Monday, November 06, 2006

thinking my true calling may be as an exterminator.

i swear to you dear readers that i am a clean and tidy girl. why i have suddenly found myself in a cycle where i see some form of vermin on a daily basis is beyond me. on a positive note, all these experiences with the more disgusting little creatures that inhabit the earth are making me a much stronger person.

so we all remember my run-in with that mutant roach about 2 weeks ago - that i suppose started this cycle, and thankfully, while some of the vermin-centric events of the weekend were mildly scarring, none were on the level of the incident with that super bug from outer space. i've come a long way since then.

on thurs, missy and i had the pleasure of witnessing a rat duel on the subway tracks. while chatting and waiting for the train, we saw a rat scurry by with something in his mouth, which we figured out was a chickenbone (at least we hope it was). thinking that it was kind of cute to see how it was dinnertime for all of nyc's residents both large and small, we resumed our conversation. suddenly we see another rat pounce on the first one, and go for the bone. rodentlike squeals ensued, little furs went flying, and the two rats were rolling around on the floor clawing each other for this meager bit of chicken carcass. the entire platform of people were enraptured in the battle, necks craning over the ledge to see which rat would lose an eye. who won? we'll never know, as the C train pulled in and we were off to enjoy our dinner (neither of us ordered poultry).

next morning, i arrive in my office, excited that its friday, excited to be leaving town for the weekend, excited for my cup of english breakfast tea since it was freezing out and i was of course dressed inappropriately for not one, but two cities. just as i was about to go to the kitchen to make my tea, a yelp is heard from that direction, and one of my coworkers comes quickly striding by reporting "there's a mouse chilling in the kitchen". and indeed there was - sitting near a tray of (wrapped) halloween candy on the counter near our coffee machine was a little gray mouse. just sitting there. staring at everyone who walked in, as though he though he waiting for you to ask him to pour you a cup. had this been a cartoon, and not, you know, real life, i would have thought it was all shades of adorable. but mice, along with mutant roaches, most definitely do not belong in one's workspace, and so i was disgusted and horrified, and even after the little guy was disposed of, i refused to go in the kitchen and make my tea. shudder. i hope no one minds when i start wearing a biohazard suit to work everyday.

finally, as i was about to hop into the shower on sunday, i notice something move out of the corner of my eye on the bathroom windowsill. had it been 2 months ago, i would have blamed this on the previous night's wine-filled revelry, but now i know better. there was something else in this bathroom besides me. a moment later i see a rather large waterbug come crawling down the bottle of bathroom cleaner (oh irony) that was on the sill. while my immediate reaction was to shout to the more courageous and strong male in the other room to come kill it, i also heard the voice of the new, braver chrissy saying, "come on, you can kill this thing yourself." and dammit, i did.

amazing, that just a mere two weeks ago i couldn't manage to stomp on a roach in an elevator, and now i could be naked in a bathroom with a waterbug about 10 inches away at eye level and find the power within myself to beat it senseless with a magazine.

1 comment:

DirkStar said...

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