a plaid cap sidled up into me/my brownies, i'd tell them it was my pet turtle.
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another thing i hate - clear bra straps. i have dear friends who swear by them, so i won't go completely off on how dumb/disgusting i think the straps are/look, but i will comment that clear does not equal invisible, ladies!! when you wear them with a tube top we can SEE THEM!! really, a tube top. holy cow, some people are stupid.
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a less hateful observation - a woman got onto the train this morning and when she turned around, i noticed that the back of her shirt read, 2007 US OPEN. HAIRSTYLIST TO THE PLAYERS. i found this curious. do the players have their hair coiffed before their games? do the stylists come around after the match to arrange their sweaty locks for post-game interviews? do all professional sports events have the luxury of hair stylists for the participants?
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and a final one - there was another, less curious but more entertaining, shirt of note spied during today's commute. the back of it featured two cartoon clams smiling at each other, with the line "let's shuck" printed above their shells. juvenile, sure, but i got a good chuckle out of it.
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another thing i hate - clear bra straps. i have dear friends who swear by them, so i won't go completely off on how dumb/disgusting i think the straps are/look, but i will comment that clear does not equal invisible, ladies!! when you wear them with a tube top we can SEE THEM!! really, a tube top. holy cow, some people are stupid.
------------
a less hateful observation - a woman got onto the train this morning and when she turned around, i noticed that the back of her shirt read, 2007 US OPEN. HAIRSTYLIST TO THE PLAYERS. i found this curious. do the players have their hair coiffed before their games? do the stylists come around after the match to arrange their sweaty locks for post-game interviews? do all professional sports events have the luxury of hair stylists for the participants?
------------
and a final one - there was another, less curious but more entertaining, shirt of note spied during today's commute. the back of it featured two cartoon clams smiling at each other, with the line "let's shuck" printed above their shells. juvenile, sure, but i got a good chuckle out of it.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
thursday shot of vitamin C.
as everyone around me has fallen ill throughout the course of the past 24 hours - friends, siblings, coworkers, friends' coworkers...i'm really not exaggerating, is there something in the air that i'm unaware of? - i think its a good time to talk about something healthy.
like fruit.
thanks to reader PH, i was introduced to a most interesting new fruit today - the plumpricot** - which is, you guessed it, the offspring of a plum + apricot. i'm a big fan of the plum, and not so much a fan of the apricot, so i figured my feelings on this new fruit would be mixed. but no - its absolutely delicious. great texture, great coloring, and great taste. nothing could ever knock the mango out of my top fruit spot, but this tasty little hybrid could possibly make my top 5 after having only one. i will be stalking the supermarkets for these little gems until they go out of season.
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its ironic that as i finish this post about fruit someone near my office is eating either fried chicken or fast food, and i'm seriously thisclose to drooling due to the deep-fried scent wafting through the air. sigh. i sit so precariously close to the edge of the healthy food wagon.
**after searching online, i've found this hybrid called a plumcot, pluot, aprium, plumpricot and plumicot. i personally think that plumpricot is the most fun to say, so even if its not the most agriculturally-correct version of the word, it'll be the one i use.
like fruit.
thanks to reader PH, i was introduced to a most interesting new fruit today - the plumpricot** - which is, you guessed it, the offspring of a plum + apricot. i'm a big fan of the plum, and not so much a fan of the apricot, so i figured my feelings on this new fruit would be mixed. but no - its absolutely delicious. great texture, great coloring, and great taste. nothing could ever knock the mango out of my top fruit spot, but this tasty little hybrid could possibly make my top 5 after having only one. i will be stalking the supermarkets for these little gems until they go out of season.
----------------
its ironic that as i finish this post about fruit someone near my office is eating either fried chicken or fast food, and i'm seriously thisclose to drooling due to the deep-fried scent wafting through the air. sigh. i sit so precariously close to the edge of the healthy food wagon.
**after searching online, i've found this hybrid called a plumcot, pluot, aprium, plumpricot and plumicot. i personally think that plumpricot is the most fun to say, so even if its not the most agriculturally-correct version of the word, it'll be the one i use.
Friday, August 31, 2007
update.
since my last posting elicited such a response about pennies - pennies! what will happen if i write about nickels? - on the comments page, i wanted to follow-up and let everyone know that after 3 days of lurking at the base of the porcelain bowl, my toilet penny is now gone.
so either pennies require about 95 flushes before they make it down the pipe, or someone was in desperate need of change.
so either pennies require about 95 flushes before they make it down the pipe, or someone was in desperate need of change.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
bathroom talk.
when missy and i were going over our criteria for a new apt, one of my top priorities was the quality of the bathroom - more specifically, i preferred for the tub to have shower doors. why would i care? well, since the age of 10, with the exception of the college years (and i blocked those gross showers out of my memory, so they really don't count) and various stays at friend's places and hotels, i've always lived in a place with shower doors. and once you get used to shower doors - the plethora of light they allow in to the tub, the fact that they don't billow about and ensnare you in their plastic grip like curtains do - its hard to downgrade back to a curtain.
as we could barely find a apartment that had a bathroom that looked like it had been remodeled anytime in the past 50 years, "shower doors" was quickly crossed off my wish list. and although in the end we wound up in a brand spanking new place, the tub was still doorless and required a curtain.
i quickly saw the good in the situation as i spent an entire workday perusing for curtains - who knew there were so many fun ones out there?! - and when missy and i hung up our awesomely clever new one and it totally made the room, i couldn't help but think that i might actually be swayed out of the door camp.
but i haven't been.
although my adjustment to showering with a curtain is going pretty smoothly thus far, there's still one major, major bother - what i refer to as the "psycho factor". i never had to worry about someone sneaking into the bathroom and attacking me when i had clear doors to look out of. now, its all i can think about. i actually obsess over it the entire time i'm in the shower, tacking on a good minute or two to my bath time as i constantly need to peep my head around the curtain, to make sure the door is still closed and no intruder is lurking near the toilet with a machete.
i know this sounds nuts, but its not just me -- missy is having this issue as well. we discussed our dilemma the other day, and it seems like our next curtain might have to be a see-thru one.
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in further bathroom news, there has been a penny in one of our work toilets for the past two days. this doesn't necessarily bother me, as i kind of like the wishing well effect it lends to our otherwise disgusting women's bathroom, but my question is - why won't it flush down the toilet? is it a chemical thing? or did some creep glue it there?
as we could barely find a apartment that had a bathroom that looked like it had been remodeled anytime in the past 50 years, "shower doors" was quickly crossed off my wish list. and although in the end we wound up in a brand spanking new place, the tub was still doorless and required a curtain.
i quickly saw the good in the situation as i spent an entire workday perusing for curtains - who knew there were so many fun ones out there?! - and when missy and i hung up our awesomely clever new one and it totally made the room, i couldn't help but think that i might actually be swayed out of the door camp.
but i haven't been.
although my adjustment to showering with a curtain is going pretty smoothly thus far, there's still one major, major bother - what i refer to as the "psycho factor". i never had to worry about someone sneaking into the bathroom and attacking me when i had clear doors to look out of. now, its all i can think about. i actually obsess over it the entire time i'm in the shower, tacking on a good minute or two to my bath time as i constantly need to peep my head around the curtain, to make sure the door is still closed and no intruder is lurking near the toilet with a machete.
i know this sounds nuts, but its not just me -- missy is having this issue as well. we discussed our dilemma the other day, and it seems like our next curtain might have to be a see-thru one.
-----------------
in further bathroom news, there has been a penny in one of our work toilets for the past two days. this doesn't necessarily bother me, as i kind of like the wishing well effect it lends to our otherwise disgusting women's bathroom, but my question is - why won't it flush down the toilet? is it a chemical thing? or did some creep glue it there?
Friday, August 24, 2007
full circle.
forgive me for being a slacker this week, its been an exceptionally busy one. its ironic that i manage to find an awesome new apartment that i just want to sit in, all the time, and then fall into an especially busy social period, so i wind up spending no time in it at all.
so, in a rather amazing coincidence, not one, but THREE things i've mentioned in recent months came back to haunt me today (and its only the early afternoon) :
1. as i walked to the train this morning, there idled a small commercial van. outside the back of the van was a cardboard box containing ice...and fish heads.
really. i couldn't make this stuff up. while wondering about the usage of cardboard and, again, conditions that i believe the USDA would not consider sanitary, i also prayed that maybe a horror movie is filming in a nearby building and that would explain all the miscellaneous early morning animal parts. if not, i might rethink all the dinnering we do in our local establishments.
2. my office mate, the mutant fly, has returned. and this time he's brought an equally monstrous friend.
i've resorted to playing music to drown out the racket they are making as they buzz through my blinds. i will also be adding "purchase massive fly swatter" to my weekend to-do list, as i just had to use Kleenex as weaponry when throwing my tissue box at the blinds. which made an even louder racket. i really am thankful for the fact that no one was passing by my office to witness my (slight) freak-out. but the flies are actually making me nuts - another hour and i see myself tearing the blinds off the windows, wildly waving files, and flinging office supplies in attempted insect murder.
3. the kicker - about an hour ago, the back of my chair fell off. the comedy gods must be off today, as i happened to be leaning forward when it happened and thereby escaped a tumble to the floor.
on a positive note, i finally figured out where that "extra" knob goes.
so, in a rather amazing coincidence, not one, but THREE things i've mentioned in recent months came back to haunt me today (and its only the early afternoon) :
1. as i walked to the train this morning, there idled a small commercial van. outside the back of the van was a cardboard box containing ice...and fish heads.
really. i couldn't make this stuff up. while wondering about the usage of cardboard and, again, conditions that i believe the USDA would not consider sanitary, i also prayed that maybe a horror movie is filming in a nearby building and that would explain all the miscellaneous early morning animal parts. if not, i might rethink all the dinnering we do in our local establishments.
2. my office mate, the mutant fly, has returned. and this time he's brought an equally monstrous friend.
i've resorted to playing music to drown out the racket they are making as they buzz through my blinds. i will also be adding "purchase massive fly swatter" to my weekend to-do list, as i just had to use Kleenex as weaponry when throwing my tissue box at the blinds. which made an even louder racket. i really am thankful for the fact that no one was passing by my office to witness my (slight) freak-out. but the flies are actually making me nuts - another hour and i see myself tearing the blinds off the windows, wildly waving files, and flinging office supplies in attempted insect murder.
3. the kicker - about an hour ago, the back of my chair fell off. the comedy gods must be off today, as i happened to be leaning forward when it happened and thereby escaped a tumble to the floor.
on a positive note, i finally figured out where that "extra" knob goes.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
i'm just the yin to you noisy, nosy, yangs.
"you're so quiet"
i can't tell you how many times i've heard that line throughout my life. why, i just heard it again about 2 minutes ago, making it the catalyst for this rant.
is this an insult? i've never understood what someone is trying to insinuate when they come upon me, standing there/sitting there minding my own business, and make that comment. yes, i am pretty quiet - some people are. does my peacefulness bother you? does the fact that you can't hear my voice reverberate around the office annoy you? what exactly is the problem? if you're just trying to begin a conversation, i can think of 100 better starters than that one.
under certain circumstances i can understand being told this, but those are mainly all personal situations, where the person telling me "you're so quiet" is saying it because they want to know whats on my mind. totally acceptable, especially when the other party knows me well enough to know that only 70% of what goes on in my mind comes out of my mouth.
but i just do not at all understand being randomly told that i'm quiet by someone who doesn't really know me. it would be rude of me to comment to another "you're so noisy", wouldn't it? this is technically the same thing.
oh this irks me to no end.
i can't tell you how many times i've heard that line throughout my life. why, i just heard it again about 2 minutes ago, making it the catalyst for this rant.
is this an insult? i've never understood what someone is trying to insinuate when they come upon me, standing there/sitting there minding my own business, and make that comment. yes, i am pretty quiet - some people are. does my peacefulness bother you? does the fact that you can't hear my voice reverberate around the office annoy you? what exactly is the problem? if you're just trying to begin a conversation, i can think of 100 better starters than that one.
under certain circumstances i can understand being told this, but those are mainly all personal situations, where the person telling me "you're so quiet" is saying it because they want to know whats on my mind. totally acceptable, especially when the other party knows me well enough to know that only 70% of what goes on in my mind comes out of my mouth.
but i just do not at all understand being randomly told that i'm quiet by someone who doesn't really know me. it would be rude of me to comment to another "you're so noisy", wouldn't it? this is technically the same thing.
oh this irks me to no end.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
i believe this model came with some spare parts...
while twirling around in my office chair earlier today, there was a clang and a knob and some washers (father is handy, or else i'd have no idea what those things are called) appeared on the floor. fearing i was about to find myself in a similar position, i got up, flipped the chair over, and attempted to reattach them.
no dice. having examined every single little inch of the base, back, and sides of this chair, it doesn't appear that this knob can be screwed back in anywhere. which is strange as it had to fall from somewhere... so i'm going to pretend that it was just an extra knob that had been taped to the bottom of the chair in case of emergencies.
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speaking of emergencies, an incident occurred yesterday morning that had me briefly considering vegetarianism. (i know...i didn't think it was possible either)
as i did my short little walk to the train i passed by some men unloading items from a truck. as i approached the truck, i noticed one man passing what appeared to be a whole, skinned, duck down to another man on the ground, who then placed it in a shopping cart. thinking i was hallucinating - wouldn't that be unsanitary? - i shifted my gaze onto the cart, and found that i was unfortunately correct. it was filled almost to the brim with duck carcasses. and, atop the ducks, a giant cow head. the cow gazed accusingly at me while i climbed the subway steps, wondering if the burger i had saturday night might be my last.
it won't be. i somehow managed to bounce back from the traumatizing 'shopping cart of horrors' experience within a few hours, and found myself cheerfully helping missy cook steaks later that evening.
but i did have a nightmare last night.
no dice. having examined every single little inch of the base, back, and sides of this chair, it doesn't appear that this knob can be screwed back in anywhere. which is strange as it had to fall from somewhere... so i'm going to pretend that it was just an extra knob that had been taped to the bottom of the chair in case of emergencies.
--------------------
speaking of emergencies, an incident occurred yesterday morning that had me briefly considering vegetarianism. (i know...i didn't think it was possible either)
as i did my short little walk to the train i passed by some men unloading items from a truck. as i approached the truck, i noticed one man passing what appeared to be a whole, skinned, duck down to another man on the ground, who then placed it in a shopping cart. thinking i was hallucinating - wouldn't that be unsanitary? - i shifted my gaze onto the cart, and found that i was unfortunately correct. it was filled almost to the brim with duck carcasses. and, atop the ducks, a giant cow head. the cow gazed accusingly at me while i climbed the subway steps, wondering if the burger i had saturday night might be my last.
it won't be. i somehow managed to bounce back from the traumatizing 'shopping cart of horrors' experience within a few hours, and found myself cheerfully helping missy cook steaks later that evening.
but i did have a nightmare last night.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
a new level of multitasking.
having already expressed our love for supermarkets many - some may say too many - times here, you are well aware of our support of the industry.
that said, i'm not quite sure how i feel about this:
check out.
a singles event at a supermarket. in one respect, i think this is sort of clever - a shopping cart full of goodies makes for an easy conversation starter. oh hey, you prefer rice pasta too?
on the other hand, i think its sort of creepy (and not just because i think all forced singles events seem sort of creepy). and really, what are they going to do about the harsh supermarket lighting?
that said, i'm not quite sure how i feel about this:
check out.
a singles event at a supermarket. in one respect, i think this is sort of clever - a shopping cart full of goodies makes for an easy conversation starter. oh hey, you prefer rice pasta too?
on the other hand, i think its sort of creepy (and not just because i think all forced singles events seem sort of creepy). and really, what are they going to do about the harsh supermarket lighting?
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
we haven't done an animal post in awhile.
since the death of our beloved cat tigger two months ago there's been a dearth of all things cute and fuzzy in our lives. thankfully, a new season of meerkat manor (or meeeeeerkat manor, as i so like to whiningly say) is starting up this week, so cute/fuzziness will be restored.
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so at our rather raucous family gathering this weekend we were treated to two very different, yet equally ridiculous, animal stories from family members.
first up was the tale of the seagull - "the little bastard", as my mother called him - who menaced my parents for their funnel cake on their recent weekend down the shore. inching closer and closer as they ate on a bench, the "brazen" seagull infuriated my mother so much that she threw her napkin at him in an attempt to distract him from his cakey target. unfortunately, the tossing of the napkin prompted a seagull swarm, and my parents were chased from their bench by about 20 seagulls diving down to see what had been thrown at their leader. and my dad wonders why missy and i prefer to vacation without them.
never one to be topped, my aunt launched into her recent encounter with a garden snake - an encounter that included screaming, a 10-minute weed killer shower for said snake, the apparent death of snake, joyous celebration by aunt, and then the subsequent discovery that snake had disappeared, meaning she either vaporized it with the weed killer, or, most likely, simply maced the thing into a temporary stupor.
its really no wonder i can't handle killing a giant fly when i see how poorly my relatives react when put in man-vs-beast situations.
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so at our rather raucous family gathering this weekend we were treated to two very different, yet equally ridiculous, animal stories from family members.
first up was the tale of the seagull - "the little bastard", as my mother called him - who menaced my parents for their funnel cake on their recent weekend down the shore. inching closer and closer as they ate on a bench, the "brazen" seagull infuriated my mother so much that she threw her napkin at him in an attempt to distract him from his cakey target. unfortunately, the tossing of the napkin prompted a seagull swarm, and my parents were chased from their bench by about 20 seagulls diving down to see what had been thrown at their leader. and my dad wonders why missy and i prefer to vacation without them.
never one to be topped, my aunt launched into her recent encounter with a garden snake - an encounter that included screaming, a 10-minute weed killer shower for said snake, the apparent death of snake, joyous celebration by aunt, and then the subsequent discovery that snake had disappeared, meaning she either vaporized it with the weed killer, or, most likely, simply maced the thing into a temporary stupor.
its really no wonder i can't handle killing a giant fly when i see how poorly my relatives react when put in man-vs-beast situations.
Friday, August 03, 2007
mr. met might have a harder time stalking me now that i've changed my address.
well, mr. met isn't personally stalking me (i wish! i would love to see that giant baseball head ducking into bushes and behind cars as he followed me home), but his organization is.
for the past few weeks i've received a 'courtesy call' on my cell about every 3 days from the mets. why?? i think i've purchased mets tickets maybe once in my life, and i know that i didn't give them my cell phone number. whenever missy and i have to give out numbers, we offer up our parent's. hee.
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so besides the MLB harassing me, all has been going excellently - most especially, the move, and the new apartment. i know we were complaining, and everyone complains, about how hard it is to move - but we were never informed about how glorious it is to actually use movers. to stand around idly while your stuff magically gets from one place to another. in our valid attempts to help them - having grown up with our mother, its impossible for us to feel anything but guilty as we stand by and watch others do things without pitching in - the guys actually took items from our hands and carried them out themselves. of course this could've been because the moment i picked up our decorative metal wheel i managed to knock it on the floor, where it made a deafening clang in the near-empty room, but nevertheless, it was absolutely amazing how efficient these guys were.
missy even commented that she intends to hire movers to get her kids to and fro college. which, if they have even half the amount of crap she and i managed to cram into our dorm rooms, isn't really as outlandish as it may sound.
for the past few weeks i've received a 'courtesy call' on my cell about every 3 days from the mets. why?? i think i've purchased mets tickets maybe once in my life, and i know that i didn't give them my cell phone number. whenever missy and i have to give out numbers, we offer up our parent's. hee.
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so besides the MLB harassing me, all has been going excellently - most especially, the move, and the new apartment. i know we were complaining, and everyone complains, about how hard it is to move - but we were never informed about how glorious it is to actually use movers. to stand around idly while your stuff magically gets from one place to another. in our valid attempts to help them - having grown up with our mother, its impossible for us to feel anything but guilty as we stand by and watch others do things without pitching in - the guys actually took items from our hands and carried them out themselves. of course this could've been because the moment i picked up our decorative metal wheel i managed to knock it on the floor, where it made a deafening clang in the near-empty room, but nevertheless, it was absolutely amazing how efficient these guys were.
missy even commented that she intends to hire movers to get her kids to and fro college. which, if they have even half the amount of crap she and i managed to cram into our dorm rooms, isn't really as outlandish as it may sound.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
is shoe-free the way to be?
so i know i was bitching last week about the barefoot old woman on the bus, and we all basically decided that she was just a crazy old bird that i shouldn't concern myself with, as it wasn't my feet touching the dirty bus floor.
well, now its more than that. its no longer just one batty old woman...its a whole epidemic of shoeless people running around NYC.
yesterday i was on the circle line for our office's "summer outing" and i spied a young woman walking around barefoot. ok, so we were on a boat. but it wasn't a private yacht, it was a tourist mecca that i am certain has seen the soles of thousands of passengers tramp across its floors.
then just before as i was walking to the deli to pick up lunch i passed a boy wheeling his scooter down the block while wearing only white socks. i did a full examination of his entire person and there wasn't a pair of sneakers in sight.
seriously, did i miss some memo that the streets of new york are suddenly super clean?
well, now its more than that. its no longer just one batty old woman...its a whole epidemic of shoeless people running around NYC.
yesterday i was on the circle line for our office's "summer outing" and i spied a young woman walking around barefoot. ok, so we were on a boat. but it wasn't a private yacht, it was a tourist mecca that i am certain has seen the soles of thousands of passengers tramp across its floors.
then just before as i was walking to the deli to pick up lunch i passed a boy wheeling his scooter down the block while wearing only white socks. i did a full examination of his entire person and there wasn't a pair of sneakers in sight.
seriously, did i miss some memo that the streets of new york are suddenly super clean?
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
the great ______ caper.
the _____ in our headline is for our last name, which, to protect the innocent, we don't use here at loveandcyanide. if you do happen to know it - i believe 3 of our approx. 7 readers do - feel free to insert it in the blank when reading it throughout this post. if you don't know it, just use some other two-syllable word. we suggest muppet since "the great muppet caper" is a fantastic movie (and our favorite charles grodin film).
the great _____ caper occurred last night around 9:30pm. slightly delirious from a long day of work and packing, missy decided to clean out the pantry and discard any and all old food items (the winner of the Ms. Expired pageant, a rather close race between a bag of rice, boxed mashed potatoes and a few packages of jello, went to the packet of pistachio jello, dated 6/05). in retrospect, this was entirely too arduous of a task for this time of the evening, being in our current state of affairs.
so i had a bad feeling when missy squealed with excitement over discovering an unopened - and still edible - jar of capers in the pantry, and i therefore wasn't all too surprised when a few minutes later i heard the melodious tinkle of glass hitting the kitchen floor. ordered to put on shoes, i arrived in the kitchen to a salty stink, and saw the little green guys rolling all over our floor amongst shards of glass. shoeless missy stood in the midst of it looking forlorn, and it took a good two minutes for us to decide exactly what our plan our action would be. i believe someone suggested just leaving it on the floor for the new people.
a short while later the mess was (mostly) taken care of, the kitchen only smelled slightly briny, and as we skated back and forth on paper towels drying the floor, we had a good chuckle over our tuesday evening 'caper'.
which was slightly messier but certainly less serious than our monday evening caper, which involved the unplugging of our nintendo and the subsequent destruction of our satellite tv service. we have no idea what missy did with the wires, but it is now impossible to hook everything back up. and so we're tv-less.
lesson learned this week: do not turn back on sister during packing.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
revisiting first crushes.
i try not to get suckered into reality series, but a new one started up that i'm finding impossible to resist -- scott baio is 45...and single.
scott baio was my very first celebrity crush. according to various family members, i was completely obsessed with the show joanie loves chachi - well, i guess as obsessed as a 2-3 year old could be with something she clearly could not at all understand - and when people used to ask me who my boyfriend was, i used to answer, "chachi!". i wonder if my parents found this adorably precocious or just plain frightening.
so they nicknamed me 'joanie' for awhile, and although i don't completely remember watching the show or the feelings of chachi love i apparently held in my itty-bitty heart, i can vividly recall the old ladies who used to frequent my family's grocery store calling me joanie whenever they came shopping. so apparently most of brooklyn was aware of my crush.
but regardless of these nostalgic reasons, it's actually a pretty compelling show and mr. baio makes for a rather sympathetic almost ex-womanizer as his life-coach helps him along. AND, and, the kicker is one of his best buds and the producer of the show is...jason hervey! older brother from the wonder years and another former celeb crush of mine. i know, i know - why did i like the chubby asshole brother while everyone else liked adorable little kevin arnold?
perhaps scott baio isn't the only one in need of a life-coach.
scott baio was my very first celebrity crush. according to various family members, i was completely obsessed with the show joanie loves chachi - well, i guess as obsessed as a 2-3 year old could be with something she clearly could not at all understand - and when people used to ask me who my boyfriend was, i used to answer, "chachi!". i wonder if my parents found this adorably precocious or just plain frightening.
so they nicknamed me 'joanie' for awhile, and although i don't completely remember watching the show or the feelings of chachi love i apparently held in my itty-bitty heart, i can vividly recall the old ladies who used to frequent my family's grocery store calling me joanie whenever they came shopping. so apparently most of brooklyn was aware of my crush.
but regardless of these nostalgic reasons, it's actually a pretty compelling show and mr. baio makes for a rather sympathetic almost ex-womanizer as his life-coach helps him along. AND, and, the kicker is one of his best buds and the producer of the show is...jason hervey! older brother from the wonder years and another former celeb crush of mine. i know, i know - why did i like the chubby asshole brother while everyone else liked adorable little kevin arnold?
perhaps scott baio isn't the only one in need of a life-coach.
Friday, July 20, 2007
moving is tough.
last week's excitement over discovering an awesome new apartment has waned the past few days. while the packing part of the process is a little less stressful than the initial hunting part, i wouldn't call wrangling three year's worth of stuff into bags and boxes easy. or fun.
so while we declined plans with friends all week in favor of packing, there is nary a filled box in site. instead we've managed to:
- update Bear's myspace page
- get drunk
- make ice cream sandwiches
- watch Beerfest
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so in an earlier post i mentioned about the plethora of shady real estate agents we dealt with. seriously, i had no idea what i was in for as my last apt was by owner. not like he was a prize - more like a pervert and racist - but at least we didn't have to fork over 1 month's rent to him.but in the past few weeks we've come to meet a variety of evil agents - liars, cheats, scoundrels. how do these people sleep at night? (with the exception of the kindly greek santa claus-like broker who we would've been happy to give business to. we're sorry we just didn't like anything you showed us, manny!) i understand they're just trying to make a buck, but really, there has to be more ethical ways to go about it. missy and i came home practically in tears some nights.
we're thinking that's what catapulted our application above the rest. thank goodness for our shtick.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
ick.
dear older woman in yellow sundress on the bus this morning,
i understand it was raining - no, POURING - earlier today and that wet shoes can feel really really really gross on one's feet. trust me, it's over an hour after i came in from the rain and i am still completely regretting wearing open-toe flats...
but did you have to take the city bus BAREFOOT????? the sight of your bare feet squishing on the presumably filthy bus floor almost made me lose my breakfast.
please invest in galoshes.
your concerned fellow commuter,
chrissy
i understand it was raining - no, POURING - earlier today and that wet shoes can feel really really really gross on one's feet. trust me, it's over an hour after i came in from the rain and i am still completely regretting wearing open-toe flats...
but did you have to take the city bus BAREFOOT????? the sight of your bare feet squishing on the presumably filthy bus floor almost made me lose my breakfast.
please invest in galoshes.
your concerned fellow commuter,
chrissy
Friday, July 13, 2007
movin' on up.
it's been a crazy/awesome week for us, mainly because loveandcyanide has found new headquarters! after a grueling hunt for a new apartment - more on the search and the plethora of shady real estate agents that exist in astoria to come - we found a new place. a new and improved place that completely fulfilled our #1 new apartment request, which was to move closer to the train.
never ones to settle for half-asseyness, we will now be living in spitting distance from the train. seriously. Bear can sit on our balcony and heckle commuters as they pass. if you took a running leap out of our windows you would actually land on train tracks. we may have taken our wish to the extreme.
but while we do realize we might need to invest in earplugs and probably wear more than underwear when prancing about the apartment near the windows, we're still excited as hell.
never ones to settle for half-asseyness, we will now be living in spitting distance from the train. seriously. Bear can sit on our balcony and heckle commuters as they pass. if you took a running leap out of our windows you would actually land on train tracks. we may have taken our wish to the extreme.
but while we do realize we might need to invest in earplugs and probably wear more than underwear when prancing about the apartment near the windows, we're still excited as hell.
Monday, July 09, 2007
hot. hot. hot.
we're back, and in high spirits over here at loveandcyanide. having spent the past 8 days in basically perfect summer weather doing nothing more than sunning on the beach and having fun with friends, how can we not be?
the massive fly is also gone from my office.
so being on vacation high myself, i've taken notice of those who are vacationing in myhot humid disgusting fair city today. they all look miserable -- i didn't see one happy vacation face roasting atop the big red bus. and as i passed one guy i heard him sorrowfully comment to his companion "it stinks like urine here".
my question is, what would possess someone to come to new york in the middle of the summer? i'm curious to see if guidebooks suggest against it and mobs of people just don't heed the suggestion, or if maybe the guidebook industry is in a conspiracy against summer tourists and therefore encourage them to come here when its gross.
the massive fly is also gone from my office.
so being on vacation high myself, i've taken notice of those who are vacationing in my
my question is, what would possess someone to come to new york in the middle of the summer? i'm curious to see if guidebooks suggest against it and mobs of people just don't heed the suggestion, or if maybe the guidebook industry is in a conspiracy against summer tourists and therefore encourage them to come here when its gross.
Friday, June 29, 2007
insectual harassment.
for the past two days a giant fly has been buzzing around my office. if i worked in the zoo, i would find this tolerable. but i don't, and so i really don't know what its doing in here. i also don't know why this fly is so large - about the size of a fully-popped piece of popcorn, which i think is a bit too large for your general nyc fly - although i'm thinking it must be the air in this building that creates mutant bugs. (see: elevator ride from hell)
anyways, i suppose you're wondering why i'm complaining about a fly buzzing around my head, simply doing his little fly thing near the window looking for an exit, as flies usually do. well, this fly isn't doing that. this fly is randomly dive-bombing me as i try to do my work. this fly hangs out on my sudoku puzzle daily calendar watching me type. he'll occasionally fly over to the window, or out my office door, but shortly returns and is again buzzing right over my shoulder. he's shown up on the chair next to me and perching on my mousepad.
i know i should have managed to kill this thing by now, but for some reason i can't get it together and swat him in time. i think its a combination of his size - daunting for a novice bug-killer like myself - and his buzzing, which is excessively loud when he's so close to me and throws me off to the point where instead of grabbing a notepad and swatting him i'm instead doing an indoor-voice girly shriek (translation: an eek-like noise low enough that only the person in the office next door would think something is amiss. blessfully, he has been on vacation.) and jumping out of my chair away from him. its pathetic. and rather distracting - not just the swerving out of his way but also the constant worrying that he might nest in my hair, given its current state of "big + curly". i would hope i could feel him on my scalp if he attempted such a move. - and if he ever emerges from his current lair in my blinds i will have to buck up and destroy him. let's see if i can manage that.
but the good news is, even if i can't handle it, i'm leaving for a week-long vacation later today and having checked out the lifespan of a fly -- which for your average male is 10 days (i'm assuming he's a male due to his size and aggressive nature) -- i'm expecting him to perish naturally and be gone by the time i return.
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so yes, loveandcyanide is heading off on a little vacay for the 4th, so we won't be around for a bit. where are we going? Long Beach Island. go ahead, snicker and make your little jersey shore comments...but LBI is actually a rather nice and quiet little island off the coast of the j.shore and isn't very j.shore-like at all, as the fist-pumping fools that flock to the j.shore have not found their way there yet.
hopefully, my fly won't either.
anyways, i suppose you're wondering why i'm complaining about a fly buzzing around my head, simply doing his little fly thing near the window looking for an exit, as flies usually do. well, this fly isn't doing that. this fly is randomly dive-bombing me as i try to do my work. this fly hangs out on my sudoku puzzle daily calendar watching me type. he'll occasionally fly over to the window, or out my office door, but shortly returns and is again buzzing right over my shoulder. he's shown up on the chair next to me and perching on my mousepad.
i know i should have managed to kill this thing by now, but for some reason i can't get it together and swat him in time. i think its a combination of his size - daunting for a novice bug-killer like myself - and his buzzing, which is excessively loud when he's so close to me and throws me off to the point where instead of grabbing a notepad and swatting him i'm instead doing an indoor-voice girly shriek (translation: an eek-like noise low enough that only the person in the office next door would think something is amiss. blessfully, he has been on vacation.) and jumping out of my chair away from him. its pathetic. and rather distracting - not just the swerving out of his way but also the constant worrying that he might nest in my hair, given its current state of "big + curly". i would hope i could feel him on my scalp if he attempted such a move. - and if he ever emerges from his current lair in my blinds i will have to buck up and destroy him. let's see if i can manage that.
but the good news is, even if i can't handle it, i'm leaving for a week-long vacation later today and having checked out the lifespan of a fly -- which for your average male is 10 days (i'm assuming he's a male due to his size and aggressive nature) -- i'm expecting him to perish naturally and be gone by the time i return.
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so yes, loveandcyanide is heading off on a little vacay for the 4th, so we won't be around for a bit. where are we going? Long Beach Island. go ahead, snicker and make your little jersey shore comments...but LBI is actually a rather nice and quiet little island off the coast of the j.shore and isn't very j.shore-like at all, as the fist-pumping fools that flock to the j.shore have not found their way there yet.
hopefully, my fly won't either.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
road rage: 2-wheeler edition.
while waiting for a friend after work yesterday i witnessed a near-miss between a woman crossing the street and a delivery man on his bicycle. as the man screamed angrily at her as he whizzed past, i couldn't help but have a flashback to my own harrowing experience with an irate cyclist.
i had been in the midst of doing a walk to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis, crossing over the Brooklyn Bridge during the midway point of the walk. now i'll admit that i might have stepped from the pedestrian lane into the bike lane as i was walking, but the pedestrian lane is of a decent width, and it was only missy striding next to me, so at most i was maybe a hip's-worth into the bike path. not very much.
i suddenly felt something closing in behind me, and i heard a shout - "watch it!" as the biker flew past i sort of stumbled in to missy to move out of his way. and as he passed me he turned and screamed "rot in hell!"
rot. in. hell. was that really necessary? we were completely taken aback. i don't think anyone - exes, enemies, shouting homeless bums, anyone - ever told me to rot in hell. and to think, crazy cyclist even yelled this at me while i was wearing a pinny stating that i was there, only so slightly in his way, for a charitable cause. hmmph!
suffice to say i became a little wary of people on bikes after that. sure, i still am friends with people who bike (actually, two of the sweetest girls i know are avid cyclists) and i even attended the bicycle film festival (to see pee-wee's big adventure, of course), however i've seen one too many wrathful cyclist/pedestrian interactions to truly feel comfortable near anyone pedaling around on two wheels.
i had been in the midst of doing a walk to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis, crossing over the Brooklyn Bridge during the midway point of the walk. now i'll admit that i might have stepped from the pedestrian lane into the bike lane as i was walking, but the pedestrian lane is of a decent width, and it was only missy striding next to me, so at most i was maybe a hip's-worth into the bike path. not very much.
i suddenly felt something closing in behind me, and i heard a shout - "watch it!" as the biker flew past i sort of stumbled in to missy to move out of his way. and as he passed me he turned and screamed "rot in hell!"
rot. in. hell. was that really necessary? we were completely taken aback. i don't think anyone - exes, enemies, shouting homeless bums, anyone - ever told me to rot in hell. and to think, crazy cyclist even yelled this at me while i was wearing a pinny stating that i was there, only so slightly in his way, for a charitable cause. hmmph!
suffice to say i became a little wary of people on bikes after that. sure, i still am friends with people who bike (actually, two of the sweetest girls i know are avid cyclists) and i even attended the bicycle film festival (to see pee-wee's big adventure, of course), however i've seen one too many wrathful cyclist/pedestrian interactions to truly feel comfortable near anyone pedaling around on two wheels.
Monday, June 25, 2007
and so it goes.
i know. where have we been???
unfortunately, we didn't go anywhere. even more unfortunate, loveandcyanide took the break to mourn the death of our beloved little cat tigger, who after 17 years of ruling our roost, succumbed to throat cancer and diabetes (it makes me ridiculously sad when animals have human diseases). its been rather difficult - having never lost a pet before, i had no idea how hard the grieving process would be. i've probably cried more the past two weeks than i ever did for any relative that passed away, which i suppose is slightly disturbing and/or mean, but i've also never lost anyone who slept at the foot of my bed for 10 years. so in that respect i think all my carrying on is fitting. even when i was weepy in the produce aisle of shoprite and you made me wear my sunglasses, missy.
as is typical of my family, we've managed to turn tragedy into comedy to help cope, so currently there is much ado over what to do with the cat's ashes - father wants them to remain in the house, mother wants them buried in the yard in the hole father started digging weeks ago when he made a coffin (yes, coffin) for the cat. last i heard there were threats of father putting mother in the coffin and moving off to tahiti with the little urn. and here you thought i was exaggerating when i said that our cat was the most important member of the household.
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last week i also endured my first experience with layoffs. although there turned out to be only one - one very deserved one, if you ask me - there were office rumours afoot for days that there would be multiple ones, so we all sat in terror that we would be cut as well. not like being jobless in the summer would be the worst thing in the world...but thankfully things have returned to normal this week, and i can sit here writing instead of having to comfort tearful junior members of our staff in my office all day long.
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but things haven't been completely gloom+doom over here. there's been birthday parties (including an 'explosive' family one featuring a bbq grill fire), the acquisition of an awesome set of vinyl warrior bears, the nerve-wracking-yet-exciting start of a hunt for a new apartment, impending vacations, a new favorite snack (Tings), and a new addition to my list of favorite movies (stranger than fiction).
unfortunately, we didn't go anywhere. even more unfortunate, loveandcyanide took the break to mourn the death of our beloved little cat tigger, who after 17 years of ruling our roost, succumbed to throat cancer and diabetes (it makes me ridiculously sad when animals have human diseases). its been rather difficult - having never lost a pet before, i had no idea how hard the grieving process would be. i've probably cried more the past two weeks than i ever did for any relative that passed away, which i suppose is slightly disturbing and/or mean, but i've also never lost anyone who slept at the foot of my bed for 10 years. so in that respect i think all my carrying on is fitting. even when i was weepy in the produce aisle of shoprite and you made me wear my sunglasses, missy.
as is typical of my family, we've managed to turn tragedy into comedy to help cope, so currently there is much ado over what to do with the cat's ashes - father wants them to remain in the house, mother wants them buried in the yard in the hole father started digging weeks ago when he made a coffin (yes, coffin) for the cat. last i heard there were threats of father putting mother in the coffin and moving off to tahiti with the little urn. and here you thought i was exaggerating when i said that our cat was the most important member of the household.
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last week i also endured my first experience with layoffs. although there turned out to be only one - one very deserved one, if you ask me - there were office rumours afoot for days that there would be multiple ones, so we all sat in terror that we would be cut as well. not like being jobless in the summer would be the worst thing in the world...but thankfully things have returned to normal this week, and i can sit here writing instead of having to comfort tearful junior members of our staff in my office all day long.
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but things haven't been completely gloom+doom over here. there's been birthday parties (including an 'explosive' family one featuring a bbq grill fire), the acquisition of an awesome set of vinyl warrior bears, the nerve-wracking-yet-exciting start of a hunt for a new apartment, impending vacations, a new favorite snack (Tings), and a new addition to my list of favorite movies (stranger than fiction).
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
touching on the elements (sans fire).
i just finished reading a lengthy article in the NY Times real estate section that featured someone i graduated college with, which was a little bizarre to see. more bizarre is that the guy was a degenerate in school and is now about to become a father. most bizarre is that this is actually the second lengthy Times piece i've recently read that featured one of my classmates.
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the roosevelt island tram absolutely fascinates me. it always has - taking a ride on it has been on my daytrip to-do list forever - but now even more so as i have a great view of it from my office. so i get to stare at it all day long. which is nice, because watching a little tram float by every few minutes makes me feel like i'm in disneyworld as opposed to an office.
but notice how i said every few minutes. seriously, the tram must be the quickest mode of transportation in the city because its like the minute one arrives, the next one is already on its way in. we're in the midst of a seriously major downpour right now, and i just spotted one gliding across the sky. i guarantee the subway is screwed up due to this rain (or at the very least the N train is, since a mere snowflake sets that one off-schedule), and yet the city's sky transport is still going strong. amazing.
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speaking of amazing, we finally got around to watching the squid and the whale last night. SUCH a good movie. despite the rampant literary pretension - you would think working in publishing i'd be accepting of it. NO! it bothers me more than most other sorts of pretension - it was incredibly well-acted and just a really good story. and at less than 1.5 hours, it never dragged. then as the credits rolled we discovered that one of the leads was played by kevin kline's son. <3! we love kevin kline...
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and speaking of sea life, tomorrow is missy + bear's big day. (don't bother wishing them birthday greetings here since they won't see it. although i suppose you could wish me greetings for them, as our family used to buy both of us gifts on each other's birthday's so the non-birthday sister wouldn't feel left out...) what does that have to do with the ocean? a good third of missy's gift this year is related to the aquatic. why? as a tyke she went through a phase where she carried a dried seahorse around with her in her pocket at all times, and i just love taunting her about her peculiar little marine phase.
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the roosevelt island tram absolutely fascinates me. it always has - taking a ride on it has been on my daytrip to-do list forever - but now even more so as i have a great view of it from my office. so i get to stare at it all day long. which is nice, because watching a little tram float by every few minutes makes me feel like i'm in disneyworld as opposed to an office.
but notice how i said every few minutes. seriously, the tram must be the quickest mode of transportation in the city because its like the minute one arrives, the next one is already on its way in. we're in the midst of a seriously major downpour right now, and i just spotted one gliding across the sky. i guarantee the subway is screwed up due to this rain (or at the very least the N train is, since a mere snowflake sets that one off-schedule), and yet the city's sky transport is still going strong. amazing.
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speaking of amazing, we finally got around to watching the squid and the whale last night. SUCH a good movie. despite the rampant literary pretension - you would think working in publishing i'd be accepting of it. NO! it bothers me more than most other sorts of pretension - it was incredibly well-acted and just a really good story. and at less than 1.5 hours, it never dragged. then as the credits rolled we discovered that one of the leads was played by kevin kline's son. <3! we love kevin kline...
-----------
and speaking of sea life, tomorrow is missy + bear's big day. (don't bother wishing them birthday greetings here since they won't see it. although i suppose you could wish me greetings for them, as our family used to buy both of us gifts on each other's birthday's so the non-birthday sister wouldn't feel left out...) what does that have to do with the ocean? a good third of missy's gift this year is related to the aquatic. why? as a tyke she went through a phase where she carried a dried seahorse around with her in her pocket at all times, and i just love taunting her about her peculiar little marine phase.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
vacation, revisited.
the past few days have been rather overwhelming, due to a giant book expo and a 5-year college reunion. one of those events involved hoards of middle-aged women wielding giant tote bags, the other copious amounts of alcohol and a dorm sleepover. i'll let you guess which was which, and at which i had the most fun.
having finally recuperated, i'm ready to reveal, as promised last week, the reasons why i'd like to move to good ol' texas upon having visited it. (have no fear, i'm not actually going there unless something major necessitated it. my bangs could never handle the humidity and i'm not into driving trucks.)
1. THE BBQ - seriously, amazing. i literally wanted to snuggle in and take a nap in this batch of pulled pork i ate.
2. SONIC - the establishment taunts new york (or maybe just loveandcyanide) as its commercials play all the time here while the nearest one is in virginia. hours away! you cannot show us a banana creme pie shake featuring nilla wafers that we can't have. thankfully, texas had one about every 20 ft.
3. $850 RENT - not per person. per apartment. per gorgeous apartment my friends lived in that featured a fireplace, 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, and a community pool that looked like it was pulled from the caribbean. and what do i pay for my 750 sq. ft. box?
4. THEY SELL BACON BY THE STRIP! - oh, you don't believe me? behold the photographic evidence:
its a little fuzzy, but that whataburger sign states "bacon per slice - 0.35". we wound up at that drive-thru at about 1:30am, so you know the insane amount of willpower it took me to just snap photos and not pull away with a $2 handful of bacon.
1. THE BBQ - seriously, amazing. i literally wanted to snuggle in and take a nap in this batch of pulled pork i ate.
2. SONIC - the establishment taunts new york (or maybe just loveandcyanide) as its commercials play all the time here while the nearest one is in virginia. hours away! you cannot show us a banana creme pie shake featuring nilla wafers that we can't have. thankfully, texas had one about every 20 ft.
3. $850 RENT - not per person. per apartment. per gorgeous apartment my friends lived in that featured a fireplace, 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, and a community pool that looked like it was pulled from the caribbean. and what do i pay for my 750 sq. ft. box?
4. THEY SELL BACON BY THE STRIP! - oh, you don't believe me? behold the photographic evidence:
its a little fuzzy, but that whataburger sign states "bacon per slice - 0.35". we wound up at that drive-thru at about 1:30am, so you know the insane amount of willpower it took me to just snap photos and not pull away with a $2 handful of bacon.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
chrissy: preschool style icon/remorseful commuter.
while flipping through a magazine today, i spotted a photo of maddox (jolie-pitt), in which he is wearing a tshirt that i have. have. not had, when i was five, you know, like he is.
do you have to retire your clothes when the kindergarten set starts turning up in the them?
*******
i hate to admit it, but i think i was a little overzealous in all the excitement over my new bus stop. similar to when i purchase shoes, it appears i might have valued aesthetics over sensibility.
as the sun bore down through the clear glass roofing the other day, i couldn't help but remember, wistfully, that i never used to sweat at the bus stop, as the old shelter provided shade. and as it poured yesterday morning and i got soaked stepping on the bus, i recalled the good old days when the bus shelter covering used to extend to the curb, so one could step dryly on to the bus.
damn you, pretty-but-useless phenomenon.
do you have to retire your clothes when the kindergarten set starts turning up in the them?
*******
i hate to admit it, but i think i was a little overzealous in all the excitement over my new bus stop. similar to when i purchase shoes, it appears i might have valued aesthetics over sensibility.
as the sun bore down through the clear glass roofing the other day, i couldn't help but remember, wistfully, that i never used to sweat at the bus stop, as the old shelter provided shade. and as it poured yesterday morning and i got soaked stepping on the bus, i recalled the good old days when the bus shelter covering used to extend to the curb, so one could step dryly on to the bus.
damn you, pretty-but-useless phenomenon.
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