if you were to come to our neighborhood, and you were the sort that was into drugstores - pharmacies - you would be in hog heaven. on your walk from the trains you would pass two rite-aids, two eckerds, and a duane reade. since i hate playing favorites, i have some rules that dictate which store i'll stop into. if i'm purchasing items i wouldn't want any normal person to see me with, i opt for rite-aid. that place is a mess and filled with crackheads who don't care about any mildly embarassing purchases. if i'm in a rush and want to ensure that i will find what i'm looking for in stock and in its proper aisle, i hit up duane reade. for basically any other needs, i go to eckerd. i have a special place for eckerd in my heart. not only because its the most aesthetically pleasing and enjoyable to pronouce drugstore name, but because a few summers ago a bunch of my friends took a weekend trip down to the shore and for some reason we took a liking to the massive - massive. like jurassic park sized - eckerd near our motel and literally spent about 1/3 of the weekend inside of it, purchasing snacks, drink mixers, developing the photos we took only hours earlier, and practically getting our hungover asses tossed out. so for nostalgia's sake, eckerd it typically is.
unfortunately the eckerd by me is a hellhole. the blemish on the good wholesome eckerd name. and crazy things are always happening inside. yet i still insist on giving it my business.
so i stopped into eckerd this afternoon. missy and bear were home anxiously waiting for me, in desperate need of snacks, so i made a beeline for the food area. as i was debating over which brand of sour gummy worms to purchase, i kept on having to do a little we're-in-each-other's-way shuffle with this older man who was inspecting the candy bar selection. so i decide to move over to the fridges and to do so i have to go in a circle around a shelving unit of cookies to get there. as i make my way round, the man is coming around the other way and i'm again in his way. so i sort of take a few steps backwards, snickering to myself. i suppose this made it look like i was trying to follow him, as then he about-faced and sort of came around in a circle behind me. i circled to move away, he followed again, and thus there we were doing this bizarre little dance around the maypole that was a cookie display.
after 2 rotations i realized i had to get away, and ran off to the fridges further down the aisle. he blessfully got the hint. so i got missy's diet pepsi's, and got on the entirely too long line. the woman in front of me was bickering with her daughter in another language, so i sort of spaced out and stared off at the Whitman's chocolate display. angry mother moved away from her daughter, and leaned into the display. within 30 seconds, the brightly-colored-yet-obviously-shabbily-constructed cardboard shelf she was leaning on collapsed, causing the woman to fall into the display and multiple boxes of chocolates to tumble off the shelf.
no longer angry, embarassed daughter helped mother put the boxes of whitman's back, while my eyes teared with laughter. little did i know more fun was in store during my wait to pay. now, part of the reason i think this eckerd is so insane is because its registers are poorly situated. so we were all lined up, awkwardly, along this one bank of registers. there was another shorter line at the other bank of registers, but as you had to walk around a few aisles to get there, we all just stayed put. mildly frustrating situation for the less patient. so a woman comes up behind me and inquires if this was the line, and a man a few people in front of me turns around and suggests she go around and over to the shorter line. suddenly, mother shouts "why are you saying that!" to the man. the man loudly retorts, and mother starts pointing and yelling in broken english about how he is wrong. and stupid. man yells back, mother continues shouting, frazzled manager emerges from behind register and asks everyone to please calm down or they'd have to leave. mind you, this is the SECOND yelling match i've been privy to while waiting on line at eckerd. if there are fisticuffs next time i'm in there, i'm giving up on all the other drugstores altogether.
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3 comments:
I love the drugstore drama! And I, too, have had one too many reportably bizarre encounters with strangers, celebrities, and animals in grocery and drug stores.
And when confronted by people and having to do the little side-step one way side-step the other way thing to avoid crashing, I always like to say "Wanna dance?". Makes it funny, less awkward, and at least a little flirty.
That is, if you WANT to flirt with your new buddy...
Cripo.
i love your stories. Even though i haven't commented recently i'm always checking up on you to see if you've been writing. I can just picture you in the middle of these places laughing to yourself. ti voglio bene.
I don't visit the CVS across the street from my apartment because in another life it was an old movie theater and I can't allow that. The CVS by my old place was awesome for the crackheads and shit late at night. Or late in the morning. We had to line up in an aisle and I loved watching everybody curse out the guys who didn't get that there was a line. I think I heard shithead in at least 4 different languages a night.
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