Friday, October 24, 2008

M I C....

the only benefit to working a bit later than usual on Wednesday night was that i finally got to see a mouse in our lobby. he dove back under the radiator as i came out of the elevator, and so i did the same out the door and on to the street. while kind of freaked out, i was happy to finally have my proof about the "dead mouse smell" that permeates the entrance to the building. that little guy will be in a trap and stinking up the place in no time, i'm sure.


oddly enough, we have another mouse-in-the-radiator story - one that totally tops this week's. a few years back a little mouse found his way into our parents' house via a christmas tree. after we figured out what had happened and spent most of an evening looking for the little stowaway, missy of course came face-to-face with him while she was in the bathroom. he popped his head out of the heating vent in the wall and she went berserk.

her shrieks brought the troops - my father, a flashlight, and our cat, tigger - running to the rescue. about two minutes later we look into the bathroom and see a most ridiculous scene: while father and tigger are on their bellies on the floor peering into the openings at the bottom of the radiator, the mouse was sticking out of the top part of it, about a foot above them, staring down at their heads.


and so tomorrow we're off to florida, where after a few days of beach bumming we will head over to the happiest place on earth and get to see the biggest mouse of them all! don't worry, we will be careful to avoid the disney freaks - epcot is currently having a wine festival, so we imagine booze will be a pretty effective repellent*.

*Bear is carrying nunchucks in his fanny pack, just in case.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

tp tuesday.

i wear glasses for distance - for the most part i need them whenever i want/need to clearly see more than 6 ft. in front of me, so people tend to ask me why i just don't get contacts and make my life easier by always seeing clearly. but i'm excessively squeamish about my eyes, and never felt comfortable with the idea of sticking little plastic cups into them and so i'd rather throw my glasses on and off as i need them. i actually really enjoy being bespectacled.

anyways, i typically don't wear them during the work day as i don't need them for reading or when i'm on the computer. today i discovered what is quite possibly the main benefit to never wearing them in the office: i can't see the magnitude of filth in the ladies room. good. lord. i am never making the mistake of seeing clearly in that room ever again.

while this is certainly a memory i'd like to erase (the rest of you too, i'm sure), i was reminded of it when i happened upon the virtual toilet paper museum this evening.

the VTPM is infinitely more interesting and sanitary, i promise.

Friday, October 17, 2008

our hero.

one giant burger.

don't you just want to rest your head on it?

best nap ever.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

midweek madness.

we heard a christmas song on the radio over the weekend. already?! it turned out to be for some sort of 'santa bucks' contest promotion the station is holding...but still. i am an absolute holiday season freak and even i don't want to hear santa claus is coming to town on an 80 degree mid-october day. they couldn't do a monster mash moolah prize instead?


the NY court system is officially stalking me. i received my 4th 'juror questionnaire' in the past two years. to the house i no longer live in, in the borough where i got exempt from serving 2 years ago because i didn't live there then either. i'm starting to think they really have no one else to call. my last name must mean 'fair' in latin because the only person i know who gets harassed to be a juror more than i do is my father.


workers at a local restaurant - a favorite of ours for greek take-out - yelled at me this evening for taking too long to pick up my order. it was 22(ish) minutes! the moment i walked in the door i was greeted with a chorus of "you are LATE!" thankfully i don't speak the language so i missed everything else being muttered about me as i paid and slunk out the door. missy is on pick-up duty from now on.


they cancelled one of our favorite tv series, the riches. sob! typically our treasured shows get the ax after the third season, so they surprised us by stealing this one away from us even earlier. i really need to just stop watching television altogether, since the (quality!) shows we fall for are ones no one else is watching and therefore get cancelled, meanwhile freaking two and a half men marches on in prime time and on syndication on every station imaginable, its obnoxious theme song drilling holes in my brain. ugh.


on the train to work this morning, wearing my glasses and therefore being slightly more observant than usual, i was staring down at the platform as our train was being held at a station and noticed a roach meandering around. in broad daylight, outdoors, on a relatively clean platform. watching in horror as he attempted to get from the platform onto the train - he didn't, thank goodness for those gaps and the inadequate jumping skills of the cockroach - it sunk in that had he made it on to the train his next stop could have very easily been on to my pants leg, which was dragging all over the subway car floor. or worse, *shudder*, up my pants leg.

i am so incredibly loathe to admit this, but i might finally start wearing shorter pants.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

another thursday fix.

it is 'customer appreciation week' at WaMu and they are giving out FREE TOOTSIE ROLL POPS. i find this heartwarming considering their current state of affairs.

run, don't walk to the nearest one! they are all out of cookies, but surprisingly no one wanted the candy. so being my usual thoughtful self i helped myself to four, one for each family member who holds an account with them...

*brushes lollipop sticks off desk*

a thursday fix.

ten ways to eat more bacon.

as if it was really even possible for me to eat more.

some of these are old, some are new - but #7?!?!?! a travesty. tofu does NOT, just does not, deserve to be wrapped in bacon. it shouldn't even be kept in the same refrigerator.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

voting hoes and penmanship woes.

last week, being the very diligent, law abiding citizens we are, chrissy and i did some internet research to be sure our voting information was accurate. we had both been living in different apartments in 2004 and figured we'd better verify where we could vote this year. one little search later, i'd discovered i was not, in fact, a registered voter. someone with an eerily similar name and my very same birthday was however. and they were also living in our parents' house.

in my usual state of terror and manic anxiety, i dialed chrissy to get her opinion. we decided that i should not, in any way, vote under my pseudonym as then my opinion might be disqualified, thus swinging the entire presidential race by my one vote.

i called the board of elections and was put through immediately to an incredibly sweet sounding older woman who i can only assume was darning socks for her great grandchild as she spoke to me. she was very helpful and apologetic and assured me the matter would be rectified immediately. i was told she just needed to pull up my registration form.

with lightening speed, she turned from jekyll to hyde, telling me that she had located the problem. assuming it was now something really terrible i inquired nervously what the issue was.

"your penmanship," she snarled, "is terrible!"

i was then subjected to a lecture on the importance of good penmanship and how easy it is to mistake an O for an A at the hands of a novice scribe. i was not allowed off the phone without swearing on all but my future first-born that i would print on my new registration, as i am clearly not fit to use script.

and there with my tail between my legs, chrissy got the confirmation she has always yearned for. her handwriting is officially prettier.

there goes bear's social life..

it's no secret the love&cyanide ladies love gmail, between us we've got 5 gmail addresses, and that's not counting bear's (you can reach him at so, color me surprised to not be on board with their newest feature, mail goggles, an application that polices your sobriety.

really? i have to do math equations before i can send a 3am friday night email? i can see how this may help the recently broken hearted and the chronic emotional messes, but for those of us with a consistently colder nature, how will we ever show affection?

if it weren't for a little nightcap, sissy and i might never speak. and forget about bear's midnight electronic odes to his paramours..

Thursday, October 02, 2008


thank goodness we are not boys.

we can maybe do about two things on this list. does growing basil count as "food"? we hope.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

journey into the realm of the rabid disney vacationers.

at the end of the month missy and i are taking a vacation to our aunt's timeshare down in Florida, and after spending most of that week lounging idly on the beach we decided we will end it with a drive across the state to visit Disney World, as we've only been once before - i was 9, missy was 5 and capitalizing on the fact that she could still *almost* fit in a stroller and therefore should be pushed around the entire magic kingdom, legs flailing out of her little carriage while the rest of us took turns pushing her around in the 100 degree august heat. so it was practically 20 years ago, and clearly things are totally different (although i imagine i will still whine about the effects of the Floridian humidity on my bangs and take dorky photos with Tigger, and missy will try to cajole me into pushing her around the parks) and being we're only going to be two hours from the magical place we might as well make a stop there. two days at the parks, in-and-out, see it from an adult perspective. we thought it would be that simple.

in speaking to others who've visited there at some point in the past 1/5 of the century, we're starting to see that it isn't. it has been suggested that i should make all my dinner reservations now, a month in advance. a disney-vacation-loving coworker frantically informed me yesterday that i might already be too late to even make such reservations. REALLY? we are going to go hungry in the happiest place on earth because we didn't pick our dining destination more than 30 days in advance?

turning to the vacation message boards for further info has only been more alarming - there's the woman who was panicking about getting her restaurant of choice when it was only 180 days before her trip. there are the people who list, next to their avatar, every year they've gone to disney and every disney hotel they've stayed at each time and every disney restaurant they've eaten in each time (and there are an awful lot of those people). there are the people who know the exact minute you need to sit down to eat to ensure you'll be done in time for the evening fireworks. there are the ticket options, and the park options, and the park-hoppers, and the meal plans, and the shuttle bus options, and the resort options, and the extra magic hours schedule, and the vacation planning DVDs. who wants to watch a video to instruct oneself how to go away on vacation?!

we are experienced travellers, yet a trip to Orlando is completely boggling our minds.