Saturday, December 29, 2007

'tis the season.

to get in the last of my holiday kicks, i opted to take a 30-block walk down 5th avenue this afternoon on my way to running an errand. why i decided to do this, i don't know, as i don't really like people and i'm a fast walker and i typically avoid that area of midtown at all cost during this high-traffic high-tourist season. in any event, i managed to keep my cool even as it took me 3 songs (about 10 minutes) to walk the one single block past Saks and i had to overhear such inane conversation as two women lamenting "where are the celebrities?!" (um, most certainly not trotting around the busiest stretch of midtown)

while moseying through the crowd in the most zen-like manner** i could muster, i couldn't help but ponder the fact that with the immense amount of disaster movies they make about NYC - giant monkeys, asteroids, the stay-puff marshmallow man, floods, etc - you name it, its attacked us on the big screen - i think it would be most effective and scary if they did one of the population perishing due to trampling each other because there are so many fucking people in this city.

**it has since wore off.


so as we're going to be away for the next few days, this will be our last post of the year. retrospective time!

as most years tend to, '07 had its high highs and its low lows. we experienced the devastating loss of our beloved first pet, but discovered the joy of exfoliation. we fell in love with veronica mars - unfortunately then it was taken off the air - and the meat pies from a nearby bakery. we moved to bigger + better digs, pissing away more of our money on rent, but learning how to use a dishwasher. we met some awesome new friends, but were also reminded how awesome so many of our old friends are.

and now we look ahead. as "eight is great", we have good feelings about the upcoming year, although as earlier today i ripped the last page off my daily sudoku calendar that sits upon my desk, i wondered what the hell i'm going to have to look forward to every day in the office from now on with no more puzzles to do. 2008 just might have to be the year of finding a new hobby.

happy new year, dear readers!

Monday, December 24, 2007

three. two. one.


no french hens here - thank goodness - as there are already three of us sharing one bed. missy, bear, and i are currently bedmates, sharing her old bed at our parents' house. its quite a scene. i woke up this morning to stolen blankets and a grubby little paw in my face.



the number of days we just spent baking. we are basically living in a cookie factory, and i think i have flour in my ears.



last but not least (we're jumping a day ahead here, but forgive us since the next 48 hours will be spent in a present-wrapping food-feasting family-filled frenzy), our xmas greeting to you:

and a peacock in a fake treeeeeeee.

merry christmas everyone!

Friday, December 21, 2007

four calling....mice.

as i sit here pondering the lyrics of the song of the week, i realize that they are really heavy on the birds - partridges, turtle doves, geese, swans, french hens, and of course the 'calling' birds of this 4th day of christmas. i wonder if there is some sort of religious symbolism there, or if the songwriter was just a closet ornithologist.

anyhoo, never ones to stick to tradition, i'm not going to write about calling birds today. oh no. loveandcyanide has a calling mouse story.

yesterday afternoon, missy was sitting at her desk chatting on the phone. as she went to replace the receiver, she noticed something move out of the corner of her eye. so she glanced back at the phone, and saw a little gray-brown mouse pop out behind it and then scurry away across her desk into one of her piles of papers.

if you would like to reenact what she did next, she did it for me last night and it sounds like a lot of fun:

sit in a chair with wheels (preferably at a desk). push yourself backwards from the desk and as you roll away from it, throw your hands straight up in the air over your head (like you're on a roller coaster) and state loudly and firmly "there is a mouse on my desk!"

while i give her kudos for remaining so calm and not screeching like a banshee (as i'm sure i would have), i'm still rather perplexed about the arm motioning. are there rodent intimidation techniques out there that i don't know about?


and so, this upcoming week, while we're in hardcore holiday music mode at my parent's house, i imagine the song "chrissy, the christmas mouse"** will be played at least 20 times while we snicker at her.

**i've always hated this song, even though my pseudonym is featured so prominently.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

fiiiiiiivvveeeeee golden rings.

as we all know, we've reached the day that is the most important part of the song (eddie izzard does an awesome bit about how people run in from other rooms to burst into this line of the chorus...not like any of eddie's bits are anything but awesome. i could probably watch him eat a carrot onstage and be totally entertained.), and so, i will slightly break my recent pattern, to talk about a most important occurrence. just one. if five important things happened to me in one day...well, frankly, i don't know if i could handle it.

so we remember how last year at the dept xmas party i won an illness award?

well, this year i was bestowed with the "party queen award".

how quickly i am moving up in the world. from pathetic sick girl to party queen in a span of just 12 months! i should be a life coach, not a publicist.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


due to our love and adoration of pee-wee's christmas special, a video we have viewed countless times and have completely memorized, during the holidays we dub our apartment "the playhouse", and aspire to make it as shiny, twinkly, and tacky as the actual playhouse. as pee-wee had the assistance of Jambi, his genie, we fall a little short. (if you DO NOT know what i am talking about, please see this. and we insist that you watch this amazing piece of holiday goodness. if anything, it will help you understand us better.)

this year, with a larger apartment and a growing cache of christmas-y baubles, we've wound up with our most festive playhouse yet. so festive, we have SIX** xmas trees. we know you want to hear about each one!

  1. our main tree: a silver 4-ft tinsel tree, festooned with little white lights, green silk christmas balls, and topped with a purple peacock. it seriously looks much classier than it sounds.
  2. a 2-ft tree made of blue feathers, wrapped with gold beads.
  3. a conical tree covered in gold glitter.
  4. a slightly smaller conical tree covered in gold glitter.
  5. our year-round creepy tree, decked out with one pointy silver ornament and a small red knitted mitten.
  6. a 1-ft ceramic tree covered in little lights and bears. as you might imagine, this one is the personal favorite of our fuzzy little webmaster.


if anyone has ever spilled oatmeal on a black shirt before, they will know that the stain it leaves resembles vomit. i did this earlier today.

as our big office christmas party is this evening, a party where one could quite possibly drink enough alcohol to make themselves sick, i don't know if doing this makes me incredibly brilliant or incredibly stupid.

**keeping with the daily theme, kiddies. only six days left - we hope you have your shopping done.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

two squabs a-swimming. (hey, its close enough to the seven swans...)

i don't hang out with many people who have children, but when i do talk to coworkers and acquaintances who have them, everyone just gushes about how wonderful and amazing their kids are. i'm sure its true - to an extent. so i find it interesting when sometimes i get to overhear my boss on the phone with his wife, just bitching about his five kids. sometimes i feel like he actually despises them, and i find that vaguely refreshing.


speaking of refreshing, if you're looking for refreshment in the SI Ferry terminal, we highly suggest that you do not drink from the water fountains. missy had me on the phone earlier, giving the play-by-play of two pigeons splashing about in the fountains, pecking at the drinking spout.


Monday, December 17, 2007

eight is great!

in the spirit of the holidays, i had intended to do a countdown of the 12 days of christmas, basing my post each day around its corresponding number (probably slacking off at three, since by then missy and i will be up to our ears in cookie dough when we go to our parents this weekend to do our typical pre-Christmas baking extravaganza).

of course i had this idea on the 13th day and then had to neglect it until now. and so its the 8th day of christmas - or the 8th day until christmas, i'm not quite sure how to properly phrase/think about that - and as 8 is typically a special number for me (birth date), i imagine now is the time to start my festive little project. here are eight things that i'm totally loving today:

1. the dexter season finale
2. the way lou reed sings the word "fire" in the song sweet jane
3. snickerdoodles
4. the fact that i received an email that started off with "has anyone seen the copier...". as though the machine just picked up this morning and waddled out of the office
5. a new snoopy stuffed animal
6. colorful file folders
7. getting up on time thanks to my fantastically awesome new alarm clock
8. the following "to-do" list email from missy:

things that need to happen before Friday
  1. finish Christmas balls if it kills me
  2. finish decorating – it is just stupid to decorate post-christmas
  3. make little Christmas party invitation
  4. get mitch’s address, mail my one Christmas card
  5. make limoncello – this is happening tonight as it needs to sit for a week. Subsequently, we now have a Christmas gift for a. Joanne
  6. make truffles – this is also happening tonight
  7. go to Lord and Taylor, continue securing best Christmas presents ever for Christina even though I am probably getting nothing from our parents
  8. get my haircut, try to look presentable and to not to give mother additional fuel to mock me post-eggnog

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

thermometer testing: day 3.

missy just announced that its 66 degrees in her bedroom. Bear is not a happy camper.

and so, having tested all the main rooms in our apartment and being completely dissatisfied with the results/still unsure as to whether or not this thermometer actually is working, we're abandoning our little experiment. in a nutshell, its chilly, and we highly suggest bringing along slipper boots and a sweatshirt if you visit us.

marbles, lost.

our office receptionist leaves much to be desired. now don't get me wrong, she's a very sweet lady - its just that a squirrel could do her job better. i don't know if her mind is going with age - although she isn't that old - or if she's just always been pretty stupid. either way, she completely makes life more difficult for all of us.

one of her tasks is to send around an email to the office if someone calls in sick/late to her. pretty easy, huh? no. instead its this huge challenge, and she musses up about 70% of the time. today was one of those times. as i'm sitting at my desk an email comes around:

chrissy is out sick today.

i am??? this is news to me. did she hallucinate the phonecall this morning where i told her i wasn't coming in? was i wearing my invisibility cloak when i said 'good morning' to her as i entered the office? i questioned her as to what this is all about, and am awaiting a response. i know...there is no reason for me to harass this woman about her confusion, however, i was actually in early today and hate that she's spreading vicious rumours about my whereabouts. hmmph.


why is "w00t" the word of the year? ok, fine, merriam and webster want to show what technologically savvy chaps they are and keep the dictionary relevant. but this is a bit of a stretch, no? there weren't ANY other more important words out there this entire year?

hmm, update. i was going to go on a little rant about the state of language and tie this in to the decline of societal intelligence until i did a little research on past words-of-the-year, and found that 1992's was "not". so looks like i'm barking up the wrong tree.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

thermometer testing: day 2; and other stories.

after spending a night/day on my dresser, the thermometer now reads 64 degrees - so at least we know its working, and that the temperature is dropping as we go room to room. missy has taken it tonight, so we'll see which sister wins the award for chilliest bedroom. i suppose it should be hers, as that's the one that the polar bear sleeps in.


so they say that working out is just as good for your mind as your body, and i'm finding it pretty true lately - i've fallen into a prickly stretch of work/life, and i wind up feeling best on the evenings that i hit the gym and blow off a little steam (and dance around on the elliptical).

but beyond the workout portion of the outing, i actually find the locker room to be even more wonderful for my mental health - i couldn't make up the nonsense that these crazy, rich, naked (generally anyone over 40 and in the locker room - which is basically everyone save me and another girl or two who also get the cheap company discount, otherwise we'd never be allowed in this upper east side old broad club - hangs out in various states of nothingness. i'm all for good self-esteem, but holy cow, that locker room makes me hope and pray that gravity goes easy on me.) old ladies go on about.

this evening, one of them, we'll call her esther because she is often there swimming, went on a 10 minute rant about the fight she had gotten into with one of the yoga instructors because he allowed a new member of the class to take her favorite spot in the front of the room. she was spitting mad. i am always in the front because i know what i'm doing! i don't know if i can go back to that class anymore. then she was practically in tears. is this what people fret about when they don't have to worry about money? goodness. i leave the gym feeling better about my sanity than i do the fact that i just burned a few cookies off.


we've watched a bunch of excellent movies lately (no. not in the theater, since god forbid we actually get to go see a movie when its current), as all our shows are coming to an end and we've gotten back on our netflix kick. in no particular order, we highly suggest: the hoax and broken english.

Monday, December 10, 2007

thermometer testing: day 1

background: having been whining about the chill factor in our apartment ever since the temperature dropped below about 40, this past weekend when we were at our parents' they ordered us to get a thermometer, find out how cold it actually is in this place, and then when we actually know whether or not its illegally cold in here (well, not illegally, i suppose. neglectfully cold.), complain to the building manager. our nana later on told us to get multiple thermometers, to place throughout the apt, advising that she "has at least three hanging around." our family is nothing if not excessive.

but good thing, as we failed to procure a thermometer yesterday afternoon during a shopping trip to target, so nana had to give us one of hers. (she participated in the
heartwarming 'passing of the thermometer' scene with a slightly exasperated "how can my granddaughters' be so inept" look on her face). like thermometers grow on trees!

anyhow, the thermometer currently reads 68 degrees, a day after we placed it on the table in the middle of our living room/kitchen area. as missy and i cannot remember if the thermometer started off at 68 or 72 (it was somewhere around the 70 mark...) we have no clue if the thing is actually reading the temp in our apt or is simply stuck at whatever temp it was in nana's house the last time it was working (quite possibly 1987). and so this evening i will be moving it into my bedroom - "the igloo" - to see if there's any movement.

if the mercury plummets so quickly that the glass tube shatters, i will be sure to take pictures. stay tuned!

Friday, December 07, 2007

waiter, there's a shrimp in my soup.

i don't know what it is about me that compels the chinese food industry to put random shrimp in my food. perhaps i shouldn't take it personally and they happen to show up in everyone's food, and i'm really the only one noticing/caring because i'm not that into shrimp; but i'm thinking that isn't the case.

in any event, the wayward shrimp of today's order showed up in my wonton soup. and i don't care what dining companions have said in the past about it being ok when a shrimp finds it's way into my eggroll (like always) or my lo mein or fried rice (on occasion) - there is really no good reason why a shrimp should be in my soup.


since it's friday, and it's snowing, i'll leave you with a more uplifting food related story:

i'm sure you've all experienced when some song you vaguely know from a long time ago will sometimes randomly pop into your mind. well, every once in awhile a snippet of this song that was used in one of my dance recitals when i was about 4-5 years old will play in my head. and as the song was instrumental, i could never figure out a way to find out what the song actually was.

so earlier today, i heard the song playing from a coworker's office. i thought to myself, no. way. and went and hovered outside his office to listen. and sure enough, there it was. after barging into his office and explaining the situation, i was thrilled to finally find out what this tune was:

"popcorn" by hot butter.

i wonder if this has been a subconscious factor in the fact that i love popcorn.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

wednesday morning grumpiness.

reason #347 why i will start walking to work if the MTA goes through with their oft-threatened fare hike:

this morning as i crawled to work on a local train, i saw the express zoom past. as we pulled in to the next station, there sat the express across the platform. yay! as i stood waiting for the doors of my train to open, i notice the express doors close. as our doors open, the express pulls away. before any of us have the chance to transfer to it. fury!

why, exactly, should i pay more than $2 for such incompetence???


i KNOW that probably no one else in the office liked the 'lemon blueberry passionfruit' tea (ed. note: sounds weird, but it was really quite good), so i sort of reconciled with the fact that once i finished off the box, they didn't replenish it. but this morning as i finished the last of the english black and went to the cabinet to replace it, i was faced with only boxes of earl grey. i like the earl and all, but we used to have about five tea varieties, and now we're down to just one, meanwhile the coffee drinkers just got a snazzy new 'german chocolate' variety. no fair!

this calls for a little note to our office suggestion box.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

real estate realities.

situation: your broker shows you a fifth floor apt in a high-rise building in an area where there are no others.

you think: score! great views, no neighbors to peep through windows, no possibility of a burglar accessing/entering the building via roof from a neighboring building without possessing a helicopter.

reality: on a blustery evening, your windows will be so incredibly battered by the wind that you are kept awake the entire night.

Monday, December 03, 2007

kinda kreepy.

i don't spend much time at deli counters - i'm not really a fan of cold cuts ("lunch meat", if you prefer). never have been. i don't eat tunafish or pb&j either, so basically i was the lunchtime freak back in elementary school with gourmet leftover meals in their lunchbox. - so i don't know, maybe this is a usual occurrence:

key food had on display this evening, in the deli case, a giant bowl of "krab salad". is the errant K a cute nod to Keyfood, or to signify that there's no way there is real crab meat in that bowl? yick.