the following exchange took place outside my house this afternoon:
scene: my father is on our property, fixing our front porch. the mailman shows up. they exchange mundane small talk, and mailman hands my father today's mail.
mailman: oh, hey, does the garbage in this neighborhood get picked up on tuesday?
father: yes. (probably makes strange face at strange question)
mailman: oh ok. thanks - i know you're retired from the sanitation department, so i figured you would know. (turns to exit through gate)
father: (pauses. thinks.) hey. how did you remember i worked for sanitation? i don't remember us talking about it, and if we did it had to have been awhile ago.
mailman: oh, i deliver your mail. i know everything about everyone!
what a creep!
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Thursday, October 01, 2009
buy my crap!
in the spirit of fully embracing this new suburban life that i'm leading i hosted a yard sale (garage sale, stoop sale, rummage sale, moving sale - whatever you'd like to call it) a few weekends ago, a necessary event given the amount of tired old crap that missy and i didn't want anymore that i dragged back here with me from my apartment. and adding that to the tired old crap my parents already had, plus the tired old crap i'd been depositing here the past six years while i acquired shiny new crap in queens...and, well, you get the picture. that's a lot of junk. it was actually a whole room full of junk, as my mother starting stashing it all in our spare bedroom and within weeks the room was packed to the gills.
so we put a notice in the local paper*, made some bright yellow "YARD SALE ----->" signs, and set up shop one sunny september saturday morning. business was brisk, and as with any situation where you'd interact with a volume of customers, our yard was home to quite a cast of characters that day, from the annoying to the surprising (a fossil of an old woman, who hobbled into the yard on the arm of an elderly friend. we almost collapsed in giggles as she passed by the table of knickknacks, making a beeline for the tool section. she left with a bag containing a giant wrench, a screwdriver, and a wood sander. i really wanted to follow her home to see what on earth she did with them).
but the most entertaining moment of the day came from a pair of young neighbors across the street. about 2/3 through our sale we noticed the little boys hanging a sign on a pole right beneath our yard sale sign.
competition!
as i crossed the street to inspect it, we realized it was a sign for their yard sale - and looking over to their lawn, we noticed them dragging toys and clothes out of the house and laying them all over the lawn. it was cutely hilarious. but our rivalry was short-lived, as about 15 minutes later they came over to our yard, complaining that they weren't getting any business. a quick lesson in yard sale 101 ensued.
in the end, after crushing our elementary-school competition and selling off more than half of all the stuff we had out, it turned out to be a rather successful day. if only there was a market for yard sale consultants, i'd totally be in business.
*while initially discussing plans for the sale, i suggested to my parents that we should have snacks for shoppers. i even offered to bake my famous brownies. ever the cynics - "snacks?? who has snacks?!" they scoffed - they quickly shot down the idea. lo and behold, when i checked out my ad in the paper - one of the loveliest ads that weekend, i might add - a neighboring ad boasted, in bold, imposing newsprint, FREE COOKIES!
i guarantee the 'free cookies' yard sale had record crowds.
so we put a notice in the local paper*, made some bright yellow "YARD SALE ----->" signs, and set up shop one sunny september saturday morning. business was brisk, and as with any situation where you'd interact with a volume of customers, our yard was home to quite a cast of characters that day, from the annoying to the surprising (a fossil of an old woman, who hobbled into the yard on the arm of an elderly friend. we almost collapsed in giggles as she passed by the table of knickknacks, making a beeline for the tool section. she left with a bag containing a giant wrench, a screwdriver, and a wood sander. i really wanted to follow her home to see what on earth she did with them).
but the most entertaining moment of the day came from a pair of young neighbors across the street. about 2/3 through our sale we noticed the little boys hanging a sign on a pole right beneath our yard sale sign.
competition!as i crossed the street to inspect it, we realized it was a sign for their yard sale - and looking over to their lawn, we noticed them dragging toys and clothes out of the house and laying them all over the lawn. it was cutely hilarious. but our rivalry was short-lived, as about 15 minutes later they came over to our yard, complaining that they weren't getting any business. a quick lesson in yard sale 101 ensued.
in the end, after crushing our elementary-school competition and selling off more than half of all the stuff we had out, it turned out to be a rather successful day. if only there was a market for yard sale consultants, i'd totally be in business.
*while initially discussing plans for the sale, i suggested to my parents that we should have snacks for shoppers. i even offered to bake my famous brownies. ever the cynics - "snacks?? who has snacks?!" they scoffed - they quickly shot down the idea. lo and behold, when i checked out my ad in the paper - one of the loveliest ads that weekend, i might add - a neighboring ad boasted, in bold, imposing newsprint, FREE COOKIES!
i guarantee the 'free cookies' yard sale had record crowds.
Monday, September 28, 2009
cryptic text messages from my father, and other stories from the homestead.
as you may or may not know, i recently moved back in with my parents. while i still slightly shudder when telling this to people, the adjustment, in general, is chugging along somewhat more smoothly than i had thought. i'm not saying this is at all ideal, and after three weeks i still wake up every morning thinking what the hell has happened to me, but if you had to choose a set of parents to live with, mine most definitely are not the worst of the lot. they're actually pretty great - helpful, benevolent, non-obtrusive, little-to-no psychosis - and are turning out to be the most useful roommates* i've ever had.
there's also the unintentional hilarity that they provide. while no stranger to living in a realm of constant ridiculousness after all the nonsense that missy, bear, and i pulled during the past few years, it's gone to a whole new level in dealing everyday with the folks. there are the notes my mother leaves for me every morning when she leaves for work, the shouts of, "chris, are you ok?!" every single time i drop something (which, as i'm learning living in a place where it's acknowledged every time i drop something, is pretty damn often), the regular discussions that start with "you didn't used to do that when you were younger" that have me defending everything from the amount of water i use when i wash dishes to the fact that i shuffle around when i wear slippers and leave windows open when it's raining outside. and then of course there is the rediscovery of the divide between my peers and those of an earlier generation.
for instance, my father, an intelligent man but nevertheless from a less technologically advanced era, cannot text message for the life of him. so he's taken to answering my texts with random letters and words, so i "at least know he's received them", and sending them to me when he wants me to call him back. last night i received an "MI" (which, as it turned out, was just an attempt at replying "OK") and, later in the evening (when, embarrassingly enough, my bar companions took me checking my phone and smirking, at such a late hour, to mean i had received a booty call) a miscellaneous "MOON". no guys, seriously, it's just my dad sending over his typographical bat signals.
on the flip side, i'm also learning that although in their early 50's they are surpassing me in some surprising realms. like fitness, as i discovered the other day when i decided to do my mother's workout video with her. she marched into the room with two sets of weights and informed me that i could use the 1lb weights while she would use the 3lb ones.
my arms are still sore. hers, not so much.
****
i had taken a bit of a siesta from good old loveandcyanide because i felt i had lost my muse, and had veered off from our original theme, and i wasn't quite sure what to do with it anymore...but i'm thinking living with the parents will provide me with enough fodder for awhile.
there's also the unintentional hilarity that they provide. while no stranger to living in a realm of constant ridiculousness after all the nonsense that missy, bear, and i pulled during the past few years, it's gone to a whole new level in dealing everyday with the folks. there are the notes my mother leaves for me every morning when she leaves for work, the shouts of, "chris, are you ok?!" every single time i drop something (which, as i'm learning living in a place where it's acknowledged every time i drop something, is pretty damn often), the regular discussions that start with "you didn't used to do that when you were younger" that have me defending everything from the amount of water i use when i wash dishes to the fact that i shuffle around when i wear slippers and leave windows open when it's raining outside. and then of course there is the rediscovery of the divide between my peers and those of an earlier generation.
for instance, my father, an intelligent man but nevertheless from a less technologically advanced era, cannot text message for the life of him. so he's taken to answering my texts with random letters and words, so i "at least know he's received them", and sending them to me when he wants me to call him back. last night i received an "MI" (which, as it turned out, was just an attempt at replying "OK") and, later in the evening (when, embarrassingly enough, my bar companions took me checking my phone and smirking, at such a late hour, to mean i had received a booty call) a miscellaneous "MOON". no guys, seriously, it's just my dad sending over his typographical bat signals.
on the flip side, i'm also learning that although in their early 50's they are surpassing me in some surprising realms. like fitness, as i discovered the other day when i decided to do my mother's workout video with her. she marched into the room with two sets of weights and informed me that i could use the 1lb weights while she would use the 3lb ones.
my arms are still sore. hers, not so much.
****
i had taken a bit of a siesta from good old loveandcyanide because i felt i had lost my muse, and had veered off from our original theme, and i wasn't quite sure what to do with it anymore...but i'm thinking living with the parents will provide me with enough fodder for awhile.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
things fall apart.
my ipod (i think) broke earlier today - i say "i think" since you can never be too sure with those things. although since it turned itself off earlier today, when i do turn it on it is making an unnatural whirring noise and the little graphic that comes up is of a little caution sign with a sad-faced ipod standing next to it (right, everyone else who i relayed this to told me they never saw such a screen either), so things don't seem very promising - which is wildly distressing because beyond the fact that i'm not particularly in the market for new electronic equipment at the moment, i also only possess about a third of the music on it on my current computer.
which means if i do have to get a new pod i am going to be spending MANY hours holed up with all my old CDs. let's hope those apple store workers are actually magicians, not just geniuses.
******
speaking of genius (or those that fall slightly short), i've been noticing a disturbing new trend during my trips to the beach this summer - pillows. bed pillows, couch pillows - those soft, squishy square things are on the beach. is laying on one's beach towel not cushy enough that people need to tote their bedding along to get comfortable in the sand?? i understand that we lay on blankets on the beach and in parks, but the pillow brings it to a bizarre new level. unless those folks have particular beach pillows...imagine trying to get all that sand out of your bed?
which means if i do have to get a new pod i am going to be spending MANY hours holed up with all my old CDs. let's hope those apple store workers are actually magicians, not just geniuses.
******
speaking of genius (or those that fall slightly short), i've been noticing a disturbing new trend during my trips to the beach this summer - pillows. bed pillows, couch pillows - those soft, squishy square things are on the beach. is laying on one's beach towel not cushy enough that people need to tote their bedding along to get comfortable in the sand?? i understand that we lay on blankets on the beach and in parks, but the pillow brings it to a bizarre new level. unless those folks have particular beach pillows...imagine trying to get all that sand out of your bed?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
dispatches from the beach - belated edition.
we had mentioned awhile back - before the great disappearance of '09 - that we were going on our annual summer shore trip to long beach island. well we did, and as always we had a great time. this year was filled with standard lbi fun - boozing on the beach all day, grilling up a storm at night - and some nice surprises - like discovering a ridiculously good sushi place on an island full of fried fish shacks and ice cream stands - but oddly enough our most interesting tale from the trip is one of horror.
*****
our very first day in the house that we rented started off rather frantically - as first days often go - as 14 of us showed up at the house around noon, eager to get our vacation on. mass unpacking ensued, and as it was our most crowded night, and we were having a big first night 4th of july bbq, you can imagine how much we were all tripping over each other getting the kitchen set up/bedrooms assigned/luggage stowed away etc.
what you might not imagine is that during this the kids from the neighboring house were all over our property. brief back story: the home we were renting for the week and the house next door to it were owned by joint families - the family in the house next door had apparently been staying in our house the week before (that didn't make much sense at the time, and still doesn't now), and so for the first hour or two that we were there unpacking, some of the neighbors were still removing their belongings from our yard. they were friendly enough, and were trading beers with us, so at first we didn't care about their kids all too much.
however, by the time we were starting up our bbq festivities that evening, we started noticing the two kids still randomly around - in our backyard bushes looking for their toys, attacking one of our trees with a butterfly net, even standing on our front porch telling us the key code to unlock the front door. finding them slightly annoying, and the latter incident more than slightly disturbing, we decided that if they kept hanging around we'd go complain. but thankfully they disappeared, and the next few hours were spent playing lawn games, watching fireworks, and toasting to our nation's independence.
fast forward to bedtime, much later that night - five of us are having a slumber party in the living room, sprawled out amongst an air mattress and three couches. after chatting for a bit, we all quiet down and start passing out. suddenly, from across the room one of my friends hisses, "there's someone at our front door!" being on the couch perpendicular to and closest to the door, i open my eyes to see a shadow looming on the wall. a rather short shadow, but a human shape nonetheless.
as my friend continued to more loudly and urgently whisper to the rest of us that there is indeed a child at the front door, images of the children of the corn run through my mind. we then hear the screen door open and the front door starts rattling, and the three of us females in the room are now yelping in fright. just as the front door is about to be pushed in, the two guys in the room bound over to it and yank it open, revealing one of the little monsters from earlier in the day.
after asking what the hell he was doing trying to enter our house in the middle of the night, we were informed that he had left his stuffed animals in the attic room, and could he go get them? the rascal received a resounding NO and a brief lecture about how adults go to sleep at night and you can't just barge into their house to sneak into their rooms and retrieve your toys. the little imp continued to whine about his toys, but the guys firmly told him to come back in the morning, ring the bell like a normal, mannered person would, and he could look for them then.
the next day stuffed animals were found in the attic, and so we returned them and tattled on the little brat. suffice to say we didn't see him on our property for the rest of the trip.
*****
our very first day in the house that we rented started off rather frantically - as first days often go - as 14 of us showed up at the house around noon, eager to get our vacation on. mass unpacking ensued, and as it was our most crowded night, and we were having a big first night 4th of july bbq, you can imagine how much we were all tripping over each other getting the kitchen set up/bedrooms assigned/luggage stowed away etc.
what you might not imagine is that during this the kids from the neighboring house were all over our property. brief back story: the home we were renting for the week and the house next door to it were owned by joint families - the family in the house next door had apparently been staying in our house the week before (that didn't make much sense at the time, and still doesn't now), and so for the first hour or two that we were there unpacking, some of the neighbors were still removing their belongings from our yard. they were friendly enough, and were trading beers with us, so at first we didn't care about their kids all too much.
however, by the time we were starting up our bbq festivities that evening, we started noticing the two kids still randomly around - in our backyard bushes looking for their toys, attacking one of our trees with a butterfly net, even standing on our front porch telling us the key code to unlock the front door. finding them slightly annoying, and the latter incident more than slightly disturbing, we decided that if they kept hanging around we'd go complain. but thankfully they disappeared, and the next few hours were spent playing lawn games, watching fireworks, and toasting to our nation's independence.
fast forward to bedtime, much later that night - five of us are having a slumber party in the living room, sprawled out amongst an air mattress and three couches. after chatting for a bit, we all quiet down and start passing out. suddenly, from across the room one of my friends hisses, "there's someone at our front door!" being on the couch perpendicular to and closest to the door, i open my eyes to see a shadow looming on the wall. a rather short shadow, but a human shape nonetheless.
as my friend continued to more loudly and urgently whisper to the rest of us that there is indeed a child at the front door, images of the children of the corn run through my mind. we then hear the screen door open and the front door starts rattling, and the three of us females in the room are now yelping in fright. just as the front door is about to be pushed in, the two guys in the room bound over to it and yank it open, revealing one of the little monsters from earlier in the day.
after asking what the hell he was doing trying to enter our house in the middle of the night, we were informed that he had left his stuffed animals in the attic room, and could he go get them? the rascal received a resounding NO and a brief lecture about how adults go to sleep at night and you can't just barge into their house to sneak into their rooms and retrieve your toys. the little imp continued to whine about his toys, but the guys firmly told him to come back in the morning, ring the bell like a normal, mannered person would, and he could look for them then.
the next day stuffed animals were found in the attic, and so we returned them and tattled on the little brat. suffice to say we didn't see him on our property for the rest of the trip.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
dispatches from the park - belated edition.
during the month of june i did quite a bit of shakespeare production-watching in parks. by 'quite a bit' i mean two separate performances, but really, how much shakespeare does one watch nowadays anyway? especially within a 10-day period.
first up was a local effort - a community college production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo + Juliet (double whammy) at our neighborhood beer garden. enjoying some beer and sausages while watching people in homemade fairy costumes flit about the trees around the garden was perhaps one of the most surrealistically entertaining things i've done in awhile.
we upgraded a bit for the next show, which was the city's 'official' shakespearean show of the season, Central Park's production, which this year was Twelfth Night. which was awesome, especially when night had just fallen, and a giant raccoon lumbered across the stage in the shadows. we love raccoons! (at safe distances)
for those of you not familiar with the procedure, there's a bit of an ado (teehee) about the whole SITP production every year since there are usually a few big names in the cast, the show only runs for a few weeks, and tickets are free. so basically it's like seeing a fancy limited-run broadway show for nothing. although, as i was reminded that day, nothing is ever truly free. instead of spending cash, one spends their time on a line in the park, waiting patiently and hopefully that they are close enough to the front of the line to snag a ticket. about 800 tickets are given out, but usually, especially for weekend productions, thousands of folks queue up. they will get there when the park opens at 5am and wait all day long. craziness.
i was one of those folks this year. being i had a bit of extra time on my hands this year, i told missy that part of her bday present would be seeing twelfth night, since we've always wanted to go see a SITP production, and our one other attempt a few summers back had us about 200 people beyond where they stopped handing out tickets. this time, we took it much more seriously, and so off i went, that wednesday morning, in the rain, at 8am, to hang out in line for 5 hours until they started giving out tickets at 1pm.
it wasn't as bad as it could have been - i parked myself on a blanket under a nice leafy tree, had some snacks, and completed a depressingly interesting book about heroin addiction. it was rather peaceful. at first.
my tree.
the puddle babbling brook next to my camp.
but the tranquility was short lived. moreso than the ants and the gnats that had taken a liking to me and my blanket, the human interruptions throughout my wait were the most interesting/annoying. it started off with the man on the bike peddling his diverse wares up and down the line: starbucks coffee, sandwiches, magazines, hats, menus from local delis and renting lawn chairs. ingenious! if i actually rode a bike i'd probably do that for a living as i'm sure that man makes more a day than i ever have. he was the most popular person in that section of the park, with line-goers around me calling him over every time he appeared near our section of the queue. i even contemplated renting a chair from him so i could switch off from blanket to chair, but then my bedbug worries got the best of me. i'd take my chances with the ants.
next to roll down the path was our 'guide' for the day, dan, a theater worker who strolled around making announcements, answering questions, and constantly reciting the SITP 'rules' of ticket-getting. to not sound too much like a drill sergeant barking orders at us, he also make lame jokes. emphasis on the 'lame' part. after dan appeared the "can i ask you a question" folks swooped in, wielding clipboards and pens and desperately wanting our signatures for whatever stupid issue they were attempting to get on a ballot. i usually run in the opposite direction from those guys, but here i was a sitting duck. blessfully, the stupid tourists on the blanket next to me chatted him up for 20 minutes so i had time to put my headphones on, roll over and pretend to take a nap.
finally, towards the last hour of my wait i started hearing some distant melodic sounds wafting through the park. how nice, i thought, the theater blasts shakespeare-appropriate instrumental tunes to get us in the spirit for the show this evening. as the music progressively became louder, and i realized i was listening to something from Cats, i looked up the path and spotted this guy:
i wasn't surprised to see the flute, but i was to see an entire music stand, although at this point i still assumed he was part of the theater's 'waiting in line entertainment'. but no, as he moved closer to my patch of parkland, mr. flutist did his spiel about it being a recession and he appreciated any donations. while my heart does go out to others affected by the economic downturn and i did marvel then at the fact that he lugged that stupid music stand through the park, he launched into the 'battle hymn of the republic' and i decided he was a pest. first show tunes and now historical american songs? i'm waiting in line to see shakespeare and you, sir, have a flute....play some lilting Elizabethan stuff!
first up was a local effort - a community college production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo + Juliet (double whammy) at our neighborhood beer garden. enjoying some beer and sausages while watching people in homemade fairy costumes flit about the trees around the garden was perhaps one of the most surrealistically entertaining things i've done in awhile.
we upgraded a bit for the next show, which was the city's 'official' shakespearean show of the season, Central Park's production, which this year was Twelfth Night. which was awesome, especially when night had just fallen, and a giant raccoon lumbered across the stage in the shadows. we love raccoons! (at safe distances)
for those of you not familiar with the procedure, there's a bit of an ado (teehee) about the whole SITP production every year since there are usually a few big names in the cast, the show only runs for a few weeks, and tickets are free. so basically it's like seeing a fancy limited-run broadway show for nothing. although, as i was reminded that day, nothing is ever truly free. instead of spending cash, one spends their time on a line in the park, waiting patiently and hopefully that they are close enough to the front of the line to snag a ticket. about 800 tickets are given out, but usually, especially for weekend productions, thousands of folks queue up. they will get there when the park opens at 5am and wait all day long. craziness.
i was one of those folks this year. being i had a bit of extra time on my hands this year, i told missy that part of her bday present would be seeing twelfth night, since we've always wanted to go see a SITP production, and our one other attempt a few summers back had us about 200 people beyond where they stopped handing out tickets. this time, we took it much more seriously, and so off i went, that wednesday morning, in the rain, at 8am, to hang out in line for 5 hours until they started giving out tickets at 1pm.
it wasn't as bad as it could have been - i parked myself on a blanket under a nice leafy tree, had some snacks, and completed a depressingly interesting book about heroin addiction. it was rather peaceful. at first.
my tree.
the but the tranquility was short lived. moreso than the ants and the gnats that had taken a liking to me and my blanket, the human interruptions throughout my wait were the most interesting/annoying. it started off with the man on the bike peddling his diverse wares up and down the line: starbucks coffee, sandwiches, magazines, hats, menus from local delis and renting lawn chairs. ingenious! if i actually rode a bike i'd probably do that for a living as i'm sure that man makes more a day than i ever have. he was the most popular person in that section of the park, with line-goers around me calling him over every time he appeared near our section of the queue. i even contemplated renting a chair from him so i could switch off from blanket to chair, but then my bedbug worries got the best of me. i'd take my chances with the ants.
next to roll down the path was our 'guide' for the day, dan, a theater worker who strolled around making announcements, answering questions, and constantly reciting the SITP 'rules' of ticket-getting. to not sound too much like a drill sergeant barking orders at us, he also make lame jokes. emphasis on the 'lame' part. after dan appeared the "can i ask you a question" folks swooped in, wielding clipboards and pens and desperately wanting our signatures for whatever stupid issue they were attempting to get on a ballot. i usually run in the opposite direction from those guys, but here i was a sitting duck. blessfully, the stupid tourists on the blanket next to me chatted him up for 20 minutes so i had time to put my headphones on, roll over and pretend to take a nap.
finally, towards the last hour of my wait i started hearing some distant melodic sounds wafting through the park. how nice, i thought, the theater blasts shakespeare-appropriate instrumental tunes to get us in the spirit for the show this evening. as the music progressively became louder, and i realized i was listening to something from Cats, i looked up the path and spotted this guy:
i wasn't surprised to see the flute, but i was to see an entire music stand, although at this point i still assumed he was part of the theater's 'waiting in line entertainment'. but no, as he moved closer to my patch of parkland, mr. flutist did his spiel about it being a recession and he appreciated any donations. while my heart does go out to others affected by the economic downturn and i did marvel then at the fact that he lugged that stupid music stand through the park, he launched into the 'battle hymn of the republic' and i decided he was a pest. first show tunes and now historical american songs? i'm waiting in line to see shakespeare and you, sir, have a flute....play some lilting Elizabethan stuff!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
gummy breakfasts, and other revolting stories.
i'm not sure if toddlers usually submit recipes to recipe sites - if so, i'd like to believe that one is responsible for this one:
ick.
quite possibly the grossest thing i've read on the internets in awhile.
*******
so it HAS been awhile. even longer than my typical whiles. beyond my inexplicable inability to post these past few months, we've also been psychotically preoccupied of late after coming home from our vacation. why? well, i'm finally ready for the big reveal....
....
missy and i are moving. apart! so loveandcyanide will be living separately for the first time in its little existence. please, dear readers, don't fret that things will get even slower around here, since well, they can't, and also we all know that missy has only been here in spirit for some time now so this isn't changing too much. of course she's taking my furry little webmaster with her, so perhaps i'll have to cut back on the photo postings.
but i'm happy to report the 'big split' is going fine thus far, although we haven't gotten very deep into the difficult part yet -- divvying up the books and shoes. we share most things, but those two realms are where there is the most overlap. and although we have enough of both books and shoes to enrich/clothe an entire small nation, you know us well enough by now to know that we will still be fighting tooth and nail for some of the same ones. we used to so love playing 'library' when we were children, that i'm hoping we can institute a lending system for all our shared belongings now. i will go so far as to stamp items with a due date.
*******
so where am i going, you ask? well, due to all the unfortunate circumstances of the past year i am taking a temporary sojourn from paying rent and taking refuge at my parents' for a short while as i continue to try to get my act together. while you gasp in horror i'll admit that while i'm not 1000% thrilled with this, i am kinda proud of myself for attempting to be prudent (for once). also on the plus side is that i'm gaining a car, a pool, two drivers, a cleaning lady, a cook, in-house laundry facilities and a constantly stocked refrigerator. when i put it that way - and ignore absolutely everything else - it sounds downright peachy.
ick.
quite possibly the grossest thing i've read on the internets in awhile.
*******
so it HAS been awhile. even longer than my typical whiles. beyond my inexplicable inability to post these past few months, we've also been psychotically preoccupied of late after coming home from our vacation. why? well, i'm finally ready for the big reveal....
....
missy and i are moving. apart! so loveandcyanide will be living separately for the first time in its little existence. please, dear readers, don't fret that things will get even slower around here, since well, they can't, and also we all know that missy has only been here in spirit for some time now so this isn't changing too much. of course she's taking my furry little webmaster with her, so perhaps i'll have to cut back on the photo postings.
but i'm happy to report the 'big split' is going fine thus far, although we haven't gotten very deep into the difficult part yet -- divvying up the books and shoes. we share most things, but those two realms are where there is the most overlap. and although we have enough of both books and shoes to enrich/clothe an entire small nation, you know us well enough by now to know that we will still be fighting tooth and nail for some of the same ones. we used to so love playing 'library' when we were children, that i'm hoping we can institute a lending system for all our shared belongings now. i will go so far as to stamp items with a due date.
*******
so where am i going, you ask? well, due to all the unfortunate circumstances of the past year i am taking a temporary sojourn from paying rent and taking refuge at my parents' for a short while as i continue to try to get my act together. while you gasp in horror i'll admit that while i'm not 1000% thrilled with this, i am kinda proud of myself for attempting to be prudent (for once). also on the plus side is that i'm gaining a car, a pool, two drivers, a cleaning lady, a cook, in-house laundry facilities and a constantly stocked refrigerator. when i put it that way - and ignore absolutely everything else - it sounds downright peachy.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
summerizing.
as i am certain i've mentioned around here before, i tend to find myself on year(s) long hunts for particular items - nude lipsticks, alarm clocks. in the past two weeks i've managed to successfully put an end to not one but TWO seemingly endless searches of mine - i found the perfect gray bag, something i have been on the lookout for for about three years, and my dream ring tone - the 'breakfast theme' from pee-wee's big adventure. (it makes for an awesome, if not slightly jarring, alarm ring as well. but feeling like pee-wee every morning compensates for that)
it may have rained just about every day last month, but this will go on record as a phenomenal june for those two reasons alone.
******
but, erm, june has passed. goodness, time flies! and so it's july, early july, which means we're heading away for our annual week down the shore for some much needed R&R. i haven't been on more than an overnight trip since october - despicable! - and am therefore beyond thrilled to escapelife town for a bit. a week of nothing more than the sun, bbq, and giant crab legs should do me some good.
it may have rained just about every day last month, but this will go on record as a phenomenal june for those two reasons alone.
******
but, erm, june has passed. goodness, time flies! and so it's july, early july, which means we're heading away for our annual week down the shore for some much needed R&R. i haven't been on more than an overnight trip since october - despicable! - and am therefore beyond thrilled to escape
Saturday, June 20, 2009
parking hazards.
i've been keeping my car with me at our apartment pretty frequently these days (you may be wondering why i don't keep it all the time if it's mine. well the car is mine (and missy's) as in we-drive-it-but-don't-want-to-pay-insurance-for-it-so-it-sits-at-our-parents'), which is nice, because i've gotten to take some fun little jaunts around queens. having somewhat switched teams from neighborhood pedestrian to neighborhood motorist, i've now become privy to lots of stuff around here that i typically don't notice. like no parking signs. "no parking due to tree pruning" signs.
seriously.
i've been driving around the five boroughs of NYC for 12 years (eek!) now and honestly never saw anything like this before. i thought it was a joke at first. people actually prune the public trees?! in the outer-boroughs, no less?!
well, turns out they do. when i returned to move my car the next day, this sight was waiting for me:
that's some major pruning.
seriously.
i've been driving around the five boroughs of NYC for 12 years (eek!) now and honestly never saw anything like this before. i thought it was a joke at first. people actually prune the public trees?! in the outer-boroughs, no less?!
well, turns out they do. when i returned to move my car the next day, this sight was waiting for me:
that's some major pruning.thank goodness i had taken the sign seriously enough to park across the street.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
catching up.
i'm thinking i'm going to stop with the whole day-countdown thing i started. clearly i can't handle the daily photo duties anymore, and its gotten to the point where i avoid even looking at my poor little blog since i don't have a snapshot of the day to contribute. all wrong. plus i have all these weird random shots of nothingness on my camera (that i just never bother to upload) and so when friends are looking through the photos i inevitably hear "um, hey, what is this picture of yogurt for?"
embarrassing.
and so, a few odds and ends from the past week or so.
in the supermarket this weekend i overheard a fellow customer ask for assistance in the produce aisle by shouting "excuse me, mr. produce man" to the shoprite worker stacking tomatoes. i found this wildly amusing.
****
i've fallen madly in love with archer farm's spinach & artichoke tortilla chips. to the point that i even ate them in bed earlier today and i NEVER eat food in my bed...i imagine i just subconsciously wanted to sleep next to such amazing crumbs. they are ridiculously addicting (i'd provide a link or photo, or further information, as to not be a tease to my dear readers, but there's none to be found), although only found at Target, making access to them difficult. vexing!
****
also wonderful, and blissfully easier to find, is ben & jerry's new flavor "mission to marzipan". we'd have purchased it for the name alone, but it turns out to be a most awesome addition to the b&j oeuvre.
****
even more wonderful, although not edible, is steve martin's new(ish) cd "the crow". although i wouldn't suggest it if you're not a fan of the banjo (but how could anyone hate on a banjo?!).
embarrassing.
and so, a few odds and ends from the past week or so.
in the supermarket this weekend i overheard a fellow customer ask for assistance in the produce aisle by shouting "excuse me, mr. produce man" to the shoprite worker stacking tomatoes. i found this wildly amusing.
****
i've fallen madly in love with archer farm's spinach & artichoke tortilla chips. to the point that i even ate them in bed earlier today and i NEVER eat food in my bed...i imagine i just subconsciously wanted to sleep next to such amazing crumbs. they are ridiculously addicting (i'd provide a link or photo, or further information, as to not be a tease to my dear readers, but there's none to be found), although only found at Target, making access to them difficult. vexing!
****
also wonderful, and blissfully easier to find, is ben & jerry's new flavor "mission to marzipan". we'd have purchased it for the name alone, but it turns out to be a most awesome addition to the b&j oeuvre.
****
even more wonderful, although not edible, is steve martin's new(ish) cd "the crow". although i wouldn't suggest it if you're not a fan of the banjo (but how could anyone hate on a banjo?!).
Monday, June 01, 2009
139, evening brief.
after watching just the opening credits of the new show "i'm a celebrity...get me out of here" i am fully convinced that there is no hope for humanity.
139.
i've been a poor correspondent.
******
i had to make a couple of big decisions this week - some horrible, some less so - which basically crippled me from paying attention to poor old loveandcyanide here. it's weird though how quickly everything changes once you make up your mind...even if you're not making your preferred choice, you just feel 1000% times better once you pick something and stick with it. as an indecisive pisces, this is an incredible phenomenon to me, and i imagine life would be at least 30% simpler if i could just make up my mind a teensy bit faster.
******
i'm sure i've mentioned it in the past here, but i hate yogurt. abhor the stuff. even frozen, masquerading as ice cream, i can't stand it. i'm sure it's psychosomatic, but i'm convinced i can actually feel the live cultures in my mouth whenever i try it, and really, who wants to feel themselves ingesting bacteria? blech.
but despite the hatred, every year or so i find myself in the dairy aisle telling myself to give yogurt another shot (this was not one of last week's "big decisions", although for consistency-sake, we'll pretend it was). seriously - i don't know what it is that makes it the one food i shun that i consistently try to make myself like. i would never do that with stinky cheeses. maybe the shape of the container? the portability factor? the brightly colored fruits emblazoned on the packaging? that i'm trying to acknowledge the fact that i am a woman and it's supposed to be beneficial to my health? i don't know. so during my weekly supermarket excursion last week i found myself in my "oh chrissy, go try yogurt" phase and after much deliberation settled on a peach variety and a mixed berry one.
and lo and behold, for the first time ever, i was actually able to finish the little container. it probably helped that every time i put the spoon up to my mouth i told myself "this is delicious!!" (i figured if that method can get babies to eat strained peas, it might work on me), but i'd like to believe that maybe my taste buds are maturing.
******
a scary-but-true yogurt story (and now that it popped into mind, perhaps a contributor to my (possibly former) hatred of the stuff): when missy and i first relocated to staten island we often played with the other children living on our street. directly across from our house lived a family with four boys, two of whom were around my age, and so they were regulars in our games of tag and board-game sessions and, dare i say it, they taught me how to play dungeons & dragons. (before you fall out of your chairs, i'm no dungeon master. to be quite honest, i was 10 and had no clue about the intense culture of the game and really just liked the pretty various-colored and multi-faceted dice. there was a deep teal one i was particularly fond of.)
but i digress. so our little crew of neighborhood kids made the rounds from one house to the next during our summer days of play. as one might expect, our parents' provided the group with snacks depending on which house we were at. as one might not expect, when we were at the boys' house, we weren't given cups to drink our hawaiian punch/juicy juice/kool-aid out of; instead our "cups" were empty yogurt containers. no joke. considering my 10-year-old self was pretty similar to my current self, you can imagine how horrified i was by having to drink out of a vessel that had once held such a filthy product, and in general just aghast at such a lack of proper hostessing skills.
i was never thirsty when we hung out at that house.
******
i had to make a couple of big decisions this week - some horrible, some less so - which basically crippled me from paying attention to poor old loveandcyanide here. it's weird though how quickly everything changes once you make up your mind...even if you're not making your preferred choice, you just feel 1000% times better once you pick something and stick with it. as an indecisive pisces, this is an incredible phenomenon to me, and i imagine life would be at least 30% simpler if i could just make up my mind a teensy bit faster.
******
i'm sure i've mentioned it in the past here, but i hate yogurt. abhor the stuff. even frozen, masquerading as ice cream, i can't stand it. i'm sure it's psychosomatic, but i'm convinced i can actually feel the live cultures in my mouth whenever i try it, and really, who wants to feel themselves ingesting bacteria? blech.
but despite the hatred, every year or so i find myself in the dairy aisle telling myself to give yogurt another shot (this was not one of last week's "big decisions", although for consistency-sake, we'll pretend it was). seriously - i don't know what it is that makes it the one food i shun that i consistently try to make myself like. i would never do that with stinky cheeses. maybe the shape of the container? the portability factor? the brightly colored fruits emblazoned on the packaging? that i'm trying to acknowledge the fact that i am a woman and it's supposed to be beneficial to my health? i don't know. so during my weekly supermarket excursion last week i found myself in my "oh chrissy, go try yogurt" phase and after much deliberation settled on a peach variety and a mixed berry one.
and lo and behold, for the first time ever, i was actually able to finish the little container. it probably helped that every time i put the spoon up to my mouth i told myself "this is delicious!!" (i figured if that method can get babies to eat strained peas, it might work on me), but i'd like to believe that maybe my taste buds are maturing.
******
a scary-but-true yogurt story (and now that it popped into mind, perhaps a contributor to my (possibly former) hatred of the stuff): when missy and i first relocated to staten island we often played with the other children living on our street. directly across from our house lived a family with four boys, two of whom were around my age, and so they were regulars in our games of tag and board-game sessions and, dare i say it, they taught me how to play dungeons & dragons. (before you fall out of your chairs, i'm no dungeon master. to be quite honest, i was 10 and had no clue about the intense culture of the game and really just liked the pretty various-colored and multi-faceted dice. there was a deep teal one i was particularly fond of.)
but i digress. so our little crew of neighborhood kids made the rounds from one house to the next during our summer days of play. as one might expect, our parents' provided the group with snacks depending on which house we were at. as one might not expect, when we were at the boys' house, we weren't given cups to drink our hawaiian punch/juicy juice/kool-aid out of; instead our "cups" were empty yogurt containers. no joke. considering my 10-year-old self was pretty similar to my current self, you can imagine how horrified i was by having to drink out of a vessel that had once held such a filthy product, and in general just aghast at such a lack of proper hostessing skills.
i was never thirsty when we hung out at that house.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
130.
this past weekend i took a much needed trip out of a town to upstate NY with friends, spending a day at one's lake-side cabin, and another day brunch-ing and spa-going in a giant old mountain house.
lake george.
it was a lovely weekend of road tripping, adventure, good conversation, and fun, but i can safely say that the highlight of it was the crumb cake pictured below, which was by far the most fantabulous crumb cake i've ever eaten. and i've eaten a lot of crumb cake.
greatest breakfast ever. ever!
lake george. it was a lovely weekend of road tripping, adventure, good conversation, and fun, but i can safely say that the highlight of it was the crumb cake pictured below, which was by far the most fantabulous crumb cake i've ever eaten. and i've eaten a lot of crumb cake.
greatest breakfast ever. ever!just look at that amazing ratio of crumb to cake! those crumbs were so giant i had to crumble the crumbs just to fit them in my mouth.
i'm going to dream about that cake every night for the rest of my life.
i'm going to dream about that cake every night for the rest of my life.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
untitled (but yellow).
so we sort of fell off there for awhile. we're not quite sure what day we're up to anymore, so we'll leave this untitled until we do the math.
*****
what we DO know is that today is the 14th, meaning it's my 6-month-as-an- unemployediversary! YAYYYY.
honestly, i'm not asking for a pity party. i got pouty every other 14th thus far, but for some reason i'm in wonderful spirits today.
*****
maybe it's because of this awesome article celebrating spongebob squarepants, who turned 10 this month.
we all know of my love of the little yellow guy from a previous post, but after reading the article's concluding quote, i now think i'm going to consider sbsp one of my heroes.
"Trotting along bright-hearted, laughing his spray-on headache of a laugh, he will not succumb to complication. His corner of the world is all levity. Embrace him, drained adult. Where you see his little yellow flag, salute it; it’s a sign of life."
*****
what we DO know is that today is the 14th, meaning it's my 6-month-as-an- unemployediversary! YAYYYY.
honestly, i'm not asking for a pity party. i got pouty every other 14th thus far, but for some reason i'm in wonderful spirits today.
*****
maybe it's because of this awesome article celebrating spongebob squarepants, who turned 10 this month.
we all know of my love of the little yellow guy from a previous post, but after reading the article's concluding quote, i now think i'm going to consider sbsp one of my heroes.
"Trotting along bright-hearted, laughing his spray-on headache of a laugh, he will not succumb to complication. His corner of the world is all levity. Embrace him, drained adult. Where you see his little yellow flag, salute it; it’s a sign of life."
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
122.
"you are the busiest unemployed person i know!"
-- direct quote from an email with a friend, which totally made my day, and was probably the nicest thing i've heard all month.
gone are the days when i used to be flattered to hear stuff like 'you look pretty' or 'good job!' or 'have you lost weight?' - these days just acknowledge the fact that i'm keeping myself busy and i will adore you forever.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
121.
blurry, as this was attempted from a bus window, on a rainy day.
but the sign in the deli window reads NEW FANCY FOOD.
i so wonder what this "fancy food" is.
but the sign in the deli window reads NEW FANCY FOOD.
i so wonder what this "fancy food" is.
Monday, May 04, 2009
120.
dracula, in real time.
unlike us, some people actually use blogger for really super cool things. like blogging out bram stoker's dracula in 'real time', posting the diary entries on the dates the narrator wrote them (starting yesterday, may 3rd).
between finding out about this, and discovering that our favorite ice cream is on sale this week at key food, this is quite possibly the most exciting rainy monday i've had in months.
unlike us, some people actually use blogger for really super cool things. like blogging out bram stoker's dracula in 'real time', posting the diary entries on the dates the narrator wrote them (starting yesterday, may 3rd).
between finding out about this, and discovering that our favorite ice cream is on sale this week at key food, this is quite possibly the most exciting rainy monday i've had in months.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
day 117.
in lieu of a photograph, random musings about our gym today.
i've never understood how a gym functions as a pick-up spot - i imagine this could be because i personally could care less about whether or not a guy works out, and would rather see him eating a cheeseburger than lifting weights. but i digress. - even when i was younger, and i suppose more stupidly into all that stuff and spent a good deal of time at my college gym, which was a total scene, i just focused on my workout and left the chatting-up-the-muscular-guy-at-the-next-treadmill to my roommate. it takes so much to actually get me in the place, i suppose the least distraction i have in there, the better.
anyways, i bring up that line of thinking as our current gym is almost more of a social club than an actual fitness facility. given it is the a. cheapest gym in the entire universe, b. on a main strip where all the astoria tween hooligans roam, and c. has free tanning, it shouldn't be that surprising that the place is more hangout than workout - but still, it boggles my mind. and i have to marvel at the fact that when i'm there maybe 35% of us are actually in workout clothing, moving vigorously, and breaking a sweat. the rest are roaming about in tight and/or little clothing, feigning minor physical exertion and looking like extras in [insert teen movie here. i started to write clueless and then realized i was massively dating myself].
this evening, however, the "i'm only pretending to exercise" vibe was brought to a whole new low when two young ladies waltzed past the elliptical machines missy and i were huffing/puffing on with their giant dunkin' donuts iced coffees, which they then proceeded to place in the cup holders of the machines in front of us. the cup holders that generally hold hydrating beverages. like water. and gatorade. you know, stuff to rehydrate you when you, like, sweat because you are at the gym!!!!
a few minutes later the girls had started their 'workout', and were moving about .0000003 mph on their machines, flipping their hair about and sipping their coffees.
i promise i won't write a 'shocked and appalled' post when they install a bar in the locker room.
i've never understood how a gym functions as a pick-up spot - i imagine this could be because i personally could care less about whether or not a guy works out, and would rather see him eating a cheeseburger than lifting weights. but i digress. - even when i was younger, and i suppose more stupidly into all that stuff and spent a good deal of time at my college gym, which was a total scene, i just focused on my workout and left the chatting-up-the-muscular-guy-at-the-next-treadmill to my roommate. it takes so much to actually get me in the place, i suppose the least distraction i have in there, the better.
anyways, i bring up that line of thinking as our current gym is almost more of a social club than an actual fitness facility. given it is the a. cheapest gym in the entire universe, b. on a main strip where all the astoria tween hooligans roam, and c. has free tanning, it shouldn't be that surprising that the place is more hangout than workout - but still, it boggles my mind. and i have to marvel at the fact that when i'm there maybe 35% of us are actually in workout clothing, moving vigorously, and breaking a sweat. the rest are roaming about in tight and/or little clothing, feigning minor physical exertion and looking like extras in [insert teen movie here. i started to write clueless and then realized i was massively dating myself].
this evening, however, the "i'm only pretending to exercise" vibe was brought to a whole new low when two young ladies waltzed past the elliptical machines missy and i were huffing/puffing on with their giant dunkin' donuts iced coffees, which they then proceeded to place in the cup holders of the machines in front of us. the cup holders that generally hold hydrating beverages. like water. and gatorade. you know, stuff to rehydrate you when you, like, sweat because you are at the gym!!!!
a few minutes later the girls had started their 'workout', and were moving about .0000003 mph on their machines, flipping their hair about and sipping their coffees.
i promise i won't write a 'shocked and appalled' post when they install a bar in the locker room.
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