Monday, November 05, 2007

my own brand of quality-assurance testing.

having been harassed and harassed and harassed by gigantic, noisy, gross and utterly distracting flies throughout the past few months in my office, i say with great pride that i finally got my chance at revenge today.

after a good hour or so of pestering me, the little beast du jour was taking a breather from his cacophonous flight and had perched behind me on my cork board.
while typically paralyzed with fear in such a moment, today i miraculously managed to spring into action. i grabbed the largest manuscript i could find - no offense to the author, but this will actually be the greatest feat that that piece of work will ever achieve - and walloped the little pest so forcefully that pushpins went flying and the whole bulletin board almost came down. i daresay the fly blood stain will remain on my office wall for a very long time.

i spent the remainder of the afternoon with a smug little grin on my face, filled with a ridiculous amount of satisfaction. which made me wonder - if killing bugs can fill me with such a larger sense of pride than writing a press release does, should i just become an exterminator?

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and on a side note after discussing destruction, i'd just like to give a shout out to ralph lauren, for making extremely high quality eyeglasses. i full-out sat on my glasses for about the thirtieth time this morning - it really baffles me how out of every square inch of my bed my bottom consistently finds the one little patch where my glasses are laying - and nary a crack in them. and i can't count the times i've
let them spend an entire day banging around in my purse without their case or knocked them off my dresser or threw something (like my cell phone, from, um, across the room) that happened to land smack on top of them and thought to myself "oh crap. that's it"...but no, they are still going strong. this is indestructible eyewear, people. i won't try dropping them from my fifth floor apartment window until i have a new pair in my possession, but i think that's what it's coming to.




7 comments:

Chuckles said...

I need some new glasses, maybe I'll check out the RL selection.

Chuckles said...

I too work with many manuscripts that are best used as insect destructonators.

Tim said...

I once crushed a massive fly with a shovel. I can still remember the squishing noise.

Chuckles said...

When I was a child (cue Bill Cosby voice), I smacked cicada grubs with trowels while digging in the dirt. The squished easily, loudly, voluminously.

missy&chrissy said...

chuckles - i feel your pain. (and thankfully not the pain of that cicada. i HATE those things!)

tim - my fly didn't make a squishing noise! maybe he wasn't massive enough. hmmph.

Tim said...

Or maybe the weight of the manuscript blocked it out…? That and the "HIIIIIIIII-YAAAA!" I'm hoping you yelled, ninja-stylee.

missy&chrissy said...

oh, you know it! i did the flying leap and everything.