to whom it may concern.

dear mismatched denim wearer,

i'm sorry to take this out on you specifically, but this disturbing phenomenon has been causing severe pain to my eyes for years, and as the (and i shudder to call it this, but can't think of another term at the moment) trend's been out of control this season, i felt it was time to take immediate action.

i felt physically ill today when you walked past me in your sand-blasted jeans and indigo-rinse jacket.

how did you leave the house thinking it was a good idea to wear jeans and a jean jacket at the same time? were you hoping to confuse everyone into thinking that the two totally different shades of denim are the same? because thats JUST AS BAD! would you wear a pair of fur pants when you go out in a fur coat? if you're not on your way to an audition as an extra for CATS, then my guess is your answer is no. so why can't you apply this elementary logic to denim as well?

what baffles me even more is, and i do not at all mean to insult your income here, but if you can only afford one jacket (which is the only excuse i'll allow; then you have no choice but to wear it when you wear your jeans. and i therefore apologize, and you can rip up this letter and chalk it up to the fact that i'm a cranky woman who hasn't got her bacon fix in over a week), why would you pick a denim one? aren't they harder to come by than other types of jackets? think ahead, what if you have to attend an interview or a funeral? denim would be inappropriate. what if there's a spring shower, wouldn't you want to own something with a hood? right, you would. which would mean you would own more than one jacket, meaning you can wear your other one when your jeans are on. wear a hooded zip-up, a poncho, a paper bag - i promise you it'll look better when paired with your jeans. your denim jacket can be matched with so many other materials - from sweat pants to gypsy skirts to dress pants - it won't go to waste. so please, save it for another day.

thanks and bests,
chrissy