Friday, June 29, 2007

insectual harassment.

for the past two days a giant fly has been buzzing around my office. if i worked in the zoo, i would find this tolerable. but i don't, and so i really don't know what its doing in here. i also don't know why this fly is so large - about the size of a fully-popped piece of popcorn, which i think is a bit too large for your general nyc fly - although i'm thinking it must be the air in this building that creates mutant bugs. (see: elevator ride from hell)

anyways, i suppose you're wondering why i'm complaining about a fly buzzing around my head, simply doing his little fly thing near the window looking for an exit, as flies usually do. well, this fly isn't doing that. this fly is randomly dive-bombing me as i try to do my work. this fly hangs out on my sudoku puzzle daily calendar watching me type. he'll occasionally fly over to the window, or out my office door, but shortly returns and is again buzzing right over my shoulder. he's shown up on the chair next to me and perching on my mousepad.

i know i should have managed to kill this thing by now, but for some reason i can't get it together and swat him in time. i think its a combination of his size - daunting for a novice bug-killer like myself - and his buzzing, which is excessively loud when he's so close to me and throws me off to the point where instead of grabbing a notepad and swatting him i'm instead doing an indoor-voice girly shriek (translation: an eek-like noise low enough that only the person in the office next door would think something is amiss. blessfully, he has been on vacation.) and jumping out of my chair away from him. its pathetic. and rather distracting - not just the swerving out of his way but also the constant worrying that he might nest in my hair, given its current state of "big + curly". i would hope i could feel him on my scalp if he attempted such a move. - and if he ever emerges from his current lair in my blinds i will have to buck up and destroy him. let's see if i can manage that.

but the good news is, even if i can't handle it, i'm leaving for a week-long vacation later today and having checked out the lifespan of a fly -- which for your average male is 10 days (i'm assuming he's a male due to his size and aggressive nature) -- i'm expecting him to perish naturally and be gone by the time i return.


so yes, loveandcyanide is heading off on a little vacay for the 4th, so we won't be around for a bit. where are we going? Long Beach Island. go ahead, snicker and make your little jersey shore comments...but LBI is actually a rather nice and quiet little island off the coast of the j.shore and isn't very j.shore-like at all, as the fist-pumping fools that flock to the j.shore have not found their way there yet.

hopefully, my fly won't either.


Tim said...

I don't know enough about LBI to make a jokey comment, so I'll just say have a lovely time, and I hope the fly dies.

missy&chrissy said...

haha, thanks tim!

i could've really used your fly-swatting action figure today..

Chuckles said...

It is probably female. In the insect world, women are far more annoying then the men like mosquitos, for instance. Female tarantulas are larger and live longer than males.

Have a nice time at the beach and watch out for the sand fleas!

missy&chrissy said...

i did get attacked by sand fleas!

Chuckles said...

Maybe they just want your sweet blood.

That sounds creepier than I mean it.

missy&chrissy said...

ha. its ok - now we can think of you as chuckles the vampire!

i always hoped i'd get some vampire readers.