Friday, February 29, 2008

on what day of the year can we celebrate the neutron dance?

i'm finding it humorous that the minute i started reading an article on leap day, the pointer sister's song "jump" got stuck in my head.

when we were kids, missy and i used to get up on the couch whenever this song would come on the radio. then as the pointer sisters sang the chorus, the loveandcyanide sisters would jump off the couch, scramble back on, and repeat the cycle every time they sang that magical word.

i am certain my parents and the people who lived below us on the second floor must have loved this little show we put on.

happy leap day!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

new excuses for not picking up your phone.

my father called me earlier, which isn't too surprising as he left me a message last night and i never called him back, and when that happens then typically missy or i receive a call the next morning to make sure we're alive and well.

my father's phonecalls, as i'm pretty sure we have mentioned before, while made out of care and concern (and while we laugh/complain to each other about them, we know we're lucky to have this and do truly appreciate this) usually are somewhat pointless/ridiculous. his small talk kind of fascinates me, as in a 5-minute conversation to find out how his daughter is, he'll never once actually ask me how i am. i complained about that fact to him last week, and still, these were today's topics during our brief chat:

1. how cold it is today. (ok, a pretty standard parental concern, that you're dressing warmly...although i am a functioning adult, on the verge of 28 years old)

2. my thoughts on/general speculation about whether or not missy knew it would be so cold out today, and if she dressed for such cold. (considering i did not see missy this morning, something he was aware of, nor am i missy or inside missy's head, i had no response for this one)

3. valerie bertinelli. (i gave up)

new excuses for lateness!

i spotted this health ad on the subway today (the following advice was accompanied by a photo of some nasty looking, pollen coated little plant):

pollen counts are highest between 5am and 10am.
stay indoors if you can.

so come april, i suppose my work arrival time will be sometime around noon.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

what's playing.

when i first heard about vampire weekend i got all excited about the vampire part of the band name, how fun it is, imagine a weekend with a bunch of musical vampires?!, blahblah. i of course never got around to listening to them, and in the past weeks got all caught up in the hype/backlash/constant buzz about the band and wound up resorting to my "you're overexposed and so now i hate you" stance with them (cutesy name and images and all).

after an accidental listen i got hooked...andddd i've been enjoying the vampires all week now.


two other entries in the "music i'm into this week" category:

the raveonette's "aly, walk with me" - puts me in the mood for a tarantino movie marathon.

bob mould's "again and again" - the lyrics kinda make you want to cut your heart out and put it in a cabinet (i mean that in the nicest way possible).

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

going bananas.

i hadn't noticed it, but i guess i've been eating a lot of bananas lately.

mother donated a bunch to me, and then whilst grocery shopping the other week i picked some more up, since i knew a wisdom teeth extraction was on my horizon and i'd probably want a soft fruit around. and then the following week my mouth still felt a little tender, and so i bought more bananas...

but i wasn't aware of all this. until today, one of our interns was in my office, and a banana, my future breakfast, was sitting on my desk, and the girl said to me "you really like bananas, huh?"

which means that i am now the creepy banana girl and i can't have any more until july.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

odd couple of the week.

this week's award goes to....

donny osmond and martin lawrence.

two men i didn't think my brain could ever associate together.

which is why i thought my 2+ plus weeks on antibiotics, decongestants, painkillers, and beyond* was finally catching up with me, and that i was hallucinating this morning when the below poster caught my eye as i walked to work. was that...donny osmond behind that pig in the front seat? noooo....but yes, after extensive research i discovered that these two are indeed starring in a movie together.

i almost want to see it (that could very well be all the meds talking).

*don't worry readers! i'm not trying to off myself. the sinus infection ran its course into last weekend's wisdom teeth removal - fun, fun times over here lately - and a wide variety of medicines needed to be prescribed to bring my face back to normal (which should happen by sometime in march). i of course checked with my regular physician before taking all of them at once, since, you know, to quote the recent advice from my office sage, "heath ledger and all".

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

thoughts on karaoke.

i don't karaoke very much - not because i'm against it (although you most definitely do not want to hear one of the ___ sisters attempt to hit a high note), but i just generally don't seem to find myself in karaoking situations.

however i did this past sunday, when we had an outing for a friend's bday, and as luck would have it, the bar that she picked due to its amazing jukebox was having a karaoke night (amazing jukebox was therefore turned off). now as i said, i'm not an expert on the field since i don't do it very much, but the few times i have done it, the exact same slightly annoying/baffling things have occurred.

1. the evening started off with a girl's rendition of celine dion's "it's all coming back to me now". WHY would you pick this song? does anyone really want to listen to celine dion in a bar (besides my mother)? the rest of us can't sing along to it, or drunkenly dance around to it, and frankly, its a downer. no one wants to listen to depressing songs when they're drinking*. so that leads me to believe that the only reason she picked the song is because she sings it well.

which is my 2. she did sing it well; she hit every single note - which is great for her and all - but shouldn't karaoke be about the rest of us? the great equalizer for the general populace who can't hit the high notes, who can only harmonize well to songs by the ramones and young mc**? if you can sing that well you don't need to be singing to a bunch of wasted bar patrons, who will cheer you on simply because you did an inspired little jig to "rebel yell". you should be trying out for american idol, where i imagine the judges will better appreciate your lovely voice and your sissy little ballads.

*have you ever been intoxicated at a coldplay concert? yeah...weeping ensues.

**"bust a move" is a song that missy and i are convinced we can handle, along with salt-n-pepa's "shoop". we won't even need the teleprompter for that one.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

holiday greetings.

as we all know, today is valentine's day.

as we all might not know, today is also ferris wheel day.

years back i discovered this, and never one to care much about V-day*, whether single or in a relationship, i fully embraced the fact that i could celebrate another holiday - a more entertaining-sounding holiday - instead. i managed to get a couple of friends on the ferris wheel bandwagon, and there's been a select little group of us celebrating the holiday ever since.

so where am i going with this, since i make it a point not to talk about my personal life on here? well, i'm making a slight exception today, since i have time on my hands and a holiday story** that i've always felt warranted a little commemorative spot on the internet.


it was 2 years ago, february 14th. i was single, missy was single, and a good friend of mine (A., for the remainder of the story) was single, and so we plotted for a night out boozing. A. and i met up first at this bar downtown and settled down at the bar. by the second drink, we had made friends with the bartender as well as this guy, Jose, who was sitting on the other side of A. (an apparent regular at the bar), and were all chatting. during this time, another guy, we'll call him the musician because the fact that he was one factors prominently in this tale (and i forgot his name, sadly), settled in to the right of me, and before long was swept up in our conversation.

well, by the time missy arrived at the bar a little later, our group had become BFF - taking pictures together, swapping war stories, etcetc. missy joined right in on the fun, and even wound up sketching a picture on a napkin for the musician. the musician wound up taking a bit of a liking to me, and so when i revealed my belief in ferris wheel day, he promised that he would perform a ferris wheel day song for me, if a little later on we would accompany him to this open mic shindig he was going to. we agreed, and so at some point later there we all were, traipsing to this other bar to watch this complete stranger sing a song about ferris wheels to me.

and he did. and i know you're sitting there saying "oh cliché! girl falls for boy who can sing to her". but frankly, i'm not the sort of girl you sing to -- i find that more creepy than cute, and i'd probably snicker at you the entire time. and so i wasn't completely entranced and blinded by the promise of this song, but i must admit when the time came i was quite pleased to be serenaded with a tune about a basically fake holiday that this guy just found out about a few hours early but would sing about it simply because i had immense enthusiasm for it.

fast forward to later in the evening, bar #3 - our little group of strangers is finally disbanding and missy goes to hail us a cab. as i'm saying my little goodbyes to the musician (i.e., drunkenly making out on the corner) and as he was without cell phone for the night, he had me write my number on his hand. getting into the cab i knew that number would not be legible after a few minutes and so i chalked it up to an interesting february 14th and mentally bade him well.


2 days later, i come home from work and there is a message on our answering machine in our apartment - and its the musician. the musician who i gave my cell phone number to. turns out, as i predicted, the number rubbed off his hand, and dismayed and wracking his brain to figure out how to find me, remembered that missy had signed her name on the little drawing on the napkin that she had done for him. once procuring my last name from the napkin, he looked me up in the hopes i was listed - and so i was. and we made a date to hang out that weekend.

this was one of those stories that made my friends swoon. everyone was eager to find out what romantically ridiculous thing would happen next.

and wouldn't you know - nothing. day-of supposed date, i didn't hear from him. and never since.

but at least i got a pretty great ferris wheel day story.


*except for conversation hearts. i really really like those.

**this story was originally meant to be included in a 2006 roundup of loveandcyanide's ridiculous experiences with men, since '06 was a year that was fraught with such experiences, and missy was working on a humorous month-by-month account of the nonsense. this would've been the february story. of course we got sidetracked and missy never finished it and just wound up stopping her contributions to the site altogether, and so here i am writing this giant post two years later.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

a snowy, fruity, fantastic voyage.

4 things i am loving today:

  1. SNOW! - i won't be excited when i walk outside in it in my non-snow-appropriate shoes, but it has looked really pretty coming down outside my window all day long. it finally feels like winter.
  2. Yogi Tea, "Breathe Deep" variety - yes, i'm the dork who buys tea that claims it can help you breathe better. but it really does. and it also leaves a nice tingly feeling in your mouth.
  3. Mutant Grapes - well, not really. but this bunch i'm snacking on are the largest green grapes i've ever seen. if disguised in a purplish wrap, they would totally pass for figs.
  4. Coolio's new online cooking show - needs no explanation.

Friday, February 08, 2008

week, end. please.

i've mentioned the receptionist in my office before - a sweet lady, but slightly incompetent/something's a little off.

and if you'll recall from my 'award-winning cough' era in late 2006 (boy that statement makes loveandcyanide feel old!), she's always taken an interest in my health and well-being.


so yesterday i had to leave early for a doctor's appt as i was still languishing in illnessville from earlier in the week (diagnosis: sinus infection. thank goodness for antibiotics and their ability to make the bass that was pounding in my face stop). in my office, people tend to send around a company-wide "hey, i'm leaving early" or "hey, i'm out sick/coming in late/etc" email, which i sort of hate doing because it makes me feel like i'm soliciting "feel better!" emails when i'm just making a statement about where i'm off to, and i honestly don't care for everyone to know about my business and whereabouts to begin with, but i suppose it makes life easier in terms of knowing that someone isn't at their desk in the case that you need them (of course this doesn't prevent some idiot, usually the same idiot, leaving a voicemail saying "hey, where are you??").


so i send my little "i'm off to the doctor - see ya tomorrow" email and off i go. when i finally get back to my apartment last night and check through the emails i missed, as predicted, i have a few nice "feel better!" responses. topping them all, topping any email i received in the past month, is the response from my receptionist. i reprint it here in full, because my summarizing it won't do it justice:

I lucked out at not getting sick this year: Here is my unsolicited, non professional medical advice:

I eat beans and brown rice -no pork- about 3 days out of the week
I eat pea soup - home made- 2 days out of the week
I eat grapefruits and/or oranges 5-6 days out of the week during the winter (a new strategy that's working! makes me think of Florida and California when I eat them!)

I eat a lot of baked potatoes - i have no idea what that does - probably keeps me away from the ice cream.

I take a multi vitamin, iron and calcium and hair, skin and nail vitamins. Ask your real doctor about these. Heath Ledger and all, ask the real doctor before taking any of these!

I take 2 10 minute walks 5 days a week. I weight train twice a week for half an hour. I squeeze in an aerobic video tape when I think of it.

There are a lot of foods that tempt me! Some days I give in. Some days I don't. On those days I try to do an aerobic video tape or take a longer walk.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

what to do about forwards.

i don't know why i thought the whole email forward thing was a teen fad, and that once i was an 'adult' in the 'real world' that my inbox would stop getting clogged with these things. no. in the past hour i've received three.

and its not like i don't care about the potential new computer virus, the little girl with cancer or the child who has been missing since 2006 - its just that i do not for one second believe that me passing along a message about it to everyone i've ever known is going to do ANYTHING about it.

am i wrong in thinking this? just being my cynical, bitchy self? and if not, why the hell am i surrounded by so many people who can't see it the same way? i love one of my aunts dearly, but if i get one more of these inane emails passed along from her i'm going to be forced to block her email address.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

balancing act.

forgive us for slacking in the writing dept, but loveandcyanide has been under-the-weather this week.

and while being apt-ridden the past two days during crappy rainy february may kinda sound like fun, believe me, it was not. our internet decided to cease working and due to throat pain/the fact that i sound pretty much just like patty or selma from the simpsons (you can choose), chatting on the phone wasn't an option either. and so left with little ability to interact with the outside world, and with feeling like absolute crap, and with just being generally frustrated with a varied mix of people/places/things in my life, i threw about 19 temper tantrums in the past 36 hours. its been a blast.

but, as the universe is wont to balance itself out, there have been a few bits of wonderfulness from the past few days...

  • waitress*
  • slathering bananas in nutella when missy wasn't home to yell at me for eating bananas in the apartment
  • puppy bowl IV (and the kitty half time show too!)
  • the occasional small-town charm of dive-y Staten Island bars, and the old men that frequent them
  • learning to like soup
  • the last few chapters of the united states of arugula
  • brand new pajamas that i need to wait until its warm out to wear
  • eddie izzard tickets!

*really, i wasn't expecting much at all from this movie and it was just lovely.

Friday, February 01, 2008

showers wash all my cares away.

as my NYC readers will know, its pouring out today.

whenever it rains, i get the song i love a rainy night by eddie rabbitt stuck in my head. i was a huge fan of the tune as a kid, and i can vividly remember bouncing around our apartment to it. this morning i tracked it down online, and have listened to it about 20x already in an attempt to reverse the effects that this super dreary day had been having on me.

it's working. and i've also come to the realization that i really really really enjoy songs that involve finger snapping.