monday morning cuteness.

after a particularly rough end of last week, we thought we'd kick this one off as heartwarming-ly as we can. (the very least Bear and i can do while lounging about in bed whilst everyone else goes to work is provide a little good cheer, right? right.)

puppets AND hippos? swoon.

elder-love* gets us every time.




*and speaking of elder-love, a charming anecdote from a family dinner this past weekend:

mother was re-telling a conversation between herself and our father from earlier in the week. she had mentioned a friend of hers who was dating a widower, and my father interjected to say that if my mother passed away he couldn't go through the whole dating thing again.

how sweet, we all thought.

he then continued to say how he wouldn't date because it's just too much work to go through that all again in your 50's, and he'd try to find a new wife in an easier manner - for instance, asking a female postal worker to marry him when she brings him his mail.

when telling the story, however, mother used the phrase "mail lady" which our aunt took as "male lady" and a minute after the story was told sat there with a look of confusion upon her face as she asked our father why he'd replace our mother with a transsexual. hilarity ensued.

looking at the bright side.

it's only day two of Unemployment Fest '08, but i'm already discovering how many things are more enjoyable when you're not rushing off to work in the morning. going to the dry cleaners. mailing letters. crossing the street. making breakfast.

especially making breakfast. in my old life, where i had a job and responsibility and stuff like that, fun breakfasts were relegated to the weekend. but not any more! now i have more than enough time to fill every day with bacon and eggs (but for the sake of my arteries, i won't).

to broaden my breakfast horizons i visited our old friend, mr. breakfast, where i discovered that next wednesday, november 28th, is national french toast day! (i know we're on team waffle over here, but we're also a huge supporter of french toast). i wanted to spread the word now, so everyone has a week to prepare. and purchase gifts for loved ones, since there are tees, mugs, and totes to commemorate this important day.

lest you don't believe me.

moving along.

we usually don't write about serious stuff here, but

i got laid off today.

and i'm not writing this for sympathy, more so that i need to express how it just feels so strange. that i was roaming midtown at 4pm on a friday and didn't have a desk to be sitting at; that the work email that i've known for the past two years is now currently nonexistent; that i can sleep until noon on monday and no one will give a crap.

it's surreal. i've gone through the motions of a usual friday night out with friends - extra wonderful supportive thoughtful friends - but haven't been feeling at all like myself. which is to be expected but sort of disconcerting, as i always said that i wouldn't let my job define me, but then yet when it's taken away from me i feel completely lost. 'free', i suppose, is probably the better word to use here, as i've been told about 60 times this evening, but we're not at that stage yet.

although on the plus side, it means we will be updating loveandcyanide more frequently in the weeks to come.

"vegetable sale" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

i was asked recently if i wanted to have children someday, and as i don't think the question has ever been posed so directly to me before - at least not by an older, wiser, adult - it sort of took me by surprise. of course i wasn't anywhere near as surprised as when, also recently, a woman in a store asked me if i was having a child. missy is convinced i misheard her, and that she asked me if i HAD a child - i was intently watching her son adorably wreck havoc on a shoe display - but i'm doubtful. there were two syllables there, and "had" only has one. so i am NEVER again wearing the outfit i was in that day.

but i digress. so while i didn't really have a quick answer to the above question because i'm not one for 5 or 10 year plans, and i tend to consider everything situational, if i didn't, at some point down the road, want to have children, this would be why:

c'mon, let the kids have brownies

i would hate to bring a child into a world where they couldn't experience the joy of a proper bake sale.

warning: rampant cuteness ahead.

hello readers! we're back.

while the title up there makes it seem like we'll be posting photos of us and Bear in our mouse ears, we managed to find something even cuter.

puppies!


while everyone else goes nutso for the election, we're going to just sit here and watch some adorable baby animals all day long.

M I C....

the only benefit to working a bit later than usual on Wednesday night was that i finally got to see a mouse in our lobby. he dove back under the radiator as i came out of the elevator, and so i did the same out the door and on to the street. while kind of freaked out, i was happy to finally have my proof about the "dead mouse smell" that permeates the entrance to the building. that little guy will be in a trap and stinking up the place in no time, i'm sure.

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oddly enough, we have another mouse-in-the-radiator story - one that totally tops this week's. a few years back a little mouse found his way into our parents' house via a christmas tree. after we figured out what had happened and spent most of an evening looking for the little stowaway, missy of course came face-to-face with him while she was in the bathroom. he popped his head out of the heating vent in the wall and she went berserk.

her shrieks brought the troops - my father, a flashlight, and our cat, tigger - running to the rescue. about two minutes later we look into the bathroom and see a most ridiculous scene: while father and tigger are on their bellies on the floor peering into the openings at the bottom of the radiator, the mouse was sticking out of the top part of it, about a foot above them, staring down at their heads.

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and so tomorrow we're off to florida, where after a few days of beach bumming we will head over to the happiest place on earth and get to see the biggest mouse of them all! don't worry, we will be careful to avoid the disney freaks - epcot is currently having a wine festival, so we imagine booze will be a pretty effective repellent*.



*Bear is carrying nunchucks in his fanny pack, just in case.

tp tuesday.

i wear glasses for distance - for the most part i need them whenever i want/need to clearly see more than 6 ft. in front of me, so people tend to ask me why i just don't get contacts and make my life easier by always seeing clearly. but i'm excessively squeamish about my eyes, and never felt comfortable with the idea of sticking little plastic cups into them and so i'd rather throw my glasses on and off as i need them. i actually really enjoy being bespectacled.

anyways, i typically don't wear them during the work day as i don't need them for reading or when i'm on the computer. today i discovered what is quite possibly the main benefit to never wearing them in the office: i can't see the magnitude of filth in the ladies room. good. lord. i am never making the mistake of seeing clearly in that room ever again.

while this is certainly a memory i'd like to erase (the rest of you too, i'm sure), i was reminded of it when i happened upon the virtual toilet paper museum this evening.

the VTPM is infinitely more interesting and sanitary, i promise.

our hero.

one giant burger.


don't you just want to rest your head on it?

best nap ever.

midweek madness.

we heard a christmas song on the radio over the weekend. already?! it turned out to be for some sort of 'santa bucks' contest promotion the station is holding...but still. i am an absolute holiday season freak and even i don't want to hear santa claus is coming to town on an 80 degree mid-october day. they couldn't do a monster mash moolah prize instead?

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the NY court system is officially stalking me. i received my 4th 'juror questionnaire' in the past two years. to the house i no longer live in, in the borough where i got exempt from serving 2 years ago because i didn't live there then either. i'm starting to think they really have no one else to call. my last name must mean 'fair' in latin because the only person i know who gets harassed to be a juror more than i do is my father.

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workers at a local restaurant - a favorite of ours for greek take-out - yelled at me this evening for taking too long to pick up my order. it was 22(ish) minutes! the moment i walked in the door i was greeted with a chorus of "you are LATE!" thankfully i don't speak the language so i missed everything else being muttered about me as i paid and slunk out the door. missy is on pick-up duty from now on.

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they cancelled one of our favorite tv series, the riches. sob! typically our treasured shows get the ax after the third season, so they surprised us by stealing this one away from us even earlier. i really need to just stop watching television altogether, since the (quality!) shows we fall for are ones no one else is watching and therefore get cancelled, meanwhile freaking two and a half men marches on in prime time and on syndication on every station imaginable, its obnoxious theme song drilling holes in my brain. ugh.

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on the train to work this morning, wearing my glasses and therefore being slightly more observant than usual, i was staring down at the platform as our train was being held at a station and noticed a roach meandering around. in broad daylight, outdoors, on a relatively clean platform. watching in horror as he attempted to get from the platform onto the train - he didn't, thank goodness for those gaps and the inadequate jumping skills of the cockroach - it sunk in that had he made it on to the train his next stop could have very easily been on to my pants leg, which was dragging all over the subway car floor. or worse, *shudder*, up my pants leg.

i am so incredibly loathe to admit this, but i might finally start wearing shorter pants.

another thursday fix.

it is 'customer appreciation week' at WaMu and they are giving out FREE TOOTSIE ROLL POPS. i find this heartwarming considering their current state of affairs.

run, don't walk to the nearest one! they are all out of cookies, but surprisingly no one wanted the candy. so being my usual thoughtful self i helped myself to four, one for each family member who holds an account with them...

*brushes lollipop sticks off desk*

a thursday fix.

ten ways to eat more bacon.


as if it was really even possible for me to eat more.

some of these are old, some are new - but #7?!?!?! a travesty. tofu does NOT, just does not, deserve to be wrapped in bacon. it shouldn't even be kept in the same refrigerator.

voting hoes and penmanship woes.

last week, being the very diligent, law abiding citizens we are, chrissy and i did some internet research to be sure our voting information was accurate. we had both been living in different apartments in 2004 and figured we'd better verify where we could vote this year. one little search later, i'd discovered i was not, in fact, a registered voter. someone with an eerily similar name and my very same birthday was however. and they were also living in our parents' house.

in my usual state of terror and manic anxiety, i dialed chrissy to get her opinion. we decided that i should not, in any way, vote under my pseudonym as then my opinion might be disqualified, thus swinging the entire presidential race by my one vote.

i called the board of elections and was put through immediately to an incredibly sweet sounding older woman who i can only assume was darning socks for her great grandchild as she spoke to me. she was very helpful and apologetic and assured me the matter would be rectified immediately. i was told she just needed to pull up my registration form.

with lightening speed, she turned from jekyll to hyde, telling me that she had located the problem. assuming it was now something really terrible i inquired nervously what the issue was.

"your penmanship," she snarled, "is terrible!"

i was then subjected to a lecture on the importance of good penmanship and how easy it is to mistake an O for an A at the hands of a novice scribe. i was not allowed off the phone without swearing on all but my future first-born that i would print on my new registration, as i am clearly not fit to use script.

and there with my tail between my legs, chrissy got the confirmation she has always yearned for. her handwriting is officially prettier.

there goes bear's social life..

it's no secret the love&cyanide ladies love gmail, between us we've got 5 gmail addresses, and that's not counting bear's (you can reach him at bear4mayor@gmail.com). so, color me surprised to not be on board with their newest feature, mail goggles, an application that polices your sobriety.

really? i have to do math equations before i can send a 3am friday night email? i can see how this may help the recently broken hearted and the chronic emotional messes, but for those of us with a consistently colder nature, how will we ever show affection?

if it weren't for a little nightcap, sissy and i might never speak. and forget about bear's midnight electronic odes to his paramours..

whew.

thank goodness we are not boys.


we can maybe do about two things on this list. does growing basil count as "food"? we hope.

journey into the realm of the rabid disney vacationers.

at the end of the month missy and i are taking a vacation to our aunt's timeshare down in Florida, and after spending most of that week lounging idly on the beach we decided we will end it with a drive across the state to visit Disney World, as we've only been once before - i was 9, missy was 5 and capitalizing on the fact that she could still *almost* fit in a stroller and therefore should be pushed around the entire magic kingdom, legs flailing out of her little carriage while the rest of us took turns pushing her around in the 100 degree august heat. so it was practically 20 years ago, and clearly things are totally different (although i imagine i will still whine about the effects of the Floridian humidity on my bangs and take dorky photos with Tigger, and missy will try to cajole me into pushing her around the parks) and being we're only going to be two hours from the magical place we might as well make a stop there. two days at the parks, in-and-out, see it from an adult perspective. we thought it would be that simple.

in speaking to others who've visited there at some point in the past 1/5 of the century, we're starting to see that it isn't. it has been suggested that i should make all my dinner reservations now, a month in advance. a disney-vacation-loving coworker frantically informed me yesterday that i might already be too late to even make such reservations. REALLY? we are going to go hungry in the happiest place on earth because we didn't pick our dining destination more than 30 days in advance?

turning to the vacation message boards for further info has only been more alarming - there's the woman who was panicking about getting her restaurant of choice when it was only 180 days before her trip. there are the people who list, next to their avatar, every year they've gone to disney and every disney hotel they've stayed at each time and every disney restaurant they've eaten in each time (and there are an awful lot of those people). there are the people who know the exact minute you need to sit down to eat to ensure you'll be done in time for the evening fireworks. there are the ticket options, and the park options, and the park-hoppers, and the meal plans, and the shuttle bus options, and the resort options, and the extra magic hours schedule, and the vacation planning DVDs. who wants to watch a video to instruct oneself how to go away on vacation?!

we are experienced travellers, yet a trip to Orlando is completely boggling our minds.

morbid monday.

I was supposed to do this post on Thursday evening, and somehow a handful of days managed to escape me. so last thursday was going to be a pretty uneventful weeknight – missy and i were heading home from work to cook dinner and catch up on some television from the week, and on our way to the subway we happened upon a dexter newsstand. Which is exactly what it sounds like – a newsstand filled with all things relating to showtime’s marvelous show Dexter. Being huge fans, we made a beeline to the stand and the marketing peons running it ambushed us with fanzines, free candy, and Gatorade. (or um, maybe we were the first passersby to actually ambush them)

regardless, it was like Christmas, just slightly more macabre and without the evergreen, since everything at the stand – from the sign to the Gatorade to all the various types of candy – was red. Which worked out great for us since we walked away with a bunch of sugary favorites - red hots, red sour straws, and – probably the most amazing thing to happen to me that evening – a cherry airhead. i haven't had an airhead in ages. MMMMMMMM.

so yes, this was all a giant campaign – a successful one, we think – for the new season, which started last night and although we won’t be watching the premiere until this evening we KNOW it was amazing and hope you all might tune in if you aren’t already fans. or at least look for a dexter newsstand near you, so you can make out like crimson-candied bandits as well.

as if the serial killer candy bonanza wasn’t enough for that one evening, we then stopped into our local supermarket to pick up non-sugary food for dinner, and in the cereal aisle missy discovered “uncle sam’s laxative cereal”. Not kidding. Way to get that point across! i really wish one of us had a camera with us to capture both the cereal box and our delirious grins when she called me over and showed it to me.

lastly, to go back to today’s theme, we had spent this weekend – and morning – at a family funeral. i know, we’ve all been to funerals and they are unpleasant and awkward, so we’re not going to go on about it more than we have to. however i had spent a good few minutes this morning just staring at the carpeting in the funeral home, and as it looked insanely familiar, and as I hadn’t been in that particular funeral home in about three years, i decided that it must be because all funeral homes use similar carpeting - an evenly-spaced pattern of little floral bouquets. And the more I sat there pondering the carpet, the more i realized that it was really the most fitting covering for any mourner who happened to stare at the floor – the slight design was distracting but not dizzying, the repetition of it somewhat soothing and easy to focus on. And in that moment – and all the subsequent ones after, while i continue to think about this stupid carpet, on the subway to my office and now sitting in my office (clearly thinking of anything but the work i should be thinking of) – i feel ridiculously comforted knowing that so much thought was put into that floor covering.

for a cloudy afternoon.

a good read.

tuesday briefs.

isn't spam so much more tolerable when it comes from an interestingly named sender? earlier today i completely ignored harold's advice on enlarging my manhood, yet took a second glance at agamemnon's selection of canadian pharmaceuticals. greek mythology is definitely the way to go there, spammers.

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is there something about cold-weather shoes that make people shuffle more? during the past two days coworkers have all been shuffling into my office (unfortunately it isn't the manhattan shuffle!), and i have to attribute it to the fact that they are no longer wearing sandals and have their feet covered up for the fall.

or, given the nature of this place, unless its just because the rug is filled with more mouse hair than usual. bleh.

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but while we're on the topic of animals, an FYI in case anyone was thinking of visiting the NY Aquarium - most definitely go during the week day, during the school year. i had a friend in town the past few days, and took friday off for an aquarium adventure. sure we felt a little silly at the sea lion show when we realized the aquatheater was filled with basically all elderly couples, but the animals were so bored with no kids around to torture them that an otter came right up to the edge of his tank and hung out with us for a good 20 minutes. it was the cutest thing i've seen in ages, and probably the highlight of my month. he's so lucky i couldn't heft him over the glass partition or else he'd be stuck doing flips in my bathtub right now.

scaring the neighbors.

there's this guy who lives in our building, i believe the floor below us, and it just so happens that almost every time we, or missy herself, bumps into him in the elevator, its under the circumstances where she's taken by surprise, and either gasps, screams, or jumps when he appears. (we startle extremely easily, in case we've never mentioned it before) so our joke is that this guy thinks she's totally nuts, since he's the quiet sort and just sort of nods and looks away when she does her little startle thing, or at times, big startle thing, and when i'm there during her startle thing we both wind up laughing hysterically afterwards, so he never speaks to us otherwise. this will come into play later on in the story.

so, yesterday evening i had just finished cleaning my apartment and was getting ready to attend a family fun night with missy and dad at the yankee game. our dad was picking us up to drive us to the stadium, and was dropping miscellaneous items off for us first (good porter chauffeur father he is!). when he called to tell me he was outside my apartment he also mentioned that he was going to 'send up' the bag of towels he brought for us in the elevator, and i could just grab them when they appeared at my floor (after lugging our laundry up three flights of stairs to our old apartment almost every other sunday night for two years, the man is thrilled we live in an elevator building and as witnessed in this story, utilizes it in any manner possible). he would then go find a parking spot and come up to my abode and wait until missy arrived home from work and we could leave for the game. simple enough.

at the time that i took this phone call i was in the middle of changing into something less suitable for vacuuming/more suitable for an athletic event outing, and as my buzzer rang, signifying that a giant garbage bag of towels was coming up to visit me, i happened to be in just a bra and a pair of old, hole-y sweatpants. as i had about 30 seconds to run out and grab the towels, i contemplated doing so in my current ensemble.

in the end, as i heard the elevator ding at my floor, i grabbed a tshirt and was throwing it on as i burst out of my apartment and dove for the elevator, so i could hold the door and grab my laundry.

we all know what happens next. as my door slams shut behind me, i realize that i just locked myself out of my apartment. in sweatpants with a giant hole in the backside area, and barefoot (but blessfully, by about 3 seconds, with a shirt on).

after a fit of laughter over my current state of disaster, i panic that if my father does not come immediately up to my apartment (he had our keys with him yesterday, thank goodness) and instead just opts to sit in the car after he parks it, i will have to sit in the hall until missy comes home. thinking there had to be a safer bet, i decide to go downstairs and outside in the hopes of flagging the man down as he's circling 31st street.

and i indeed manage to do so, after a few minutes of loitering, barefoot, on the middle of a main street outside of my apartment. so my genius plan did work (concerned father pulls up, rushes out of car and inquires why i am outside without any shoes on; later he confides he was worried i lost my mind) but not before aforementioned neighbor arrives home from work. as he passes me to enter the building, i say hello, he smiles at me, and i burst into laughter, knowing what he must be thinking about the disheveled sister of the weird elevator screamer.

at this point, we've given up all hope of him thinking we're anything close to normal. we're kind of just hoping he doesn't try to have us evicted.

disturbing new discoveries.

as we all know, i don't have any children and i don't spend very much time with any children, so forgive me if everyone else has been aware of this unsettling trend and we're just waking up to it...

but what happened to lunch boxes?!?!

i'm on a rabid hunt for a thermos - an old-school, plastic, unscrew-the-lid-and-flip-the-spout-up, laden-with-cartoon-characters, show-off-to-all-your-classmates thermos - and figured i could just pop into any old department-type store with a back-to-school section and purchase a lunch box and find my thermos inside. i honestly thought my biggest issue was that i wouldn't like the character selection and have to settle for stupid dora the explorer (top choice? spongebob). but no dice. not even close.

they don't even call them lunch boxes anymore - lunch bags, lunch kits, even lunch totes. and even somewhere that still does use the beloved old term for them - the website lunchboxes.com - barely sells any that come with a thermos inside. many do, however, come with a 'can pouch'. what the hell?! no wonder kids are so obese - they have a soda holster built right on to their school accessories.

i'm finding this all seriously distressing. if anyone comes across a spare thermos in their parents' attic, please send it our way.