commemorating.

a day short, but i intend to spend most of tomorrow too hungover to type, but - happy unemployedaversary to me. can you believe it's been a year? i can't. it completely and utterly boggles my mind, although, i had a sneaking suspicion last year at this time (well, last year, 36 hours from now) that i would find myself here. 

and one of the things i've pondered most of late is whether that was just my pisces intuition at work or if i subconsciously caused this scenario. would the initial mindset of "oh hey, a little break. no worries." as opposed to "HOLY FREAKING SHIT - I AM NEVER GOING TO WORK AGAIN. I AM GOING TO BE POOR AND SAD FOREVER." have gotten me employed again within a neat little two months? does mindset have a hand in destiny? did i think myself to one year later, still no job and living back at my parents? is that possible? 

prescience or self-fulfilling prophecy is the wonderment that has turned my current bedtime into 3am. in my next life i would really, really, really like to become one of those people who thinks just a tad less. maybe 30% less self-awareness and i can go about my merry way. 

but besides becoming a tad more neurotic, i think i am doing kind of ok. there's been an awful lot of rough patches, but otherwise life has chugged along kind of normally, and if anything i'd like to believe that the experience of a hardship (for lack of a better word, as i do know that things could definitely be worse, and that there are millions in my current situation + much worse) such as this has helped me to develop some new positive behaviors that i wouldn't have had the insight to properly develop beforehand when nothing was really ever wrong besides the passing every day bs stuff that now i know doesn't matter. well, at least matters less. 

is this growing up? maybe life holding me by the ponytail and spanking me with the reality stick will have its benefits after all.