Wednesday, November 28, 2007

being picky.

one of my major pet peeves is when someone says to me, "i KNOW you're going to love this" and i don't. in fact, sometimes i absolutely hate it, and i will therefore forever slightly despise that person for thinking i'd "love" whatever person/place/thing it is, because clearly that means that they have no idea who i am. (PH, i feel like you'll comment on this - please note that i'm disregarding the fact that many times i just purposely rebel against something when someone tries a little too hard to make me like it; i'm not referring to such instances).

an example of the aforementioned is the movie donnie darko.

on the other hand, sometimes someone gets it just right, and i absolutely adore the thing that they are telling me i will.

like so.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

pondering the boundaries of small talk.

the elevator at my place of work has been broken for the past 2 days (not like its usual level of operation ever seems to be more than a mere cable away from broken), which is turning into a bit of a nuisance. one would say "take the stairs, since you haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks", and i would, happily, as i'm only on the third floor. however, our stairwell is something out of a horror movie - i'm not exaggerating, its narrow and dank with little alcoves where someone could hide..they could seriously film Saw 76 in there - and when i have no choice but to use them, i run down as though my life depended on it. if there's a camera (or surveillance alarm clock) in the area, i'm certain security gets quite the laugh when i flee down the stairs.

so with the stairs a life-threatening option, our only other choice right now is the service elevator. which moves much faster (read: normal elevator speed) than our usual one, so that's nice; but it also services the entire apartment building we're connected to, and thus takes awhile to get back down from floor 25. which means a longer wait time than usual. which means, getting to know your building neighbors.

so i've seen this guy in the elevator before - he works on the floor below us, and is always super chatty with coworkers of mine. as i've never been formally introduced to him as i've only nodded in agreement while he talked to others i was standing with, nor am i much of an "elevator chat-ter" in general, when i saw him approaching i did my usual "hi, we're both waiting for the elevator" smile but didn't make any overtures towards conversation. he immediately did.

which was fine. at first. he introduced himself, asked how long i've been working here, commented on the current elevator situation, the weather - it was your totally normal morning small-talk between two strangers. then we segued into uncharted territory:

chatty guy: you know, its always so nice to meet new people, especially since new york is such a big place.
chrissy: oh, i know.
c.g.: i mean, i've been here for 10 years already and its still so hard for me to make friends.
chrissy (to self): isn't there a big difference between "meeting new people in an elevator" and "making friends"?
chrissy (aloud): yea, that can be difficult sometimes.
c.g.: especially friends to hang out with on the weekends.
chrissy (to self): is he suggesting i become a weekend friend?
chrissy (aloud): mm-hmm.
c.g.: you know, it can get very lonely in this city...
elevator door opens on c.g.'s floor. he steps out. chrissy rejoices.
chrissy: have a good one!

while i don't necessarily think he was angling for a space on my weekend agenda, if he had been, why on earth would he take the "i'm so lonely, i have no friends" route? since when did personal relationship issues (well, or lack thereof) become fodder for elevator talk? save it for therapy! and people wonder why i err on the side of silence. maybe now i need to work on my "i'm a bad listener" face...

Monday, November 26, 2007

the search is over.

at some point last spring my alarm clock broke. he was just your basic clock radio - am/fm, by sony, a matte silver cube - that i believe i had since college. and while i usually tire of objects i look at daily (bedspreads, coats, toothbrush holders) after about 2 years, for some reason i never had the urge to replace this one. he was serviceable, and just sat on my nightstand, blending in nicely in four different bedrooms and waking me every morning. and so the years passed and i took for granted that i had, i suppose, the perfect alarm clock.

fast forward to earlier today - about 8 months after my old clock broke - and there i was, still hunting for an alarm clock. yes, i know...what is my problem? everyone i have complained to about this - most especially the lucky few who've had the added privilege of waking up to the ms. pac-man theme song blaring from my cell phone - have asked me the same question. and frankly, i don't know. i went from having the same clock for about 7 years as i couldn't care less about it, to needing the absolute most perfect alarm clock in the universe, one that was just born to fit in with the decor of my bedroom. and there were just so many options - do i want to wake up to my ipod? the radio? a buzzer? do i go with aesthetics or function? should it be whimsical or minimalist? do i want it to "moo" me awake? project numbers on my ceiling? tell me the weather? videotape me?** do i want my alarm clock to roll around the room, or fly through the air? and on and on and on.

it's been a most arduous search. which is why i am positively giddy that about an hour ago, i stumbled upon exactly what i think i was looking for. the stars must have all been in alignment today as it mixes style and function all in one adorable limited-edition package; it's a piece of art as much as it is a device to wake me in the morning. eureka!

i now must sit in ridiculous anticipation until it arrives. as my dear little clock is coming via canadian post, i have no idea how long this will take. i'm assuming the canadian mail system is up to snuff, but hearing the phrase "canadian post" i can't help but think it's going to show up by horse sometime in '08.

**discovering that there are "surveillance" alarm clocks out there - and not just one kind. many. - has scared the hell out of me.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

giving thanks.

we've had a lot of excitement this past week, but as its thanksgiving eve i figured i'd let those thrilling tales of adventure slide in favor of something more festive. so in the spirit of the holiday, the things loveandcyanide are currently thankful for (in no particular order):
  • anesthesiologists
  • Richard Lewis comedy specials
  • father's prowess when it comes to fixing vacuum cleaners
  • Tums
  • living in a pet-free environment
  • nana's stockpile of extra kitchen tools
  • the one gray sweater we own that is family-gathering appropriate
  • our neighborhood
  • nurses who know how to help a pair of spastic sisters who do not know how to properly put on their hospital gowns

and last, but certainly not least, YOU! our dear readers. happy turkey day everyone.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

i tried. no, seriously. i did.

in the spirit of being economical, my friend and i decided to have a "cheap night". it was wonderful...and then it backfired.

and so, i present, you know you are in no shape to take the train home by yourself when:

a. you are entirely too preoccupied with the rats running around the subway. (note: your ipod may be broken, your cell phone out-of-service at the station, and the book you're reading contains print entirely too small to see after ___ glasses of wine - so really, you have no other choice. right.)

b. you put on your glasses, so you can more closely see the subway rats.

c. when a rat climbs up a on a rail (aside: what's up with the 3rd rail? how is it electrified and "dangerous" when birds and rodents alight on it constantly?) and gets a little higher than the rest of the rats, you actually hope, no really, you hope, that he hops on the platform and runs near you so you can pet him. (note: this may perhaps signify that you are still, 7 months later, not over the death of your first pet cat, tigger, and need a furry little presence in your life. pronto.)

d. upon waiting 25 minutes and having to let two R trains pass you by - and cursing yourself that you used to live off the R train, but now insisted on moving closer to astoria's other train, the "more convenient N" - you finally step on to an N train, and you discover its heading downtown. in the complete opposite direction of your home.

and so, you find yourself climbing the subway stairs to the street to hail a cab, 40 minutes later and 1 stop further into manhattan than you started, and you realize why you spend a good 30% of your salary taking taxis home. its simply so that you make it to your 28th birthday.

Sunday, November 11, 2007


things i've learned this weekend:

- missy and i can walk a dog.

- i know every single word to tears for fears "everybody wants to rule the world".

that if a glass pepper shaker breaks due to banging it repeatedly on a tabletop, the pepper will remain in a neat conical formation on the table while the glass shards fly all about.

- because i said so is the absolute worst movie ever made. holy cow.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

in waffles we trust.

since we're all in a waffletastic mood after yesterday's post, i figured i'd continue the thread. so here are some awesome factoids* about all things battered and griddled:

mark your calendars, kiddies!

International Waffle Day (March 25) -

originated in Sweden where it is called VĂ„ffeldagen. It occurs nine months to the day before Christmas - the day the Archangel Gabriel told the Virgin Mary that she was pregnant. (ed. note: really?! so waffles are some how connected to Jesus' birth? huh, i might have to stop considering myself a lapsed catholic...)

As the holiday progressed, it also began to commemorate the first day of spring. Waffles come into play because on March 25th the women of Sweden would set aside their winter tasks like chopping wood and knitting, and began their spring tasks... the most notable of which was preparing waffles.

National Waffle Day (August 24) -

is the anniversary of the first U.S. patent for a waffle iron. Cornelius Swarthout of Troy, New York received his patent for a "device to bake waffles" in 1869. His early waffle iron was used in conjunction with coal stoves, consisted of a griddle and a cover and required flipping of the device to cook both sides of the waffle. At present, National Waffle Day is at best a "bizarre" or "unique" holiday" - the fluff stuff of radio DJ commentary. Waffle promotions at some restaurant chains have helped to keep the holiday alive, if only barely. (ed. note: not anymore! loveandcyanide has found its champion cause - keep national waffle day alive)

The History of the Waffle

13th Century A.C. - Ancient Greeks cook flat cakes between two metal plates. These early waffles were called obleios and were primarily savory in nature, prepared with cheeses and herbs.

1620 - The pilgrims bring Dutch "wafles" to America.

1735 - The word "waffle" - with two "f"s - appears in English print for the first time.

Late 1800's - Thomas Jefferson returns to the U.S. from France with a long handled, patterned waffle iron. (ed. note: oh tommy, is there anything you couldn't do??)

1869 - Cornelius Swarthout patents the first U.S. Waffle Iron.

1953 - Frank Dorsa's Eggo Frozen Waffles are sold in Supermarkets for the first time.

1964-65 - Brussels restaurateur Maurice Vermersch brings his wife's Brussels Waffle recipe to the World's Fair in New York. The fluffy yeast-infused waffle becomes a huge hit and becomes known as the Belgium waffle.

*factoids courtesy of - quite possibly my new favorite website.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

oh, hello!

it was brought to my attention today that a belgian waffle (spelled the authentic way of "wafel", but as i'm only a stupid american, i can continue to spell it the waffle house way) truck is making its way around nyc. excitement!


i do apologize that this little PSA only affects the 1/4 of our readers who are located here in the city, but i wanted to make sure that the both of you were aware of this little yellow waffle-scented gem making its way around our streets. and honestly, if i ran the world, there would be waffle trucks in every city. one for every single one of the earth's inhabitants, even.

Monday, November 05, 2007

my own brand of quality-assurance testing.

having been harassed and harassed and harassed by gigantic, noisy, gross and utterly distracting flies throughout the past few months in my office, i say with great pride that i finally got my chance at revenge today.

after a good hour or so of pestering me, the little beast du jour was taking a breather from his cacophonous flight and had perched behind me on my cork board.
while typically paralyzed with fear in such a moment, today i miraculously managed to spring into action. i grabbed the largest manuscript i could find - no offense to the author, but this will actually be the greatest feat that that piece of work will ever achieve - and walloped the little pest so forcefully that pushpins went flying and the whole bulletin board almost came down. i daresay the fly blood stain will remain on my office wall for a very long time.

i spent the remainder of the afternoon with a smug little grin on my face, filled with a ridiculous amount of satisfaction. which made me wonder - if killing bugs can fill me with such a larger sense of pride than writing a press release does, should i just become an exterminator?


and on a side note after discussing destruction, i'd just like to give a shout out to ralph lauren, for making extremely high quality eyeglasses. i full-out sat on my glasses for about the thirtieth time this morning - it really baffles me how out of every square inch of my bed my bottom consistently finds the one little patch where my glasses are laying - and nary a crack in them. and i can't count the times i've
let them spend an entire day banging around in my purse without their case or knocked them off my dresser or threw something (like my cell phone, from, um, across the room) that happened to land smack on top of them and thought to myself "oh crap. that's it"...but no, they are still going strong. this is indestructible eyewear, people. i won't try dropping them from my fifth floor apartment window until i have a new pair in my possession, but i think that's what it's coming to.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

i'm on all the wrong mailing lists.

when the hell did wendy's start a breakfast menu?! upon entering, i was greeted with a poster for the breakfast frescuit (literally, after pondering the origins of the word frescuit for the past half hour i just realized right this second when typing that is a hybrid of "fresh biscuit". which means its either absurdly clever, or i'm having an even slower day than i had thought...) and thought to myself "oh hey, cute, they are testing out something new." then at the counter i spied an entire breakfast menu! breakfast burritos, french toast sticks, the works! how did i miss this? the body shop clogs my inbox with paraphernalia every week when i only shop there during my twice yearly stock ups on vats of mango body butter, meanwhile i've yet to be informed of this major major development in the home of my hangover cure. sheesh.


a random dispatch from the halloween party i attended last night - i've never been one for couples' costumes**, but i understand that there are girls (and boys) who are all into that, and so i accept that sometimes a man has just gotta dress silly to please his little lady and vice versa (and we do appreciate that). HOWEVER, i will never respect a man who dresses as mickey mouse, being pulled around by his minnie. never ever ever.

**exception: there is a bacon + egg set floating around that i would totally be a part of - of course i'd have to rock the bacon tunic - and i guess it would be preferable if a third party could dress as a frying pan and follow us around. but that's it.