Wednesday, January 10, 2007

on pantyhose.

i'll start off by saying in general i've never really liked stockings. i have issues with clothes i consider binding (socks, gloves) and hosiery completely falls into that category. had i been around in the olden days, i am certain i would have been publicly ridiculed for refusing to wear a corset.

i also think i was somewhat turned off of stockings from a slightly scarring experience from kindergarten (yes, age 6. my ridiculously excellent memory can be a bit of a curse at times.): while in the bathroom with a classmate, i was washing my hands and she was in the stall. she opened the stall and as she was flushing the bowl and fixing her clothes i realized she was pulling on her underwear while her tights were already up.

being a little clone of my mother i was already a card-carrying member of the 'inappropriate clothing police', so i asked her why she was wearing her underwear over her tights. she told me that was the way you were supposed to wear them. i left the bathroom feeling a little skeeved and slightly confused, but confident in my mother's dresing abilities that i was indeed right on this one. poor stupid little girl.

so its taken a lot of effort - as well as a sister with a boot obsession - for me to currently own about 15 pairs of variously patterned tights and stockings. and i'm actually enjoying them. sort of. here is my big quandary/complaint to our readers who work in the hosiery biz - how come they are never long enough?

i buy the tallest ones. the pair today says they fit heights 5'8 - 6'0. now, i'm just about pushing 5'8 these days, so shouldn't these things be pooling up around my midsection? no. i can barely get them to stretch up to where they are supposed to be - so how on earth is a 6'0 woman supposed to get her amazonianly long legs into them?

stop the discrimination against us taller ones, pantyhose industry.




4 comments:

P H said...

I suggest bringing sexy back and wearing thigh-highs

missyandchrissy said...

justin already brought that back...i believe wearing thigh highs when it isnt halloween will only result in me bringing slutty back.

Chuckles said...

How did I miss this post? I love your adverbial use of amazon. I am going to remember that one.

And I offer my services in helping you find taller stockings. You could help me find socks or something, I don't know that I would care.

missyandchrissy said...

anytime chuckles -- we vote for gray argyle socks.