Friday, September 29, 2006

file under creepy/unnecessary.

what are these? who the hell comes up with this stuff?

and why why WHY would anyone want their infant to have hair like donald trump or lil' kim?

Thursday, September 28, 2006

waiting for dexter.

i'm not an astrology nut - when i was 12 i was "dumped" on what Teen Magazine had deemed my "lucky love day" for the month, and i gave up on the zodiac predictions right then and there - but i do believe in the traits attributed to each sign. i'm a pisces, which is symbolized by two fish swimming in the opposite direction. so along with my love of water, my life is often categorized by opposites and contradictions.

one of the major ones is that i get scared very, VERY, easily -- as a 9-year-old i was almost too afraid to go into the haunted house in disney world. i can't watch scary movies. i can't even look at the covers of the cases of horror movies at the video store lest i get nightmares from the pictures. the second the lights go off i assume something is going to come out of my closet and attack me. i'm horrible at staying home by myself. i have a super-active imagination, and the moment something minorly macabre pops into my brain, it manifests itself into a horror flick with me as its panic-stricken star. its actually pathetic. -- yet i have a huge fascination with serial killers.

i always have. its ridiculous that i can be so curious about the most disturbing members of society when i'm too afraid to watch something like "the lost boys" by myself. you know what one of my top fears is? it's not getting hit by a bus. it's not flying. it's not heights. it's getting eaten alive by rats. clearly i've spent too much time reading and watching the actions of the demented murdering set.

so suffice to say, i'm super-excited for the new series Dexter, which starts this sunday on showtime. i hope its not all gore and torture, and that they actually delve into his mind and motivations and all, but i have faith in the channel for a decent plot line. although i imagine this means i won't be getting much sleep for the next few months.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

well, it starts out lovely...

the good:
rumour has it that mcdonald's is going to start serving breakfast all day long. FINALLY!! i can't even count the number of times that loveandcyanide has woken up at 11:01am on a weekend morning, hungover as all hell, wanting, craving, needing for survival, some mickey d's breakfast, knowing that we were a bit too late. 11 was entirely too early to end breakfast - for the elderly its not, but c'mon, mcgriddles weren't made with your grandma in mind. i'm glad the hamburgler and crew are coming to their senses.

the bad:
i've decided that i'm no longer going to be friendly towards the surly cashiers at our local c-town. i always go out of my way to say "thanks! have a good night" when handed my receipt, and it never fails that the sullen teen cashier just stares me down as though i insulted her diamond nameplate.

the ugly:
we suddenly realized this evening that we don't know what guys wear when they go tanning** (a scene from MTV's "Made" prompted this, but we're from staten island, so a conversation like this is to be expected) - completely clueless, never even pondered it before. so we took an impromptu poll of a few males we know, and learned that they either go naked, or with a sock covering their important bits. a sock in the tanning bed. does that thin layer of cotton really offer much protection? can a penis really get tanned anyways? what about tan lines? my mind is reeling. and i don't know what baffles me more - this whole sock factor, or that we were able to take such a poll in less than 4 minutes.

**note: only 1/2 of loveandcyanide condones fake tanning by males. it's not me.**

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Fall like a drag queen day.

although tuesday was talk like a pirate day, that did not satisfy my childlike need for random celebrations and i took it upon myself to create my own holiday this friday.

armed with the prerequisite 3inch green lizard platforms i embarked on my private party to honor my personal favorite gender group, the queens.

after one failed attempt at a drag-esque heel flop (caught by unsuspecting, uncelebratory boyfriend) i regrouped and found the PERFECT opportunity.

a nice flop on the sidewalk, 2am, in Queens(natch*), while carrying a tray of McD's drinks, which in fact i did not spill, even as i hit the ground with all the weight and grace of a man in a one-piece (madonna) jumpsuit and platform heels.

thank you.

weekend realizations.

saturdays are apparently a very popular day at the local stop & shop. there was a wait for a shopping cart. seriously. have you ever been to a supermarket where a plastic/metal cart wasn't waiting in a neat row at your disposal? well today it was a few minute wait just to be able to wheel your groceries around. the impatient ladies we are, we grabbed a couple of baskets, and upon reaching the "international aisle", where we were snagging cans of black beans, we realized we were a tad too hasty in making our decision. i imagine my biceps will be protesting in the morning.

arrested development remains the best show (not! argh!) on television. having not watched our series dvd's in awhile, we forgot how much we loved/resembled the bluth family. after a short marathon this evening, we realized just how much we've been missing their unique/vaguely familiar dysfunctionality.

our family cat, tigger, is by far the favorite child. our father's parting line via instant messenger this afternoon: "i'll talk to you later. cat needs lunch."

anthony rapp (of rent and dazed & confused fame) is one of those creepy/annoying actors that you can never seem to escape.

we might have a (teensy) online shopping problem. we managed to spend missy's entire first paycheck this afternoon without ever leaving our beds. however, we'd like to point out that although we managed to purchase three pair of shoes within a 15 minute window, we also spent on a good chunk of the check on a birthday present for someone other than ourselves. such selflessness.

Friday, September 22, 2006

making the dentist proud.

having agonized all week long over which dental plan to opt for with my new insurance, and finally half-heartedly deciding on spending more money to stay with my old plan and dentist, i was quite pleased to have had a moment of divine intervention today that assured me i made the right decision.

as i was waiting on the subway platform, rocking out to some new tunes, i suddenly realized that someone was invading my 3 feet of personal space. i turned slightly to my left to see what the problem was and saw this relatively normal looking man, staring at me and apparently speaking to me. i took off my headphones (the things i wear to prevent people from speaking to me), and figuring he was asking me directions (seriously, i get stopped for directions about twice a day. something about me clearly screams "tourist information center".) asked him where he needed to go. he looked at me strangely and said "i said, can i give you a compliment?" so of course having never before been asked if i would allow a compliment - don't most men just shout them at you while you walk on by, whether you like them or not? - my brain didnt compute the sentence and i said "what?" and he repeated the question. so i said "um, sure. thanks" and he told me how attractive he thought i was. i smiled and thanked him and he then said "oh my god, and you have such great teeth."

my teeth elicited an oh my god. thank goodness i'm sticking with my dentist.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

in need of noise-cancelling headphones.

so despite the rampant joy that talk like a pirate day inflicted on my life (and yours too, i hope), this week has been rather unlucky for us here in loveandcyanide land. missy almost had a 2-day job interview that included an all-expense paid trip to that fabulous land of glamour, L.A...almost. as per the usual, glitz and glory somehow morphed into chaos and the sudden dropping of a client from a recruiting service. we're still trying to comprehend it all.

i managed to start my new job this week without nearly as much turmoil - however, as luck would have it i found myself in the cube next to panic at the disco's biggest fan.
now, from a previous arson-friendly posting you should know how we feel about this band, so its clear that i would rather have hannibal lecter as my cube-mate. and i can now assure our dear readers who had previously inquired about patd's full album that i indeed hate it, as i've listened to it the full way through a good four or five times by now. it finally hit me this afternoon that the lead singer sounds like he is whining for you to get out of the bathroom before he wets his pants. you know that voice? (sure i haven't heard it since the 3rd grade either, but some things just stick with you). i've actually gotten to the point where i am no longer hearing the song lyrics, just "pleaassseee i neeeedd to goooo nowwww" in the whingiest voice imaginable over and over and over again to the beat. its just that bad.

you think i'm exaggerating my situation with the panicky insanity, here is a daily tally of the times i've been subjected to that horrible popular song of theirs (this is not counting the other songs - just the one that makes my ears shrivel in distaste and evokes visions of tossing the fax machine at this girl's head computer):

monday: 2
tuesday: 3
wednesday: 5

i am somewhat afraid of what friday will bring.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

it's my favorite day of the yarr!

happy talk like a pirate day!

i should have sent you all these piratical wishes earlier in the day, but alas, the new job isn't allowing much time for daytime typing. those wretched landlubbers...

Thursday, September 14, 2006

the mid-september hit list.

some of our latest obsessions:

scissor sisters' i don't feel like dancin'.
the sisters are one of our favorite bands and the first single from their latest cd (which hits stores i believe on the 26th...cannot wait) is just pure discolicious goodness. this is the sort of song that makes you want to turn cartwheel
s through a field of dancing tulips and shimmy around with animated puppies and kittens.

the mystery guest by gregoire bouillier.
i go through books the way tony soprano goes through bowls of ice cream, and this little gem is one of the recent best.

Snyder's hot buffalo wing pretzel pieces.
why didn't someone come up with these sooner? (or why didn't our local grocery stores start carrying them sooner..) crispy pretzel bites dusted in hot sauce. all the joy of a buffalo wing, without dealing with the bones. and now finally vegetarians can partake in the fun! in the snack food realm, these little guys are gods.


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

dining out with loveandcyanide.

wasted and eating chinese food:

missy: this chicken tastes just like popcorn!
chrissy: actually, its beef.
missy: oh. hmm.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

yea on the catwalk. on the catwalk yea.

a few firsts from the past few days:

first cat-warming. so you wonder what a cat-warming entails? (hee) a fair amount of alcohol, including a bottle of wine called "pink" that is in fact pink sparkling wine. a bunch of friends. and a new feline, who cares little about meeting the guests who are there to celebrate her, and instead attempts to climb up the fireplace in the living room.

first fashion show. fun times on saturday night with the fashion crowd, a hip-hop mogul, and a few tween stars. especially when, for the show's finale, models wielding fake machine guns shot blanks into the crowd, minorly injuring a few of the spectators in the front row. fake gun injuries, confetti AND an open redbull & vodka was almost too much excitement for me to handle.

first fruit-fly infestation. an aunt who doesn't eat a piece of fruit of day + a grandmother who buys fruits by the bushel = excess fruit in house = a feast for those pesky fruity flies. a swarm took up residence, harassing poor aunt all weekend. when said swarm decided to take a breather on the glass sliding doors, stealthy aunt saw an opportunity for retaliation. armed with ant spray, she wildly doused the glass doors, massacring the entire fly brigade at once. i only wish my insect-killing skills had come from this side of the family.

first time we saw ourselves on tv.
well...not quite. but the scene in last night's episode of Weeds where Celia is screaming "be my friend!" at Nancy while pulling her hair is the closest anyone has ever come to capturing missy and i interacting. impressive.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


things that are perplexing me on this fine morning:

1. i heard on the radio earlier (Z100, natch. i think i'm actually enjoying the aural smut in the mornings at this point) that Kristin Cavallari will be the topic of this sunday's
E! True Hollywood Story. WHY?? she hasn't even been on this earth for 20 many fascinating feats could she have possibly accomplished? not that i've ever watched a whole episode of THS, but i believe in the olde days they used to focus on actual hollywood stars. upon further investigation i found out more information on the show - a. she will be sharing the episode with Mischa Barton , and b. and i quote "get the inside scoop about what it's like to lose one's virginity in the ninth grade and experiment with a lesbian." amazing! now it totally makes sense for kristin's story to be told to the world. i lost my virginity in the __th grade, i have no idea what it would've been like to have lost it in the ninth grade.

2. a client of mine who is located in virginia sent an email to us professional folk he deals with here in nyc, letting us know he survived Hurricane Ernesto. the valediction he used for this email? "love, david". i've never received a "love" in a work-related email we think he'll be offended when my reply is ended with the slightly colder "best regards"?

3. children wheeling their bookbags. every school year i get all bent out of shape about this phenomenon, and this morning on my walk to the train as i passed by handfuls of kids with their bags-on-wheels i found myself becoming all shades of agitated. what the hell is a third grader carrying that he can't handle putting the sack on his back?? my generation handled backpacks (sure i was 17 and doing back exercises on my kitchen wall deemed necessary by a chiropractor who said my spine or whatever is back there was slightly leaning from always carrying a schoolbag on my left shoulder. but that was merely b/c only the 'losers' carried their bags with both straps whilst the cool kids casually flung it over one arm. as i am more mature now, i'm not advocating such schoolbag carelessness.) - these kids are going to grow up vastly weaker. plus those bags take up so much space. i wouldn't be surprised if they have to start expanding schoolyards just to accommodate all the students plus their luggage.


note: this should have been posted yesterday morning, so now we have a number 4. blogger beta is a malfunctioning beast and refuses to work in my office. what gives?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Panic! Fire and the return of the lost sister..

If i saw Panic! At the Disco walking down the street i would dowse them in gasoline and light a match, then yell Panic! on the street.

Thus marks the miraculous and long awaited return of Missy to land of cyanide (minus love, at the moment).