product review #1: beauty edition

even though its clearly stated over yonder ( <--- )that this is a chronicle of our 'adventures', even i get a little - just a little - tired of reading about myself sometimes. and although we're sure you're aware by now, dear readers, that you're not checking out our site for discourses on our current political climate (and if you are, you may find that our tales of falling pines, minstrels, and stuffed bears actually make more sense...), i'm sure even you need a little change of pace. variety is the spice of life. ("is it? i thought it was oregano. no wonder my life sucks." - found that quote in a comic in the NY Press years ago and have been waiting for a time to use it...)

that said, i figured i'd do a product review and clue you kids in to some phenomenal new goodies i've found. to enhance your lives and whatnot. i'm not one of those "product whore" girls - my face will never come off on your pillow - so for me to be swooning over beauty products means that they're pretty damn good.

so you know how sometimes you just smell so good that you want to make out with yourself? (no, i don't mean it in the Divinyls one-hit-wonder sense...if you don't know what i mean, then perhaps you should invest in some nicer smelling products. just saying.) well, Herbal Essence's Blackberry, Avocado, Mango conditioner is the sorta stuff that'll do that to ya. now, please don't think that i'm one of those woman who's fallen prey to HE's ridiculous "organic experience" campaign. as a matter of fact, i'm more inclined to NOT buy HE products, simply because they insist on making the women fake orgasm so loudly (please. there's never a need to be that loud, no matter how good he may be.) in their dumbass commercials.

so when you look at what HE has stacked against it in my book (i'm a big fan of boycotts), its really a testament to the power of their Blackberry, Avocado, Mango conditioner that i'm this much in love with it. as for the chemical components and whether or not its beneficial to my hair and/or would be good for yours, i really can't help ya (what a great critic i am) - i mean, i don't have split ends but that's just as much attributed to my wonderful haircutter as it is to the silkening agents in the conditioner. so what you want to buy this one for is the scent-sational showering experience. i swear missy may find me in the bathroom one day drinking it.

up next is the most fantastic thing to happen to lips since the invention of the kiss. now let me preface this review by saying - i AM a lip balm whore. i am. i admit it. i can't get enough. i'm addicted to it, and if a NY Chapter of BA (balm'ers anonymous) starts up, i need to join. i daresay this abusing of the balm stems from my fidgety nature, and i suppose re-applying lip gunk 100x a day keeps my hand free from more harmful hand-movement activities, like smoking, random inappropriate slapping, or sucking my thumb.

anyways. so i've tried them all: chapstick (eh), carmex (great, but non-aesthetically pleasing), kiehl's (superb), bigelow (minty-licious, but a little too tacky), etc etc. recently, a friend tipped me off to Benefit's lipscription, and i don't think i can ever turn back. lipscription is more than a mere stick of balm - its a lip experience. it comes in two-parts - one tube filled with lip exfoliator, the other with the silkiest balm ever. those little buffer beads will find dry patches you didn't even know you had, and the balm, even on its own, is fabulous. seriously, your lips won't know what hit them.

so there you have it. chrissy says run, don't walk, to the nearest drug store/makeup counter and purchase HE's blackberry, avocado, mango conditioner & benefit's lipscription. oh yea, and some mango body butter (my third obsession, but no need for a review, as those three words alone - mango. body. butter. - should do it for ya). your body will thank you. (see? and you thought we were only good for your mind and soul...)