Monday, March 06, 2006

Ten More Things You Probably Wish You Didn't Hear About Missy&Chrissy

1. There are a striking number of similarities between Chrissy and Richard Lewis and we are not talking mere resemblance, entire habits and lifestyle routines are identical.

2. One of us is rumored to be emotionally inept and has recently been told by our mother after watching Hotel Rwanda and not crying, "Well maybe you actually do not have a heart."

3. It is impossible to make popcorn in our microwave without starting a fire or, at least, burning a good portion of the bag. However, this does not deter us at all (since Sissies never say die) and we go through about a pack a week, with a success rate of 1 out of every 3 attempt being nearly edible.

4. Items seem to randomly appear in our apt without explanation and then become impossible to dispose of. Try as we might, we just can not seem to get our guests to ingest/take home a large bag of sweettarts, a half-consumed bottle of soco (even when we offer kool-aid as a parting gift) and a bizarrely giant box of almond roca.

5. Mysteriously, every brand new, white hanes tee (wife-beater, Bensonhurst, thanks) that Missy puts away in her dresser reemerges with odd shaped holes in it, although everything else in the same drawer remains intact.

6. One of us has a ridiculously odd pair of (extremely large) red silk underpants with penguins in snowgear on them that she wears whenever it is time to do laundry and, more importantly, for reasons neither of us can comprehend, stick out above her pants no matter what major efforts are done to restrict these underpants.

7. A man dressed in Renaissance era minstrel garb, from bobbed wig down to pointed booties, once appeared outside our parents house and claimed to have grown up there prior to our family moving in. Said Minstrel then produced an antique camera and proceeded to randomly photograph the house and circle the grounds as Missy&Chrissy continued to unload the groceries.

8. Our mother takes a dance class once a week in which she learns ethnic dances with a partner named "Ivan."

9. One of us appears to be the kiss of death (or marriage, choose your poison) when it comes to relationships. The track record stands that four (count that, QUATTRO) ex's have married the girl they have immediately dated upon ending a relationship/courtship/open-ended-but-continual-promiscuity with one of us.

10. We refuse to use the self-service pumps at gas stations after an incident which began with two sisters struggling to get the pump to start and ended with them having to strip down in their parents foyer and deposit all articles of clothing in a bucket of lysol.

1 comment:

Junebugg said...

Y'all sound like a hoot (that's Southern for I'd like to party with you)