Monday, March 27, 2006

burgers, buses, being beastly

the shake shack is open again (thank goodness. and anyone who still hasn't been there, step away from your computer and run, no walking, to madison sq park. http://shakeshacknyc.com/index.html) and i couldn't be happier. there is nothing like stepping outside and smelling burgers. screw flowers and fresh cut grass - i want the odor of frying meat and grease to permeate my air. almost as exciting as when a guy smells really good. almost.

so although i love the shack (so much so that a friend printed me up a marriage license for the shack and i.) i had to pass it by today as i was in desperate need of wendy's. i don't know when in time this happened, but sometime during the past four years wendy's became the ONLY thing that could properly cure my hangovers. i think its psychosomatic at this point, but once i get that yellow packaging in my hand i'm able to function normally again. i know any sort of greasy food is supposed to work, but for me wendy's is the only cure. many many thanks to you, dave thomas.

so being hungover on a monday isn't all its cracked up to be, even though sundays were just made for relaxed boozing, HOWEVER, not when one is taking a few hour bus trip. sure it seems like the hours will fly by while you're wallowing in an alcohol-induced haze, but there are many hazardous situations that can arise along the way.(besides the general dizziness that comes from staring out the window whilst you're whizzing down the highway) for example, you may take too long at the rest stop (it was important. i needed those hot dog nuggets..) and almost have the bus leave without you. and the bus driver may yell at you for holding up the trip. and you might have to board the bus with everyone staring at you, knowing that you're the girl who just caused them to be stuck in their little 12"X12" seat for an extra 5 or 6 minutes. or you may continuously piss off the man next to you by not realizing that you are playing your music so loudly that he can't concentrate on his book. or you may forget that your ticket was taken at the start of the trip, and spend a good 3 hours silently congratulating yourself for scamming the bus company. then the next morning you'll discover the ticket stub in your bag and realize that yes, in fact you DID pay for the trip, silly girl. you were just too out of it to recall ever giving the driver your ticket. so i tell you this, dear readers, to warn you of the perils of traveling drunk. everyone's always worried about the drunk drivers, but maybe now its time to start a campaign to save the intoxicated passengers as well.

so an interesting postscript to this tale -- i was just informed that missy was guzzling a mixture of boone's and crystal palace gin all weekend, and managed to cause not even an 1/8 of the havoc that i did yesterday. rather bizarre. i guess sometimes two wrongs do make a right.



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