Monday, April 24, 2006

There's a wind-up man walking round and round...

Do you remember the movie Return to Oz? if you answered yes, skip down to paragraph 4. my bet is that the majority of you answered no, and i wouldn't be surprised as it seems like whenever sissy and i bring it up no one ever knows what we're talking about (with the exception of the Scissor Sisters, who actually wrote a song about the movie, which is reason #17 why we love the band so damn much!)

so RTO, as the title so nicely suggests, involves Dorothy's return to Oz where, of course, drama and hijinks ensue. as the wicked witch from the first movie (which, by the way, i never enjoyed. judy garland always bothered me, which is somewhat ironic as there's been a few instances lately where, when wasted and taking photos in a cab, i wind up coming out in the pics looking a lot like her daughter, liza minelli. which is scary, i know, and if there's anything that'll get me on the wagon, that'll be it...)is no longer around, the sequel is brimming with new villains, much scarier than the old witch in the crappy green face paint. evildoers so disturbing to children (well, children like us) that sissy and i have been scarred since our first viewing.

the main villain in RTO is Princess Mombi, who can take her head off and interchange it with one of the numerous women's heads she keeps locked up in see-through cabinets in a room in her palace. these heads are alive in the cabinets, and howl with scary banshee wails when Dorothy tries to steal one of them. (what? yea, there’s a talking chicken too…I swear it’s a good movie). although the mid-80's special effects could only make these disembodied heads look somewhat real, it always managed to freak us out.

so this morning i get on the local bus and actually get a seat - the elderly must have stayed home due to the rain - and as i'm leaning over struggling with my umbrella i look up and come face-to-face with a mannequin head. of course all i can think of is RTO and while i'm on a crowded bus, in the middle of daylight, and, as a rational human being, should know that this is not the removable head of an evil princess who doesn't exist, i can't help but get startled and jump in my seat.

turns out, there is no cause for alarm. the (inanimate. whew.) head is dangling from the hand of a girl whom i would assume to be some sort of hairdresser-in-training, as it is showing off a fancy set of cornrows. as I’ve now calmed down, I inspect the head (couldn’t she have put it in a bag?? a. it was raining, and b. the girl looked like a psycho, carrying this head around like a proud guillotine operator) and discover that it also has a nose piercing. Can mannequins come with body jewelry? Did this girl pierce the nose herself to make the head more hip? Did that mean the head was hollow, or was the stud just glued on? I was utterly amazed. Never did the thought of mannequin piercings ever cross my mind before.

Suffice to say, thanks to this creepy yet wonderfully unique experience on the Q101, I think I’m finally over one of my RTO fears. sometimes a disembodied mannequin’s head is just that. it won’t come alive and shriek at me, nor alert it’s headless master to my presence, causing it to chase me around a castle. next up, helping sissy conquer her fear of parking garages, stemming from the RTO villains, the wheelers.

because you desperately need to know more about this film --

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