are you lookin' at me?

you ever get the feeling that everyone is staring at you while you're walking down the street? i hate that. the whole experience sets me off into a fit of paranarcissism** since i know that a. no one is really looking at me, i'm just being paranoid and everyone has better things to do than look at me, but b. subsequent thinking leads me to hey, you know, i do look mighty fine today so maybe they are, or oh my god, i must have something so wrong going on right now that everyone feels the need to gawk at me. further thought on the matter usually leads to a temporary self-obsession, fussing with my skirt/hair/sunglasses/bag, seeking out the presumably embarassing explanation for all the stares. there usually isn't one.

but after today i will no longer fall prey to the flustered fussing around over nothing. while going to the doctor this morning to get meds for the monstrous disfigurement minor skin affliction that i'm currently blessed with on my poor little face, i learned a very important lesson - you KNOW when people are ogling you because you resemble a train wreck.


** although paranarcissism sounds like a term that should already be in use for something a little more scientific, scholarly, or at the very least, important, i've checked the dictionary and googled it to no avail. hey, if the internet doesn't know about it, then it can't exist, right? right. so its mine. when you read about it in some v. influential journal someday, remember you heard it here first, kids.