Love and Cyanide.

happy happy.

2009-12-29T01:06:00.001-05:00

oh dear. i truly had grand plans to stop slacking in the writing dept over here throughout the month of december. and yet i've been gone so long i didn't even know that they added helvetica as a font option (YAY!).

but i'm back just in time for my requisite end-of-year post. while i am scarily still in a similar boat to the one i was in last year at this time, i can safely say that this time i won't be reflecting on all the crying i did during the past year. PROGRESS!

so i tend to sum up this year as all crappy, but in reflecting on it as of late, it wasn't a total waste. mainly a waste - yes - but some great things managed to sneak in within the past twelve months, and more importantly, i have a feeling i will someday look back and see that this year was more of a transitional one than a flat-out terrible one. i used to go around saying "when i get my old life back"....and then it hit me one day that i wasn't, ever, going to get back the life i had been leading since i've been out of college. and then it hit me that i'm actually ok with that. in which case 2009 had to turn out this way as it's laying the foundation for a new path for me. and there's nothing wrong with new paths, right? there can be oodles of exciting new places along it to explore.

so this (possibly delusional) outlook is what's getting me through the end of this year, and more importantly, end of this decade. as i watch 2009 limp away from me with it's tail between its mangy little legs, i say bring on the 10's, and - good lord - my 30's. i can't wait to see what's in store.

happy, happy new year, dear readers ~ wishing you all all the best for this shiny new decade.

am i smarter than a fifth grader? most definitely not.

2009-12-01T00:33:00.000-05:00

for reasons that shall go nameless at the moment, i have to re-learn my fractions this week. i mean old-school, mastered-when-i-was-nine-years-old-and-haven't-thought-of-since fractions. i always used to laugh about the people who went on those silly 'are you smarter than an elementary-schooler?' type shows, but now that i'm actually re-attempting math from 20 (jeez!) years ago, i realize just how freaking hard this stuff is.

after being completely bewildered by phrases like "greatest common denominator" a few hours ago, i'm starting to make strides. things are coming back to me, and i'm currently maintaining a passing grade of 77 (fine. barely passing.) on a website game for adding fractions. BUT i'm positively excelling when it comes to dividing fractions, with a 93% and a gold smiley-faced star. a fact that i am entirely too proud of -- i'm ready to print out the page and hang it on the refrigerator.

greetings, cards, and greeting cards.

2009-11-28T01:24:00.003-05:00

a quickie roundup of the past 10 days, since i've been being a slacker again (but an otherwise very busy slacker!):

- to all who our dear readers who celebrated this week, happy thanksgiving! we hope you are all happily sated from fun family times and copious amounts of food.

- do you know how good it feels to have a library card again? i spent an awesome hour back in the old place the other day, and i can't wait to tear through the stack of books i took out and go back to get some more. i guess since i worked around books every day i didn't realize how much i missed the actual library. something about seeing tattered old books again - all my shiny new hardcovers from the past few years in publishing had gotten me spoiled, i think.

the moment when i realized just how long it had been from the last time i was in a library was when my cell phone started buzzing and a librarian shot me a dirty look. it hadn't even occurred to me to silence the thing since the last time i was in one i didn't tote a cell around with me. eons must have passed!

- i've mentioned side projects that missy and i have been up to a few times before -- this is our most recent, and biggest, to date, and one that we will hopefully continue for many years to come. i won't shamelessly self-promote too much over here (that's what facebook and twitter are for! in-between learning about what that random acquaintance from middle school ate for breakfast, of course), but we'd love and greatly appreciate if you had a moment and clicked over there and checked out the new shop.

i'd like to meet his tailor.

2009-11-17T15:00:00.000-05:00

i'm not into the whole twilight hoopla, but i do love this piece from the huffington post, which equates it to the recession

i am a werewolf. hear my anguished howl!

**while on the subject of wolfie noises, i spent a most entertaining 40 minutes in the car on halloween, driving to sissy's place, with warren zevon's werewolves of london on repeat, enthusiastically AWHOOOOOO-ing alongside with the chorus. traffic is so much more tolerable when you can howl through it.

commemorating.

2009-11-13T11:30:00.000-05:00

a day short, but i intend to spend most of tomorrow too hungover to type, but - happy unemployedaversary to me. can you believe it's been a year? i can't. it completely and utterly boggles my mind, although, i had a sneaking suspicion last year at this time (well, last year, 36 hours from now) that i would find myself here.

and one of the things i've pondered most of late is whether that was just my pisces intuition at work or if i subconsciously caused this scenario. would the initial mindset of "oh hey, a little break. no worries." as opposed to "HOLY FREAKING SHIT - I AM NEVER GOING TO WORK AGAIN. I AM GOING TO BE POOR AND SAD FOREVER." have gotten me employed again within a neat little two months? does mindset have a hand in destiny? did i think myself to one year later, still no job and living back at my parents? is that possible?

prescience or self-fulfilling prophecy is the wonderment that has turned my current bedtime into 3am. in my next life i would really, really, really like to become one of those people who thinks just a tad less. maybe 30% less self-awareness and i can go about my merry way.

but besides becoming a tad more neurotic, i think i am doing kind of ok. there's been an awful lot of rough patches, but otherwise life has chugged along kind of normally, and if anything i'd like to believe that the experience of a hardship (for lack of a better word, as i do know that things could definitely be worse, and that there are millions in my current situation + much worse) such as this has helped me to develop some new positive behaviors that i wouldn't have had the insight to properly develop beforehand when nothing was really ever wrong besides the passing every day bs stuff that now i know doesn't matter. well, at least matters less.

is this growing up? maybe life holding me by the ponytail and spanking me with the reality stick will have its benefits after all.

new ventures!

2009-11-09T20:31:00.002-05:00

two posts in one day! do i have a fever?

this is more of an announcement than legitimate prose, so i suppose i don't. but missy, bear, and i have started on another online endeavor - us, elsewhere - in support of an offline endeavor that we're been working on for quite some time now (and will hopefully be launching soon). i don't intend to abandon darling old loveandcyanide for the new and shiny, so expect to still be able to find me here, dear bloggy friends and readers. but you can now find me there, too.

my worst enemy.

2009-11-09T16:40:00.005-05:00

this is a flowering pear tree.

it is also my latest arch-nemesis.

you may be asking yourself how i could possibly be at odds with such a sweet, harmless tree. don't be fooled - similar to britney, the flowering pear is not that innocent. it lords over my parking spot with ill-intent. obstructing the curb with its low-hanging branches. depositing its ugly alien berries* all over the hood of my car. shedding an obscene amount of leaves.

why my parents opted to plant this thing where did they did is a complete mystery. they claim they had no idea it would grow as massive as it has or that it would make giant berries that would then fall all over the place leaving sticky, purple-y chaos in their wake. clearly they didn't do their research, as in the past 24 hours i've learned that the flowering pear grows into a majestic (re: large) pyramid shape and is a lovely addition to your lawn. nowhere is the flowering pear suggested for a teensy patch of dirt on the sidewalk next to your driveway in a space that perfectly fits one silver pontiac grand am.

the flowering pear better hope that i don't come across an axe in the basement.

*'ugly alien berries' do not resemble cute, normal berries, like the straw-, blue-, or rasp- varieties. instead they look like escargot. and when you rather unwisely try to scrape them off your windshield with your windshield wipers, they streak a purple-y brown goo across it that will take many, many paper towels to clean off.

parking lot peeves.

2009-11-06T00:42:00.002-05:00

since starting my 'new life' - well, 'newer new life' - two (eeeekkkkk!) months ago, i've had to adjust to some different habits. like driving almost everywhere. which isn't the worst thing on earth - i've always been a fan of driving, whether i'm the driver or a passenger. and cars certainly get you places faster. - however, i just cannot get comfortable with driving to the gym. i got so used to having a nice little warm-up during my 10-block walk to my old gym - a very efficient method of getting in that little extra bit to my workout, i always thought - that now i feel like a useless sloth driving to it. but less of a useless sloth than some of my fellow gym-goers.

the gym is in a small shopping center, with a main parking lot for a number of stores. i typically park a few aisles over from the gym, where it is less crowded and so i can get an extra 20 seconds of leg movement before getting on the treadmill. so i've noticed during my little jaunts through the lot that there is often a lot of competition for the five or so parking spots that are directly in front of the building. prime real estate - i'm waiting for a fight to break out over them. yesterday, a woman waited for at least 3 minutes in her car for a man to get his (slow-moving) self into his vehicle and relinquish the spot to her. i marveled at how lazy people can be, that they are going to workout, but yet they can't walk more than a foot to get into the place where they are going to workout.

so imagine my disgust level when i left the gym and, looking down while crossing through one of the empty prime spots, noticed NO PARKING - FIRE LANE painted all along the curb! i hope an exercise bike never spontaneously bursts into flames while i'm working out alongside those lazy lawbreakers. our sweat will have to put the fire out since the firetruck won't be able to get close enough.

united states postal stalkers?

2009-11-04T00:36:00.002-05:00

the following exchange took place outside my house this afternoon:

scene: my father is on our property, fixing our front porch. the mailman shows up. they exchange mundane small talk, and mailman hands my father today's mail.

mailman: oh, hey, does the garbage in this neighborhood get picked up on tuesday?

father: yes. (probably makes strange face at strange question)

mailman: oh ok. thanks - i know you're retired from the sanitation department, so i figured you would know. (turns to exit through gate)

father: (pauses. thinks.) hey. how did you remember i worked for sanitation? i don't remember us talking about it, and if we did it had to have been awhile ago.

mailman: oh, i deliver your mail. i know everything about everyone!

what a creep!

buy my crap!

2009-10-01T23:56:00.005-04:00

in the spirit of fully embracing this new suburban life that i'm leading i hosted a yard sale (garage sale, stoop sale, rummage sale, moving sale - whatever you'd like to call it) a few weekends ago, a necessary event given the amount of tired old crap that missy and i didn't want anymore that i dragged back here with me from my apartment. and adding that to the tired old crap my parents already had, plus the tired old crap i'd been depositing here the past six years while i acquired shiny new crap in queens...and, well, you get the picture. that's a lot of junk. it was actually a whole room full of junk, as my mother starting stashing it all in our spare bedroom and within weeks the room was packed to the gills.

so we put a notice in the local paper*, made some bright yellow "YARD SALE ----->" signs, and set up shop one sunny september saturday morning. business was brisk, and as with any situation where you'd interact with a volume of customers, our yard was home to quite a cast of characters that day, from the annoying to the surprising (a fossil of an old woman, who hobbled into the yard on the arm of an elderly friend. we almost collapsed in giggles as she passed by the table of knickknacks, making a beeline for the tool section. she left with a bag containing a giant wrench, a screwdriver, and a wood sander. i really wanted to follow her home to see what on earth she did with them).

but the most entertaining moment of the day came from a pair of young neighbors across the street. about 2/3 through our sale we noticed the little boys hanging a sign on a pole right beneath our yard sale sign.

competition!

as i crossed the street to inspect it, we realized it was a sign for their yard sale - and looking over to their lawn, we noticed them dragging toys and clothes out of the house and laying them all over the lawn. it was cutely hilarious. but our rivalry was short-lived, as about 15 minutes later they came over to our yard, complaining that they weren't getting any business. a quick lesson in yard sale 101 ensued.

in the end, after crushing our elementary-school competition and selling off more than half of all the stuff we had out, it turned out to be a rather successful day. if only there was a market for yard sale consultants, i'd totally be in business.

*while initially discussing plans for the sale, i suggested to my parents that we should have snacks for shoppers. i even offered to bake my famous brownies. ever the cynics - "snacks?? who has snacks?!" they scoffed - they quickly shot down the idea. lo and behold, when i checked out my ad in the paper - one of the loveliest ads that weekend, i might add - a neighboring ad boasted, in bold, imposing newsprint, FREE COOKIES!

i guarantee the 'free cookies' yard sale had record crowds.

cryptic text messages from my father, and other stories from the homestead.

2009-09-28T09:49:00.000-04:00

as you may or may not know, i recently moved back in with my parents. while i still slightly shudder when telling this to people, the adjustment, in general, is chugging along somewhat more smoothly than i had thought. i'm not saying this is at all ideal, and after three weeks i still wake up every morning thinking what the hell has happened to me, but if you had to choose a set of parents to live with, mine most definitely are not the worst of the lot. they're actually pretty great - helpful, benevolent, non-obtrusive, little-to-no psychosis - and are turning out to be the most useful roommates* i've ever had.

there's also the unintentional hilarity that they provide. while no stranger to living in a realm of constant ridiculousness after all the nonsense that missy, bear, and i pulled during the past few years, it's gone to a whole new level in dealing everyday with the folks. there are the notes my mother leaves for me every morning when she leaves for work, the shouts of, "chris, are you ok?!" every single time i drop something (which, as i'm learning living in a place where it's acknowledged every time i drop something, is pretty damn often), the regular discussions that start with "you didn't used to do that when you were younger" that have me defending everything from the amount of water i use when i wash dishes to the fact that i shuffle around when i wear slippers and leave windows open when it's raining outside. and then of course there is the rediscovery of the divide between my peers and those of an earlier generation.

for instance, my father, an intelligent man but nevertheless from a less technologically advanced era, cannot text message for the life of him. so he's taken to answering my texts with random letters and words, so i "at least know he's received them", and sending them to me when he wants me to call him back. last night i received an "MI" (which, as it turned out, was just an attempt at replying "OK") and, later in the evening (when, embarrassingly enough, my bar companions took me checking my phone and smirking, at such a late hour, to mean i had received a booty call) a miscellaneous "MOON". no guys, seriously, it's just my dad sending over his typographical bat signals.

on the flip side, i'm also learning that although in their early 50's they are surpassing me in some surprising realms. like fitness, as i discovered the other day when i decided to do my mother's workout video with her. she marched into the room with two sets of weights and informed me that i could use the 1lb weights while she would use the 3lb ones.

my arms are still sore. hers, not so much.

****

i had taken a bit of a siesta from good old loveandcyanide because i felt i had lost my muse, and had veered off from our original theme, and i wasn't quite sure what to do with it anymore...but i'm thinking living with the parents will provide me with enough fodder for awhile.

things fall apart.

2009-08-05T22:10:00.003-04:00

my ipod (i think) broke earlier today - i say "i think" since you can never be too sure with those things. although since it turned itself off earlier today, when i do turn it on it is making an unnatural whirring noise and the little graphic that comes up is of a little caution sign with a sad-faced ipod standing next to it (right, everyone else who i relayed this to told me they never saw such a screen either), so things don't seem very promising - which is wildly distressing because beyond the fact that i'm not particularly in the market for new electronic equipment at the moment, i also only possess about a third of the music on it on my current computer.

which means if i do have to get a new pod i am going to be spending MANY hours holed up with all my old CDs. let's hope those apple store workers are actually magicians, not just geniuses.

******

speaking of genius (or those that fall slightly short), i've been noticing a disturbing new trend during my trips to the beach this summer - pillows. bed pillows, couch pillows - those soft, squishy square things are on the beach. is laying on one's beach towel not cushy enough that people need to tote their bedding along to get comfortable in the sand?? i understand that we lay on blankets on the beach and in parks, but the pillow brings it to a bizarre new level. unless those folks have particular beach pillows...imagine trying to get all that sand out of your bed?

these are a few of our favorite things.

2009-07-29T22:59:00.002-04:00

awesome.

my vote is totally for the gooey decimal system.

dispatches from the beach - belated edition.

2009-07-26T22:58:00.002-04:00

we had mentioned awhile back - before the great disappearance of '09 - that we were going on our annual summer shore trip to long beach island. well we did, and as always we had a great time. this year was filled with standard lbi fun - boozing on the beach all day, grilling up a storm at night - and some nice surprises - like discovering a ridiculously good sushi place on an island full of fried fish shacks and ice cream stands - but oddly enough our most interesting tale from the trip is one of horror.

*****
our very first day in the house that we rented started off rather frantically - as first days often go - as 14 of us showed up at the house around noon, eager to get our vacation on. mass unpacking ensued, and as it was our most crowded night, and we were having a big first night 4th of july bbq, you can imagine how much we were all tripping over each other getting the kitchen set up/bedrooms assigned/luggage stowed away etc.

what you might not imagine is that during this the kids from the neighboring house were all over our property. brief back story: the home we were renting for the week and the house next door to it were owned by joint families - the family in the house next door had apparently been staying in our house the week before (that didn't make much sense at the time, and still doesn't now), and so for the first hour or two that we were there unpacking, some of the neighbors were still removing their belongings from our yard. they were friendly enough, and were trading beers with us, so at first we didn't care about their kids all too much.

however, by the time we were starting up our bbq festivities that evening, we started noticing the two kids still randomly around - in our backyard bushes looking for their toys, attacking one of our trees with a butterfly net, even standing on our front porch telling us the key code to unlock the front door. finding them slightly annoying, and the latter incident more than slightly disturbing, we decided that if they kept hanging around we'd go complain. but thankfully they disappeared, and the next few hours were spent playing lawn games, watching fireworks, and toasting to our nation's independence.

fast forward to bedtime, much later that night - five of us are having a slumber party in the living room, sprawled out amongst an air mattress and three couches. after chatting for a bit, we all quiet down and start passing out. suddenly, from across the room one of my friends hisses, "there's someone at our front door!" being on the couch perpendicular to and closest to the door, i open my eyes to see a shadow looming on the wall. a rather short shadow, but a human shape nonetheless.

as my friend continued to more loudly and urgently whisper to the rest of us that there is indeed a child at the front door, images of the children of the corn run through my mind. we then hear the screen door open and the front door starts rattling, and the three of us females in the room are now yelping in fright. just as the front door is about to be pushed in, the two guys in the room bound over to it and yank it open, revealing one of the little monsters from earlier in the day.

after asking what the hell he was doing trying to enter our house in the middle of the night, we were informed that he had left his stuffed animals in the attic room, and could he go get them? the rascal received a resounding NO and a brief lecture about how adults go to sleep at night and you can't just barge into their house to sneak into their rooms and retrieve your toys. the little imp continued to whine about his toys, but the guys firmly told him to come back in the morning, ring the bell like a normal, mannered person would, and he could look for them then.

the next day stuffed animals were found in the attic, and so we returned them and tattled on the little brat. suffice to say we didn't see him on our property for the rest of the trip.

dispatches from the park - belated edition.

2009-07-23T01:40:00.007-04:00

during the month of june i did quite a bit of shakespeare production-watching in parks. by 'quite a bit' i mean two separate performances, but really, how much shakespeare does one watch nowadays anyway? especially within a 10-day period.

first up was a local effort - a community college production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo + Juliet (double whammy) at our neighborhood beer garden. enjoying some beer and sausages while watching people in homemade fairy costumes flit about the trees around the garden was perhaps one of the most surrealistically entertaining things i've done in awhile.

we upgraded a bit for the next show, which was the city's 'official' shakespearean show of the season, Central Park's production, which this year was Twelfth Night. which was awesome, especially when night had just fallen, and a giant raccoon lumbered across the stage in the shadows. we love raccoons! (at safe distances)

for those of you not familiar with the procedure, there's a bit of an ado (teehee) about the whole SITP production every year since there are usually a few big names in the cast, the show only runs for a few weeks, and tickets are free. so basically it's like seeing a fancy limited-run broadway show for nothing. although, as i was reminded that day, nothing is ever truly free. instead of spending cash, one spends their time on a line in the park, waiting patiently and hopefully that they are close enough to the front of the line to snag a ticket. about 800 tickets are given out, but usually, especially for weekend productions, thousands of folks queue up. they will get there when the park opens at 5am and wait all day long. craziness.

i was one of those folks this year. being i had a bit of extra time on my hands this year, i told missy that part of her bday present would be seeing twelfth night, since we've always wanted to go see a SITP production, and our one other attempt a few summers back had us about 200 people beyond where they stopped handing out tickets. this time, we took it much more seriously, and so off i went, that wednesday morning, in the rain, at 8am, to hang out in line for 5 hours until they started giving out tickets at 1pm.

it wasn't as bad as it could have been - i parked myself on a blanket under a nice leafy tree, had some snacks, and completed a depressingly interesting book about heroin addiction. it was rather peaceful. at first.

my tree.

the ~~puddle~~ babbling brook next to my camp.

but the tranquility was short lived. moreso than the ants and the gnats that had taken a liking to me and my blanket, the human interruptions throughout my wait were the most interesting/annoying. it started off with the man on the bike peddling his diverse wares up and down the line: starbucks coffee, sandwiches, magazines, hats, menus from local delis and renting lawn chairs. ingenious! if i actually rode a bike i'd probably do that for a living as i'm sure that man makes more a day than i ever have. he was the most popular person in that section of the park, with line-goers around me calling him over every time he appeared near our section of the queue. i even contemplated renting a chair from him so i could switch off from blanket to chair, but then my bedbug worries got the best of me. i'd take my chances with the ants.

next to roll down the path was our 'guide' for the day, dan, a theater worker who strolled around making announcements, answering questions, and constantly reciting the SITP 'rules' of ticket-getting. to not sound too much like a drill sergeant barking orders at us, he also make lame jokes. emphasis on the 'lame' part. after dan appeared the "can i ask you a question" folks swooped in, wielding clipboards and pens and desperately wanting our signatures for whatever stupid issue they were attempting to get on a ballot. i usually run in the opposite direction from those guys, but here i was a sitting duck. blessfully, the stupid tourists on the blanket next to me chatted him up for 20 minutes so i had time to put my headphones on, roll over and pretend to take a nap.

finally, towards the last hour of my wait i started hearing some distant melodic sounds wafting through the park. how nice, i thought, the theater blasts shakespeare-appropriate instrumental tunes to get us in the spirit for the show this evening. as the music progressively became louder, and i realized i was listening to something from Cats, i looked up the path and spotted this guy:

i wasn't surprised to see the flute, but i was to see an entire music stand, although at this point i still assumed he was part of the theater's 'waiting in line entertainment'. but no, as he moved closer to my patch of parkland, mr. flutist did his spiel about it being a recession and he appreciated any donations. while my heart does go out to others affected by the economic downturn and i did marvel then at the fact that he lugged that stupid music stand through the park, he launched into the 'battle hymn of the republic' and i decided he was a pest. first show tunes and now historical american songs? i'm waiting in line to see shakespeare and you, sir, have a flute....play some lilting Elizabethan stuff!

gummy breakfasts, and other revolting stories.

2009-07-22T00:40:00.003-04:00

i'm not sure if toddlers usually submit recipes to recipe sites - if so, i'd like to believe that one is responsible for this one:

ick.

quite possibly the grossest thing i've read on the internets in awhile.

*******

so it HAS been awhile. even longer than my typical whiles. beyond my inexplicable inability to post these past few months, we've also been psychotically preoccupied of late after coming home from our vacation. why? well, i'm finally ready for the big reveal....

....

missy and i are moving. apart! so loveandcyanide will be living separately for the first time in its little existence. please, dear readers, don't fret that things will get even slower around here, since well, they can't, and also we all know that missy has only been here in spirit for some time now so this isn't changing too much. of course she's taking my furry little webmaster with her, so perhaps i'll have to cut back on the photo postings.

but i'm happy to report the 'big split' is going fine thus far, although we haven't gotten very deep into the difficult part yet -- divvying up the books and shoes. we share most things, but those two realms are where there is the most overlap. and although we have enough of both books and shoes to enrich/clothe an entire small nation, you know us well enough by now to know that we will still be fighting tooth and nail for some of the same ones. we used to so love playing 'library' when we were children, that i'm hoping we can institute a lending system for all our shared belongings now. i will go so far as to stamp items with a due date.

*******

so where am i going, you ask? well, due to all the unfortunate circumstances of the past year i am taking a temporary sojourn from paying rent and taking refuge at my parents' for a short while as i continue to try to get my act together. while you gasp in horror i'll admit that while i'm not 1000% thrilled with this, i am kinda proud of myself for attempting to be prudent (for once). also on the plus side is that i'm gaining a car, a pool, two drivers, a cleaning lady, a cook, in-house laundry facilities and a constantly stocked refrigerator. when i put it that way - and ignore absolutely everything else - it sounds downright peachy.

summerizing.

2009-07-02T01:21:00.002-04:00

as i am certain i've mentioned around here before, i tend to find myself on year(s) long hunts for particular items - nude lipsticks, alarm clocks. in the past two weeks i've managed to successfully put an end to not one but TWO seemingly endless searches of mine - i found the perfect gray bag, something i have been on the lookout for for about three years, and my dream ring tone - the 'breakfast theme' from pee-wee's big adventure. (it makes for an awesome, if not slightly jarring, alarm ring as well. but feeling like pee-wee every morning compensates for that)

it may have rained just about every day last month, but this will go on record as a phenomenal june for those two reasons alone.

******

but, erm, june has passed. goodness, time flies! and so it's july, early july, which means we're heading away for our annual week down the shore for some much needed R&R. i haven't been on more than an overnight trip since october - despicable! - and am therefore beyond thrilled to escape ~~life~~ town for a bit. a week of nothing more than the sun, bbq, and giant crab legs should do me some good.

parking hazards.

2009-06-20T00:59:00.006-04:00

i've been keeping my car with me at our apartment pretty frequently these days (you may be wondering why i don't keep it all the time if it's mine. well the car is mine (and missy's) as in we-drive-it-but-don't-want-to-pay-insurance-for-it-so-it-sits-at-our-parents'), which is nice, because i've gotten to take some fun little jaunts around queens. having somewhat switched teams from neighborhood pedestrian to neighborhood motorist, i've now become privy to lots of stuff around here that i typically don't notice. like no parking signs. "no parking due to tree pruning" signs.

seriously.

i've been driving around the five boroughs of NYC for 12 years (eek!) now and honestly never saw anything like this before. i thought it was a joke at first. people actually prune the public trees?! in the outer-boroughs, no less?!

well, turns out they do. when i returned to move my car the next day, this sight was waiting for me:

that's some major pruning.

thank goodness i had taken the sign seriously enough to park across the street.

catching up.

2009-06-09T16:22:00.004-04:00

i'm thinking i'm going to stop with the whole day-countdown thing i started. clearly i can't handle the daily photo duties anymore, and its gotten to the point where i avoid even looking at my poor little blog since i don't have a snapshot of the day to contribute. all wrong. plus i have all these weird random shots of nothingness on my camera (that i just never bother to upload) and so when friends are looking through the photos i inevitably hear "um, hey, what is this picture of yogurt for?"

embarrassing.

and so, a few odds and ends from the past week or so.

in the supermarket this weekend i overheard a fellow customer ask for assistance in the produce aisle by shouting "excuse me, mr. produce man" to the shoprite worker stacking tomatoes. i found this wildly amusing.

****

i've fallen madly in love with archer farm's spinach & artichoke tortilla chips. to the point that i even ate them in bed earlier today and i NEVER eat food in my bed...i imagine i just subconsciously wanted to sleep next to such amazing crumbs. they are ridiculously addicting (i'd provide a link or photo, or further information, as to not be a tease to my dear readers, but there's none to be found), although only found at Target, making access to them difficult. vexing!

****

also wonderful, and blissfully easier to find, is ben & jerry's new flavor "mission to marzipan". we'd have purchased it for the name alone, but it turns out to be a most awesome addition to the b&j oeuvre.

****

even more wonderful, although not edible, is steve martin's new(ish) cd "the crow". although i wouldn't suggest it if you're not a fan of the banjo (but how could anyone hate on a banjo?!).

139, evening brief.

2009-06-01T20:03:00.001-04:00

after watching just the opening credits of the new show "i'm a celebrity...get me out of here" i am fully convinced that there is no hope for humanity.

139.

2009-06-01T00:14:00.004-04:00

i've been a poor correspondent.

******

i had to make a couple of big decisions this week - some horrible, some less so - which basically crippled me from paying attention to poor old loveandcyanide here. it's weird though how quickly everything changes once you make up your mind...even if you're not making your preferred choice, you just feel 1000% times better once you pick something and stick with it. as an indecisive pisces, this is an incredible phenomenon to me, and i imagine life would be at least 30% simpler if i could just make up my mind a teensy bit faster.

******

i'm sure i've mentioned it in the past here, but i hate yogurt. abhor the stuff. even frozen, masquerading as ice cream, i can't stand it. i'm sure it's psychosomatic, but i'm convinced i can actually feel the live cultures in my mouth whenever i try it, and really, who wants to feel themselves ingesting bacteria? blech.

but despite the hatred, every year or so i find myself in the dairy aisle telling myself to give yogurt another shot (this was not one of last week's "big decisions", although for consistency-sake, we'll pretend it was). seriously - i don't know what it is that makes it the one food i shun that i consistently try to make myself like. i would never do that with stinky cheeses. maybe the shape of the container? the portability factor? the brightly colored fruits emblazoned on the packaging? that i'm trying to acknowledge the fact that i am a woman and it's supposed to be beneficial to my health? i don't know. so during my weekly supermarket excursion last week i found myself in my "oh chrissy, go try yogurt" phase and after much deliberation settled on a peach variety and a mixed berry one.

and lo and behold, for the first time ever, i was actually able to finish the little container. it probably helped that every time i put the spoon up to my mouth i told myself "this is delicious!!" (i figured if that method can get babies to eat strained peas, it might work on me), but i'd like to believe that maybe my taste buds are maturing.

******

a scary-but-true yogurt story (and now that it popped into mind, perhaps a contributor to my (possibly former) hatred of the stuff): when missy and i first relocated to staten island we often played with the other children living on our street. directly across from our house lived a family with four boys, two of whom were around my age, and so they were regulars in our games of tag and board-game sessions and, dare i say it, they taught me how to play dungeons & dragons. (before you fall out of your chairs, i'm no dungeon master. to be quite honest, i was 10 and had no clue about the intense culture of the game and really just liked the pretty various-colored and multi-faceted dice. there was a deep teal one i was particularly fond of.)

but i digress. so our little crew of neighborhood kids made the rounds from one house to the next during our summer days of play. as one might expect, our parents' provided the group with snacks depending on which house we were at. as one might not expect, when we were at the boys' house, we weren't given cups to drink our hawaiian punch/juicy juice/kool-aid out of; instead our "cups" were empty yogurt containers. no joke. considering my 10-year-old self was pretty similar to my current self, you can imagine how horrified i was by having to drink out of a vessel that had once held such a filthy product, and in general just aghast at such a lack of proper hostessing skills.

i was never thirsty when we hung out at that house.

133.

2009-05-22T00:40:00.002-04:00

definitely, my new favorite liquor store.

130.

2009-05-18T15:43:00.005-04:00

this past weekend i took a much needed trip out of a town to upstate NY with friends, spending a day at one's lake-side cabin, and another day brunch-ing and spa-going in a giant old mountain house.

lake george.

it was a lovely weekend of road tripping, adventure, good conversation, and fun, but i can safely say that the highlight of it was the crumb cake pictured below, which was by far the most fantabulous crumb cake i've ever eaten. and i've eaten a lot of crumb cake.

greatest breakfast ever. ever!

just look at that amazing ratio of crumb to cake! those crumbs were so giant i had to crumble the crumbs just to fit them in my mouth.

i'm going to dream about that cake every night for the rest of my life.

untitled (but yellow).

2009-05-14T16:39:00.003-04:00

so we sort of fell off there for awhile. we're not quite sure what day we're up to anymore, so we'll leave this untitled until we do the math.

*****

what we DO know is that today is the 14th, meaning it's my 6-month-as-an- unemployediversary! YAYYYY.

honestly, i'm not asking for a pity party. i got pouty every other 14th thus far, but for some reason i'm in wonderful spirits today.

*****

maybe it's because of this awesome article celebrating spongebob squarepants, who turned 10 this month.

we all know of my love of the little yellow guy from a previous post, but after reading the article's concluding quote, i now think i'm going to consider sbsp one of my heroes.

"Trotting along bright-hearted, laughing his spray-on headache of a laugh, he will not succumb to complication. His corner of the world is all levity. Embrace him, drained adult. Where you see his little yellow flag, salute it; it’s a sign of life."

122.

2009-05-06T18:16:00.003-04:00

"you are the busiest unemployed person i know!"

-- direct quote from an email with a friend, which totally made my day, and was probably the nicest thing i've heard all month.

gone are the days when i used to be flattered to hear stuff like 'you look pretty' or 'good job!' or 'have you lost weight?' - these days just acknowledge the fact that i'm keeping myself busy and i will adore you forever.

121.

2009-05-05T16:12:00.005-04:00

blurry, as this was attempted from a bus window, on a rainy day.

but the sign in the deli window reads NEW FANCY FOOD.

i so wonder what this "fancy food" is.

120.

2009-05-04T16:41:00.002-04:00

dracula, in real time.

unlike us, some people actually use blogger for really super cool things. like blogging out bram stoker's dracula in 'real time', posting the diary entries on the dates the narrator wrote them (starting yesterday, may 3rd).

between finding out about this, and discovering that our favorite ice cream is on sale this week at key food, this is quite possibly the most exciting rainy monday i've had in months.

day 117.

2009-04-29T23:45:00.003-04:00

in lieu of a photograph, random musings about our gym today.

i've never understood how a gym functions as a pick-up spot - i imagine this could be because i personally could care less about whether or not a guy works out, and would rather see him eating a cheeseburger than lifting weights. but i digress. - even when i was younger, and i suppose more stupidly into all that stuff and spent a good deal of time at my college gym, which was a total scene, i just focused on my workout and left the chatting-up-the-muscular-guy-at-the-next-treadmill to my roommate. it takes so much to actually get me in the place, i suppose the least distraction i have in there, the better.

anyways, i bring up that line of thinking as our current gym is almost more of a social club than an actual fitness facility. given it is the a. cheapest gym in the entire universe, b. on a main strip where all the astoria tween hooligans roam, and c. has free tanning, it shouldn't be that surprising that the place is more hangout than workout - but still, it boggles my mind. and i have to marvel at the fact that when i'm there maybe 35% of us are actually in workout clothing, moving vigorously, and breaking a sweat. the rest are roaming about in tight and/or little clothing, feigning minor physical exertion and looking like extras in [insert teen movie here. i started to write clueless and then realized i was massively dating myself].

this evening, however, the "i'm only pretending to exercise" vibe was brought to a whole new low when two young ladies waltzed past the elliptical machines missy and i were huffing/puffing on with their giant dunkin' donuts iced coffees, which they then proceeded to place in the cup holders of the machines in front of us. the cup holders that generally hold hydrating beverages. like water. and gatorade. you know, stuff to rehydrate you when you, like, sweat because you are at the gym!!!!

a few minutes later the girls had started their 'workout', and were moving about .0000003 mph on their machines, flipping their hair about and sipping their coffees.

i promise i won't write a 'shocked and appalled' post when they install a bar in the locker room.

day 116.

2009-04-29T09:50:00.005-04:00

got to spend yesterday seeing two films at the tribeca film festival, thanks to a dear friend who had some fancy all-access badges from work. it wound up being a big day as besides being my first time attending any part of the festival and my first time seeing two films in one day, it was also my first time going to a movie theater alone.

i know, you say, big deal. but for whatever reason i had built solo movie-going up to some sort of epic, virginity-losing, milestone status in my head. it was, as i'm sure most of you already experienced, nothing of the sort.

but a good time nonetheless, as i saw the delightful rudo y cursi, which i totally recommend if it makes it to a theater near you.

day 114.

2009-04-24T21:02:00.003-04:00

no, i didn't morph into an earthworm today (which would have made this, by far, the most interesting day to date, and in general, would have probably been the most fantastic thing i've ever done). this was the view from my neat sheet*, where i spent most of the afternoon, lazing in glorious sunshine and 70 degree weather in my new second home, astoria park.

give me a sunny day, good music (dengue fever), and a good book (child 44), and i'm a happy happy happy camper.

*this is a neat sheet. missy and i never refer to it as a blanket, we call it by its full proper name - "the neat sheet" - as it has more than earned our respect by folding up so neatly and so adequately protecting our bottoms from grass stains.

day 113.

2009-04-23T13:10:00.004-04:00

missy sent this photo over to us, direct from an unnamed subway platform. while i'm sure the green river flowing between the tracks is just a mixture of some noxious transit chemicals, we can't help but hope it leads to a river of slime!

day 112.

2009-04-22T13:05:00.005-04:00

we've been skipping days here and there, but this week we missed a bunch. whoops. i don't know why i've been so busy, but i have. thankfully part of the reason is because i've been working on a freelance project - well, two, actually, although i'm only getting paid for one of them. and the other part is that i think i'm still worn out from making a colossal salad the other night. i think vegetables are only supposed to energize you when you don't spend about 4 hours chopping them up.

since i failed to take photos of the epic bowl of garden-y goodness, i'm going to cheat a little and post photos from day 109, since i can't possibly disappear from a photojournalism project for 3 days and then not have any actual photos to show for it.

so for our sports fan readers, i imagine day 109 will seem the most exciting thus far as it involved a trip to yankee stadium. being i'm not at all a baseball fan, and when i am pretending to be a baseball fan i lean more towards the mets than the yankees because the mets have an entertaining mascot, i could care less about the game, but being there was a shiny new stadium and all, i was super excited to go and check out the new place, most especially the new food offerings. if there's one thing that makes baseball games tolerable, it's the hotdogs. and popcorn. and ice cream in little plastic hat cups.

the new food stands did not disappoint, especially once i came across this one:

:
how i love garlic fries! i was so excited to eat them i accidentally threw half the container of them all over my shiny new stadium seat.

but the biggest entertainment of the game came a little later, when i looked over and noticed what the woman sitting diagonally from me was holding on her lap:

the parenthesized subtitle had my friend and i in stitches. i'm always amazed by the crazy uber-fans who carry ledgers to the game to document every move the players make - do they actually go back and read through the stats?

i'd so much rather focus on the snacks.

day 108.

2009-04-16T16:13:00.003-04:00

one of my favorite habits is my penchant for leaving myself reminders. there is no event/idea/item too insignificant that i won't mark it down to remember it for a later/fitting time. it's both highly useful, and on occasion, wildly entertaining. in the old days, i used my outlook calendar for such purposes - these days, it's my blackberry. i fear its little indicator light is going to burn out soon, given the number of time a day it flashes. from interviews to picking up the dry cleaning to the lyrics from a song heard in a bar that i want to remember to download the next morning when i'm home - little escapes a place on my calendar.

so just before i happened to receive my most exciting reminder EVER. ever ever. in all of my 29 years of calendars and datebooks and post-its and scraps of paper and pop-up windows.

i know, you ask - how exciting can one reminder be?

velociraptor awareness day! i have no idea when i typed that into my phone, because i had completely forgotten the holiday even existed...but here it was, appearing on my calendar and completely making my day.

the holiday is tomorrow, by the way. (and is also being celebrated on saturday, according to its facebook event page) i imagine i set my phone a day in advance so i had time to alert my dear readers to it.

celebrate accordingly.

P.S. for those of you subscribing to time warner cable - jurassic park is currently on demand. coincidence? i think not. we all know how loveandcyanide is spending the next two days.

day 107.

2009-04-15T17:12:00.002-04:00

i wonder how many days i can subsist on a diet of easter candy...

day 105.

2009-04-13T18:05:00.002-04:00

as i've mentioned before, i've been doing quite a bit of cooking during the past 100+ days - a total upside to the whole unemployed thing. one of the ingredients that i find myself buying the most for my little kitchen exploits is cilantro, an herb i always knew i liked, but didn't realize how much i liked. after cooking with it for two days straight last week (the aforepictured veggie burger, and a curry, which our apt STILL smells like, a whole week later) i realized i was starting to smell like a giant bundle of cilantro, which might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it was wonderful to me.

today, in a burst of cilantro-scented coincidence, i was directed to this site - cilantro porn - which totally made my day. i think i need to find some sort of cilantro home spray, pronto, before i start strewing leaves of it around my pillows.

day 104.

2009-04-10T16:58:00.002-04:00

sriracha squeeze bottle + veggie burger = new way to entertain myself during lunchtime.

day 103.

2009-04-09T16:29:00.004-04:00

another snapshot for the recession - back in my old life, if you were to see me post-hair dye session, i'd be breezing out of a salon, happily sated with useless knowledge from the gossip magazines i had spent the past hour reading whilst relaxing comfortably in a leather chair while my awesome hairdresser neatly applied chemicals atop my scalp to hide all my prematurely gray hair.

scene from earlier today, post hair dye session:

i've mentioned before how missy and i would cause havoc dyeing each other's hair - little did i know how much MORE chaotic things would be when i attempted doing it myself. never, ever, again. unless i cut my hair super short and grow five other arms.

i cut the messy portion of the tub out of the photo, as it looked like i had murdered someone in it, but i'm sure you can envision the situation from that filthy lump that used to be a clean towel. and please note my watering can - the log-thing next to the 'fill cup' for my steam cleaner (ed. note: WHY DO WE NOT HAVE ANY PLASTIC CUPS SUITABLE FOR RINSING PERMANENT DYE AND THEN BEING DISPOSTED OF IN THIS APARTMENT) - and remember this advice for the next time you find yourself in a similar hair dyeing situation: a watering can is only a useful tool in theory.

day 101.

2009-04-07T23:53:00.004-04:00

(which is actually today - the centennial was monday, but as usual i'm running behind schedule). i was reading recently, i think on the Times website, a call for readers to submit snapshots of the recession - sale signs in windows, boarded up stores, etc.

as i was cleaning up the kitchen earlier, tossing some recyclables in their proper can, it hit me that i should be submitting a photo of our recycling pail --

it used to be filled with empty alcohol bottles...and now?

cans and cans of beans!

skip a few...day 100.

2009-04-07T10:30:00.003-04:00

well, we made it - 100 days of unemployment. not quite as fancy-sounding as 100 years of solitude, but somewhat similar. it wasn't the most exciting thing to celebrate, nor the most exciting celebration i've ever had, but hey, it's a milestone and dammit, if there's one thing i still do well it's commemorate occasions.

day 97.

2009-04-01T17:30:00.006-04:00

those are not rags - just my favorite pajama pants. my ABSOLUTE most favorite pajama pants, staple of and reason for the pajama preservation society*, that today developed an even larger hole than what they previously had. we might have even ventured out of hole and into crater territory. either way, it's tragic. why on earth i had to stretch my leg out of the covers this morning in such a fashion that i completely ripped away the right thigh portion of my pants is beyond me. this is what i get for spontaneous exercising!

*i have been meaning to write about the Pajama Preservation Society for months - yes, seriously, months. from back when i used to write actual posts, and not crap out of my loveandcyanide-ly duties with my 'photojournalism' project. i even had the draft of it saved on my work email at my old job (a job so fascinating i instead thought about preserving my pajamas during it) and we all know how long it's been since then - now. i don't know what kept preventing me from doing it - i think i had decided that words couldn't do it justice. they still can't, especially not after the tragedy that befell one of the society members today, but i'll finally attempt it.

in any event. the PPS is a select community of nighttime clothes** that i've owned for over a decade (some might say gross, i say "worn in to the point that it's like sleeping in clouds. frosting. the bosom of an angel.") that one day i decided were so ridiculously comfortable and perfect that i wouldn't be able to go on if i couldn't sleep in them anymore, and therefore i had to preserve them. while i'm sure the proper method of preserving something involves stowing it away in a glass box or jar, my method involves making up a stupidly fun-to-say society name and wearing the items no more than twice a month, thereby experiencing less wear&tear and less trips to the washing machine. i hope someday i put as much caring and thought into my own health as i do the health of my pajamas.

**current PPS members:

aforementioned (and pictured) maroon/purple/navy checkered pajama pants - american eagle men's pj pants circa 1998, size XL. goodness knows how big these things were when i actually first got them since they are humongous on me now (and, erm, i was a wee bit smaller when i was 18). but that's just one of the reasons why they are the most comfortable pants on earth to sleep in. they now possess a giant hole in the middle/bottom/along the right leg, something i was desperately trying to prevent from happening when i started the society. at this point i'm guessing my only options for keeping them in my life for another 10 years are: a. a major sewing session or b. never wearing them in public. on the plus side for b., i imagine i'll no longer have to listen to complaints from guys about my adoration for sleep pants that are 'unsexy'. unsexy indeed! these might now be the sexiest men's pajama pants in history.
gray patterned pajama pants - nautica sleepwear XL men's pajama pants circa 1998 (i know - you sense a trend here. clearly i love wearing giant pants to bed, and my freshman year of college was filled with fortuitous shopping trips for them. yes, and yes.). more cottony and traditional "pajama" material than pair 1, and they make you feel like your bottom half is swathed in a giant jersey knit sheet. while in no danger of holes at the moment, the elastic on the too-big-to-begin-with pants is going, making these a poor choice of pants to run a race in. but other than that, they are perfect.
blue Edwin Markham Intermediate School t-shirt - as though i haven't seemed dirty enough already with my decade-old, giant holey men's pants, the final member of the PPS is none other than my sixth grade gym shirt. faded blue, short-sleeved, emblazoned with a trojan head and the words I.S. 51 Spartans (sadly, this is practically the best of all my school mascots. i went from a spartan, to a seagull, to a ram. laugh it up.), circa 1992. before you run off in horror, just let me explain that in junior high my friends and i came up with the genius idea that we'd wear our required gym uniform (blue spartan shirt and sweatpants) OVER our clothes so we wouldn't have to bother changing. i vividly remember having the tshirt over a turtleneck and giant sweatpants over my jeans, basically waddling out of the locker room. for whatever reasons, the gym teachers allowed this stupid little trick for awhile, so technically i never really did the whole '"sweating" thing in the shirt. and it was impossible for me to sweat in gym anyways back then since we barely did any legitimate 'gym' things, given the fact that we were too preoccupied with a. watching the boys, b. hoping the boys would notice us lounging about the gym daintily not playing sports, and c. not ruining our bangs, which in the early 90's you know we spent HOURS on teasing every morning. so it wasn't a gross gym shirt to begin with, and now after 2,000,000,000 washings, all it can possibly (gloriously) smell of is Tide and comfort.

day 96.

2009-03-31T17:59:00.003-04:00

"sometimes, even the east river can look pretty" was going to be my comment for the day. but then after coming home and actually looking at the photos i took this afternoon, i realized that maybe it wasn't so much that the river looked nice, but probably just the fact that i was basking in the sun eating ice cream as i was looking at it.

day 95.

2009-03-30T14:56:00.003-04:00

i've been called 'sassy' a few times before, so i wonder what exactly it is about this lettuce that makes it so sassy.

******

in a side note regarding the supermarket, my latest gripe is that the cashiers, or at least the cashiers at our local key food, just don't understand the concept of reusable bags. i don't carry my own bag because i want to bag my own groceries. i carry them because they hold more and are easier to manage, lugging everything home on my shoulder, than in my hands in a pile of small bags.and of course for unselfish reasons, they are good for the environment.

so i find it rather unfair that the minute i pull out my bags and put them on the counter, the cashier automatically thinks his/her job is done and they don't have to bag up my items while i pay for them, and instead they turn and chat with their buddy at the next register. or just stare into space, as the woman did earlier today. when i refuse your plastic bags, i am not absolving you from bagging my purchases.

ugh, lazy people.

day 94.

2009-03-27T18:21:00.003-04:00

one thing i definitely did not expect to find in the park today was a knitted squid.

at least, i think this is a squid. he was hanging out on the bench to the left of mine the entire time i was in the park this afternoon. interestingly, he didn't receive too many strange glances as people walked by.

however i did, once i decided to have a photo shoot with him.

day 93.

2009-03-26T23:50:00.002-04:00

i explored the neighborhood of Forest Hills today, something i've been meaning to do for awhile now. it was a bit of a damper that we did this on the one day this week that it rained, but the area was still super cute and i got awesome mexican for lunch and got to hang out with an extremely friendly cat named Boo, so all-in-all it was a rather nice day.

day 92.

2009-03-25T23:51:00.003-04:00

today i discovered the series THS Investigates - specifically, the episode entitled THS Investigates: Dating Nightmares. a 2-hour in-depth, investigative report on the 'pitfalls' of dating - you know, internet predators, stalkers, abusers, people who will knowingly transmit communicable diseases to others. really joyous stuff.

while at first mocking it to missy when i saw it on our channel guide, i of course then got suckered into the drama. pretty compelling stuff, although i suppose i wasn't taking away the proper life lessons i was supposed to...since i fell asleep halfway through it. thank goodness i'm not a 14-year-old with a penchant for chat rooms!

day 91.

2009-03-24T17:17:00.003-04:00

i spent this afternoon baking muffins - pumpkin carrot muffins - which are "loaded with antioxidants" and supposedly a good boost for the immune system. i despise carrots, so i hope that by disguising them in a baked good, i can gain the nutritional benefits without that gross carrot taste. lord knows my immune system needs a boost. it needs a giant explosion, really, but we'll just start with the carrots and see how things go.

day 89, 90.

2009-03-24T17:07:00.003-04:00

sick - AGAIN - and unable to handle regular posting duties. sigh.

thank goodness that tall bottle contains codeine - opiates make everything more tolerable.

day 88.

2009-03-19T18:31:00.003-04:00

we're getting dangerously close to day 100, aren't we? i'm thinking i should throw a party or something.

but i digress. so this interesting little vehicle appeared next to me on the highway earlier today. the picture doesn't do it justice, but it was about the size of a bumper car and had an unfamiliar license plate.

so curious.

day 87.

2009-03-18T18:16:00.003-04:00

probably the most hilarious thing i've come across in awhile:

(and no, i wasn't the person asking that question. nor searching for the answer to it.)

day 86.

2009-03-18T18:04:00.004-04:00

one benefit to unemployment: being able to be one of the first patrons at the bar on St. Patrick's Day, thereby receiving free promotional Guinness t-shirts.

whoohoo.

day 85.

2009-03-16T19:40:00.003-04:00

in my ongoing quest to develop some sort of immunity to scary things - horror movies, haunted houses, my parents' basement - i forced myself to watch something from the scary movie genre last night (this morning). by immunity i mean the ability to go into the haunted mansion at disney world without my heart rate rising - i figure if i pepper in a frightening flick here and there, at some point in my 30's i can probably manage to partake in outings to the latest thriller release/sit in an empty house without fretting about what may emerge from the closet/attic/any other dark room. i love doing behavioral therapy on myself.

last night's flick was The Funhouse, an early 80's romp through a creepy small-town carnival.

considering i watched it in the dark AND was able to fall asleep about 10 minutes after it was over, i imagine on the 'scary scale' this movie falls in the realm of kittens and unicorns.

baby steps.

day 84.

2009-03-16T19:38:00.003-04:00

no words for friday.

well, i do have some, but none of them are nice.

day 83.

2009-03-12T17:47:00.003-04:00

it's been a day of firsts in the kitchen...

hard-boiling eggs...

and mixing up mango mojitos.

have no fear - the above were not consumed together. we're gluttonous but not that gross.

day 82.

2009-03-11T23:32:00.002-04:00

one of loveandcyanide's most favorite beverages on earth is pizzeria fruit punch.

pizzeria fruit punch is so much more than regular old fruit punch - which is why we insist on referring to it as 'pizzeria fruit punch' - it's insane. as much as i like kool-aid and all of its ilk, none of them can compare to PFP. whenever missy and i find ourselves in a classic pizza place that has one of those little punch machines behind the counter, we glance at each other, gleefully, and then order up a cup to drink while we're waiting for our food. seriously, it's like the nectar of the gods. i don't know if it's because it brings back fond childhood memories - we did grow up in brooklyn. and old-school brooklyn, not the "brooklyn" of today. so i do have probably more fond memories than most of pizza institutions - or because it's such a nice, vibrant shade of red, or just the perfect mix of sugar and fake fruit flavoring, but it's marvelous. and magical. and can make any day better.

day 81.

2009-03-10T18:00:00.003-04:00

it's thrilling to be able to sleep with the windows open the past few days. without freezing, i mean.

now if only the sun would come out i'd finally have some decent 'play in the park whilst everyone else has to work' weather.

day 80.

2009-03-10T17:52:00.003-04:00

i found my latest edible obsession...

PINEAPPLE LUMPS!!!

i was initially a little afraid of them as well, but they have the consistency of a Now and Later, just covered in chocolate. chocolate-y, pineapple-y goodness.

i so wish these were a gift from a local candy store and not from a friend who just returned from New Zealand. i need to figure out how to find these precious little gems without flying to the other side of the world.

day 79.

2009-03-07T02:43:00.004-05:00

early birthday presents...

surprise birthday flowers...

a kiwi hand puppet, and a copy of stepbrothers.

i have the best friends EVER.

day 78.

2009-03-06T00:36:00.003-05:00

brooklyn, as seen through an excessively dirty ferry window.

day 77.

2009-03-05T23:39:00.005-05:00

i spent part of my afternoon today (well, yesterday. i'm constantly behind now with this little project of mine....i blame it on my lack of a camera on my phone) at the good old Department of Motor Vehicles, renewing my license.

i am quite sad - i'm pretty certain entirely too sad, considering this is just a laminated ID card - to see the old one go. its been through a lot with me during these past ten years. and it seems totally insane that it was ready to expire already - i can remember sitting there, at the age of 19, carefree and tan*, thinking to myself, "ew, i'm going to be TWENTY NINE the next time i have to get a new one of these**". and here i am, at the brink of 2-9, with my cruddy old license expiring. where do the decades go.

*i was wise enough back then to take my license photo AFTER i came home from spring break, in the attempts of having color in my face so i wouldn't look like a ghost on my ID. no such luck this time around.

**i suppose quite similar to me now, noticing that my new card will expire in '17, proclaiming "ugh, i am going to be THIRTY SEVEN".

day 76.

2009-03-03T21:52:00.005-05:00

from the found objects file -- i came across this little doodle in the bag i was carrying today.

given the bag is missy's, i would assume that it's hers. but she's not one to draw vehicles.

curious.

********

i am currently obsessing over this new mcdonald's commercial. the first time i saw it last night - perhaps it's been on for awhile, but i rarely watch tv in "real time", so i don't catch many commercials - i hooted aloud with laughter. really, hooted. i've never done that before.

day 75.

2009-03-02T15:42:00.002-05:00

snow day. i can't fully enjoy the fluffy white stuff since i was already moving into spring mode, and needing to put the boots back on just ruined it for me.

day 74.

2009-03-01T15:03:00.003-05:00

SWOOOOOOOOONNN! it took me entirely too long to have one of these. totally worth the wait.

day 73.

2009-02-26T22:36:00.004-05:00

today i found myself riding in a limo in Naperville, IL.

no, i was not kidnapped.

neon, car bar, and a very rainy illinois in the background.

see? i promised i'd eventually get around to doing something more interesting than laundry and shoe shopping.

day 72.

2009-02-26T22:31:00.004-05:00

the whole loveandcyanide team is sick with some sort of rabid flu-like virus.

no one wants to see pictures of that.

day 71.

2009-02-24T09:46:00.006-05:00

backstory 1: missy and i developed an affection for the del rubio triplets from our frequent watching of pee-wee's christmas special. old ladies - sisters, no less - singing a christmas carol in glittery red bodysuits and snow booties is right up our ridiculous alley.

interesting tidbit: a year or two ago, we received a wonderful surprise when the del rubio triplets friend requested me on myspace. (apparently missy had commented about them at one point on my page, so i must have turned up as a potential fan if their people did a search.) serious, serious joy abounded over here that day.

******

backstory 2: since childhood, missy and i have been obsessed with the pointer sisters' (see a trend here?) song "Neutron Dance". it's even on our 'happy cd'.

interesting tidbit: while our love of the song clearly has to do with its infectious rhythm and inclusion of "whoo hoo's", we think it's magnified by the fact that we both vividly remember some disney video where daisy duck danced around, shaking her little tail feathers, to it. clearly seeing one of our favorite cartoon characters dancing around to a song that we loved elevated the tune to magnificent status in our books forevermore.

******

sometimes i think it's amazing how the universe works, and how atypical circumstances just bring about a most perfect moment. like this morning, when missy stayed home sick from work, and flipped on the golden girls, a show i would have never ever put on, and there were the del rubio triplets, performing the "neutron dance".

day 70.

2009-02-24T09:40:00.003-05:00

the hanger lies.

i spent a good few minutes of my day quibbling with ms. laundromat proprietor about the length of a sweater. i lost the battle, and was charged the price for a dress. really lady?? it's a cardigan - if i wore it as a dress i'd be arrested for indecent exposure!

day 69.

2009-02-20T15:07:00.003-05:00

new shoes!

in my typical goldilocks fashion, lately i've run up against the fact that although there are at least 10 pairs of black heels in my apartment they are all either too high, too low, too casual, too fancy, too summery, too shiny, too round-toed, too pointy, too something to perfectly complete my preferred interviewing look. not that i honestly believe that i haven't gotten a job yet because an interviewer didn't like my footwear.

but i do lose sleep over such things. this pair should remedy that.

day 68.

2009-02-19T22:26:00.002-05:00

ummmm, this has nothing really do with my day other than the fact i obsessed over it for hours.

i need a tawny frogmouth chick, pronto.

day 67.

2009-02-18T23:38:00.005-05:00

even more exciting than eating lucky charms was coming across a gatorade bottle that expires on my birthday*.

*you may have to zoom in to catch the "mar 08 09". but i swear it is there.

day 66.

2009-02-17T15:59:00.003-05:00

i haven't had lucky charms in years - but they completely made my morning. possibly even my week.

although inspecting the current marshmallow selection made me feel old - i remember the commercials/jingles for the "new" horseshoes and balloons - and slightly nostalgic for the sugary selection of yore. why did they change the star and the clover?! and the new yellow 'magic hourglass' leaves something to be desired as well...

holiday greetings.

2009-02-14T00:21:00.004-05:00

happy ferris wheel day, readers! this article was sent to me the other day as an early ferris wheel day present, so i figured i should share being it's the only holiday-appropriate bit i have this year. i'm all tapped out of heartwarmingly weird holiday stories after last year's post. shocking, i know - everyone should have a cache of ferris wheel stories.

******

but i had promised last year that i would top that post this year, and given ferris wheel day 2008 was nothing short of tragic, i'm going to have to veer from the holiday a little, although still keeping it in the spirit of the season. so for 2009's sole matters-of-the-heart piece* i'm going to discuss an interesting phenomenon that's been taking place over the last few years....

guys i date marry the next girl they date after me. not all of them, but enough, thus far, during my post-college years, to become apparent. and although i know i'm not the only female - or person, really - on earth to experience this, out of all my close female friends, i am the only one to experience this. and experience it over and over again. and they all kind of look at me, mouths agape, whenever i've brought this up, so that puts it into "rare territory" in my book.

i've been trying to come up with a proper term for this affliction/superpower but still haven't found anything i like, nor read anything i liked from articles/other women who suffer from this. maybe 'penultimate girlfriend syndrome', but i feel like that phrase leans towards the negative, and in some cases - and so far, all of my cases - being the PG is most definitely not a negative thing.

but for brevity's sake, we'll call it PGS for now. so i've suffered from PGS since 2002, although i wasn't aware of it back then. but since then, three guys that i dated married the girl they dated immediately after me. all are still married, ranging from about 2-5 years of wedded bliss at this point. guy #1 even has two children.

a fourth has been dating someone seriously for the past few years after me. another is also in a serious relationship, and he's the settling down sort and a little older, so i wouldn't be surprised if they become ~~victims~~ numbers 4 and 5.

a sixth entered into a relationship about a month after professing his love for me this past summer. i'll be shocked if he doesn't stay with this girl, putting him on the list as well.

so that's three actual marrieds, three on the cusp. there's actually only two guys that - well, as far as i know, so there is margin for error here, but i'm pretty sure i'd know about it - have not started a serious relationship right after dating me.

so i've been told in the past that i should capitalize on my PGS and start some sort of backwards dating service for guys who really want to get married - they date me so then they can find the woman of their dreams afterwards. (before you think i'm dissing myself here, i realized that my PGS comes into play, at least so far, only in cases where i ended things. the men who've broken up with me are, for the most part, still running loose. this enables me to find humor in the whole situation, as opposed to sending me running into therapy). i imagine i could use the endorsements of the three who are not only married, but happily married for a decent amount of time already, in my marketing paraphernalia. alternatively, one of my female friends suggested another creative method of profiting off of this gift of mine -- she would set me up with guys that she likes, that way when i'm done with them they will be ready to run down the aisle with her. clever.

considering my current state of affairs, now is probably the time to attempt my abnormal dating service, although i worry that trying to use my PGS for specific means is tampering with the universe. but i am kind of curious to see if i can actually manipulate this innate talent i have of sending men fleeing from bachelorhood into a career.

*i realized in creating these 2/14 posts that it is just so much easier to write about these sorts of matters, but i just can't bring myself to be one of those girls with a public dating diary. not to mention the content would scare away all our readers. if morbidly curious, someday you will find them in my essay collection - working title is "love stories for the dark humorist".

day 65.

2009-02-13T17:41:00.003-05:00

i spent most of this afternoon in astoria park - thankfully we're having an unseasonably warm week. however, it's not SO warm that plant life is already in bloom - more stock photography here. i am very much regretting my decision to get a camera-less phone, as i consistently forget to bring my camera around with me during the day. photojournalism is not my forte.

day 64.

2009-02-12T17:16:00.002-05:00

finally finished this book today, including the final chapters on bedbugs and mites, which clearly means i'm not sleeping well tonight. i know, you ask, as did others who saw this on my reading list, "why would someone as preoccupied with bedbugs as you are want to read this book?" i don't know - i'm morbidly curious. but the book was, as predicted, disturbingly interesting and totally worth the hour i'll spend later inspecting my mattress and bedspring for unwanted guests.

day 63.

2009-02-11T23:25:00.004-05:00

this somehow represents the day.

day 62.

2009-02-11T11:38:00.003-05:00

these boots were NOT made for walking (3.7 miles around manhattan). i imagine today's visual snippet will include a pair of crutches.

in related news, well, related to day 60, in between a lunch with a fellow unemployed (my first jobless acquaintance in my industry. yay, commiseration!) and a rowdy reunion dinner with cousins i dropped a netflix in a random mailbox in soho.

and yes, again, this morning i awoke to a notification that the disc was already received. insanity.

day 61.

2009-02-11T11:33:00.002-05:00

it never fails that i am sick in early february. this is, no joke, my third box of tissues of the day.

day 60/going postal.

2009-02-06T17:15:00.005-05:00

yes, another stock photograph. i apologize - i was whipping out my camera when suddenly it hit me that photographing a mailbox might be a federal offense. or maybe it's taking pictures of someone's mail. or the mailman. or just tampering with mail.

either way, i have enough problems right now without being incarcerated. so why is a mailbox a symbol of my friday? well, the story begins last week...

during a jaunt around manhattan, i tossed a netflix in a random upper west side mailbox. the next morning i had a notification from netflix that they had received the disc. really? in less than 18 hours the mail was picked up from the mailbox, processed, shipped out AND already received by the recipient? well, i was amazed. and a little disconcerted. unless this was just a special magical mailbox...are us outer-boroughers getting shafted by the post office? is manhattan mail moved more quickly? the netflix facility is in queens - so is my apartment - so shouldn't the movies i mail from my local mailbox get there faster than this one did? i spent hours pondering this, and for the first time ever realized there might actually be something that would get me to move into the only borough i've never lived in. who would've thought it would be a stupid blue metal box.

in any event, i've been on a mailbox crusade ever since, and having an important letter to mail today* decided i wouldn't drop it in my local mailbox on the way to the train, but would instead mail it once i got into manhattan. worrying that there wouldn't be a mailbox along my route this morning - since i find you can never find a mailbox when you really need one - i wondered if there was someplace where you can look up mailbox locations.

and there is. and you can even find out pick-up times! and i swear it's my new favorite website. missy refused to partake in my joy over this last night, but hopefully you all will.

enjoy.

*i know. you ask, who even mails stuff anymore**? why do you have so much interaction with mailboxes, chrissy? join the computer age!

**a frequent stop-off when driving with my parents is the post office, to drop off mail via the drive-through boxes. probably 50% of all car trips involve a stop there. i kid you not - i wouldn't be surprised if there was a photo of our car hanging inside the building next to the flag. our family is postal for the post office.

want. want. want. want.

2009-02-05T20:11:00.002-05:00

hamburger bed.

if you replace that green lettuce sheet with a bacon blanket, it would be perfect. i'd have the most amazing dreams!

day 59.

2009-02-05T17:03:00.005-05:00

today i spent an eternity on the phone with citibank attempting to get my credit card's interest rate back to its original rate after they jacked it up for absolutely no reason at all. actually i'm lying - there was a reason, as the customer service representative so kindly told me - they were raising everyone's rates because they were hit hard in our current economic climate.

oh really?? no kidding. ME TOO. but you don't see me paying $400 million to have my name put on a stadium now, do you?

but i can only be so bitter since i was somewhat victorious in my battle with the big bad bank.

**that is neither me nor bear in that photo. you try image-googling the word exhausted - slim pickings.

to dye for.

2009-02-04T18:50:00.004-05:00

missy and i* decided to dye each other's hair last night - considering we're both using dark colors and have a mostly white bathroom, this could have been a recipe for disaster. but we managed to make it through the evening relatively unscathed, although we did ruin three towels and two t-shirts, and i wouldn't be surprised if our downstairs neighbor's ceiling started leaking from the amount of water that landed outside the tub during the rinsing portion of the evening.

the fact that her hair is all the same color, i don't have dye stains all over my neck, and the worst name one of us called the other was "motherf---ing goldilocks"** proves that we've matured vastly since the last time we attempted simultaneous dying, after which we were eternally banned from ever sticking our dye-covered heads in our parent's kitchen sink.

*bear also got in on the action. he put up pics over at bearsociety.

**in my defense, the water she was dumping over my head really was too hot or too cold.

day 58.

2009-02-04T18:45:00.004-05:00

taken at 5:11pm today, which i found thrilling. spring is on its way back again.

day fifTEA seven.

2009-02-03T15:13:00.005-05:00

snow, unexpected presents, and...a mystery! it's a banner tuesday over here.

*****

a package was delivered outside our apartment earlier today, and while i was under the assumption it was some dorky book missy had ordered, instead i opened the door and found a most exciting surprise - a box full of mighty leaf teas!

as the package slip only contained recipient information, we have no idea who this lovely gift is from. we're assuming our aunt or our mother, but until we get a hold of either of them we'll pretend we have some sort of mind-reading admirer who knew that this morning when i looked in the cupboard to pick out which flavor of tea i wanted i had commented to myself that our variety was dwindling. and now it isn't. tea-riffic*!

*i really enjoy tea puns.

day 56.

2009-02-02T16:40:00.002-05:00

is there anything more daunting than a pile of freshly-washed-but-need-to-be-matched socks?

day 55.

2009-01-30T14:51:00.005-05:00

that's my bed.

the big X over it illustrates my inability to sleep this morning due to the massive construction they started in the store-type-thing at the bottom of my building. they must have had some mutant jackhammer in there - the way my wall was vibrating i was certain the building was going to implode.

happy 3rd birthday, love&cyanide.

2009-01-30T12:25:00.013-05:00

today is a big day here at love & cyanide as it is officially our 3rd birthday. as per usual there will be cake and carebears (see below) and a new form of celebration, a blog launch!

but, first things first.. gratuitous picture of us being uber-cute and celebrating a 3rd birthday of yesteryear:

and now for the important but equally as adorable part.. in honor of our third year here on the internet we are hosting the official launch of bear's pet project.

we introduce you, dear and loyal readers, to bearsociety.

extras.

2009-01-29T19:41:00.005-05:00

we're adding in a new little feature - not the side project i mentioned earlier in the week, that's another addition, whoa-ho! look at us - a daily visual documenting my unemployment activities. people constantly ask me what i do all day/week, and i constantly feel lame rattling off my to-do/have-done list, and so now i can direct them here to see a little snippet of my day. i have no idea why this project didn't occur to me until earlier today, and i so wish i had been doing this from day 1 - although i suppose i had other things on my mind on day 1 other than photojournalism - but there's no time like the present, so we're starting on day 54*. like the studio! although slightly less glittery and fabulous.

have no fear, we'll still continue with our normal postings, just pepper a daily snapshot in as well. and away we go.

*we only count weekdays. isn't everyone technically out of work on the weekends?

day 54.

2009-01-29T19:03:00.008-05:00

i spent much of the latter part of this afternoon in central park - considering it was icy/slushy/32 degrees today you may wonder why i chose that activity, but i wasn't the only crazy one. the park was packed. i roamed the entire west side of it, from the south tip to the north tip - that was a first.

by the numbers:
- i walked 50 blocks
- saw 22 dogs (until i tired of counting them)
- listened to the beatles' "dear prudence" 9 times
- almost slipped on ice 3 times
- and saw 0 hotdog vendors (shocking)

porcine joy.

2009-01-28T23:39:00.002-05:00

swoon.

that made my week.

and the day someone makes one for me, it will make my life.

brusha, brusha, brusha.

2009-01-28T00:01:00.003-05:00

this evening i had to pop into duane reade on my way to the gym. as i was turning the corner to enter the store, i noticed a slightly disheveled-looking man ambling towards the entrance as well. as i'm the polite sort, i held the door open for him. he shuffled closer, looking slightly confused - up close i realized his eyes were somewhat glazed over and he looked rather worse for wear, but really who am i to judge? he could very well be a fellow unemployed - and he waddled into the store behind me. i went off to the dental care aisle to purchase a toothbrush (more to come), and promptly forgot all about him.

as i walked back up to the front of the store a few minutes later, i noticed disheveled man being hauled across the register area by the manager, who was announcing that this was the "last time [he] would be taking something from this store" and that the "police were on the way."

i feel vaguely responsible for this shoplifting incident. i should have just left disheveled man outside near the bus stop, where he probably belonged.

******

have any of you dear readers purchased a toothbrush lately? did you find it a completely overwhelming experience?

ok, maybe i'm exaggerating a tad. but the truth is, as silly as this may sound, i rarely buy my own toothbrushes. i see the dentist twice a year, and receive a new brush with every visit. i also am blessed with wonderful parents who live relatively near and keep their linen closet stocked with excess toiletry items - one being the family pack of toothbrushes from Costco - and so we steal them from their house whenever we are in need. there is usually always an extra toothbrush accessible to me, and so i never find myself in the drugstore attempting to purchase one.

until this evening. as luck would have it, i managed to drop my toothbrush in the garbage last night, during a time when there were no surplus brushes in our apartment. as i'm in my new 'being economical' phase, i spent a good three minutes staring into the garbage, wondering how filthy it would be of me to retrieve the thing. i decided very, and let it go.

so as i stood in front of the toothbrush section this evening, i couldn't get over the choices - there had to be at least 100 different toothbrushes. there were new brands i had never even heard of. rocawear makes a toothbrush? i wouldn't be surprised now.

a duane reade worker happened to be stocking the bottom row of brushes, and looked up at me as i hovered behind him. after about a minute, he inquired if i needed any help. i sheepishly explained that i was just trying to figure out which one i wanted. he politely offered to move out of the way so he wouldn't block the bottom rows. as he moved over to stand beside me, i panicked - now i had an actual audience waiting for me to make my decision - so i snatched the nearest blue-green one (my teeth like calming colors), thanked him for being so patient, and ran up to the register (where i was confronted with the disheveled man debacle).

thankfully after all that i picked a winner - the new toothbrush is pretty intense and puts those piddly free ones from the dentist to shame. i seriously feel like my teeth were just cleaned by car wash brushes.

loafing about.

2009-01-26T00:15:00.006-05:00

we're a little behind, but apparently last friday, 1/23, was National Pie Day. never ones to forgo a delectable food holiday, we're going to belatedly celebrate, and wish you all a happy happy. while i'm pretty sure this holiday was made to celebrate all pies apple and cherry, we're going to focus our festivities on the savory pie variety - meat in a buttery baked crust...can it get any better than that?

-------

so speaking of meats, i made my first meatloaf last week; my first foray into the hardcore meat-cooking realm*. it came out rather tasty, albeit it didn't look as perfectly loaf-shaped as i had hoped/expected. i spent a good amount of time shaping the ground beef mixture into a beautiful oblong shape, and then came time for me to flip it over, shortly into its 1+ hour stint in my oven.

have you ever tried flipping a 2 lb. meatloaf? it's not as simple as you might think. according to my consultant (er, my mother), i needed a fork and a spatula. two spatulas, a fork, a spoon, and a fervent wish for an extra arm later, i managed to get the hunk of beef to flip over...however, not before losing the tail end of it (which i later smoothed back on with a butter knife) and viciously burning my wrist. cursing and tears ensued.

in an interesting but fitting twist, the little burn mark i currently have left is shaped somewhat like a heart. considering my love of the meatloaf, i kind of hope this little meat-y memento will stay branded onto my wrist for awhile.

------

we know we've been slacking a bit in content lately - times have been a little tough and the posting isn't coming so easy when we're feeling so bleh. but we appreciate you dear readers who still stick by us. we're also working on a little side project which will debut later on this week for our big three year anniversary. THREE YEARS!!! we can't believe we've made it either.

*i know - meatloaf is only hardcore to the writer of this post. i am very well aware that it is considered a rather simplistic, almost laughable meal to most others - but to a relative dinner-making novice like myself, one who loves meatloaf more than will ferrell in wedding crashers does, this was like cooking a king's last feast.

calm down, little man.

2009-01-21T13:23:00.002-05:00

one day last week when missy and i were at the gym there was a minor holdup with accessing the locker room as a male worker had to go in there with a lock cutter and open some girl's lock, so no women could be in there. it became a long to-do over nothing. finally as we were being held outside with a few others, this twerpy little guy who looked like he was in high school appeared, assuring us that he was a manager and he would allow us into the locker room. he did this all with a booming voice and a flourish of hands, i suppose to prove how 'in charge' he was. we laughed about his napoleon complex later on.

little did we know.

so yesterday afternoon i was working out in a pretty empty gym, as you might imagine it would be during the weekday. at most, there were about eight of us in there. 8 of us for about 150 machines. i was a good 40 ft. away from the nearest gym-goer, and had an entire row of ellipticals to myself. about halfway through my workout i took off the sweatshirt i had been wearing and placed it over the handlebar on the machine next to me. within minutes, napoleon appeared in front of my machine, motioning for me to remove my headphones.

he informed me that we were not allowed to place articles of clothes on the machines, as it was a hazard to other guests. i smiled politely and apologized, saying i would place the shirt over my own machine. he said no, this too was a hazard. i offered to place it off to the side, on the ledge against the wall. he said that extra articles of clothing were NOT allowed ANYWHERE on the gym floor and i MUST go put my sweatshirt in the locker room. i said fine, and he stalked off.

while annoyed at this pointless intrusion - had i not been sweatily bounding up and down in front of him the entire time i might have remembered to point out about how the previous night when the gym was crowded someone had their coat in front of their treadmill, or how people have towels the size of my shirt hanging off their bikes all the time, so then those must be hazardous, and how come they don't have this rule posted anywhere - i also got a nice chuckle out of how ridiculous the exchange must have looked. he was definitely about two feet shorter than me when i was up on the machine. scolded by smurf.

weekend movie awesomeness/awesome movie weekend.

2009-01-19T23:46:00.003-05:00

we had a busy, fun-filled long weekend this past one, but managed to sneak in a few movie viewings. all of which wound up blowing us away in their own special ways...as per the usual, our film suggestions do not entail you actually having to go to your local movie theater/spend a lot of money if perhaps you want to see them. how ~~out-dated~~ thoughtful we are!

man on wire - i've been wanting to see this one since it was out in theaters (shocking), and it was well worth the wait. it was an amazing little documentary. i felt the sort of inspiration that i think you're supposed to feel when you hear "i believe i can fly".

the bank job - from what i had read and heard about this one it seemed like many had chalked it up to being just another jason statham silly action flick (not that i think his action flicks are silly...the man is ridiculously hot, and starred in one of my most favorite movies of all time in which his character was named after my favorite meat of all time - he does no wrong in my book)...but it's not. it's actually a really really awesome heist film.

stepbrothers - we had no desire to see this one, until time warner cable started running a preview which involved a dive onto a bunkbed which then collapsed. as we are suckers for both pratfalls and bunkbeds, we decided to tune in. thank goodness we did - i haven't laughed so hard in ages (or days, at least). and beyond being hysterical, three words: copious dinosaur references! that automatically puts this movie on our beloved list.

ridiculous.

2009-01-14T22:28:00.004-05:00

i happened upon VH1's new reality show 'Tool Academy' this afternoon. as i was getting dressed in my room when it came on and didn't want to waste the time to come back into the living room and change the channel, i got to listen to some of the most ridiculous stuff i've ever heard on television (and we sometimes watch some pretty ridiculous television). not that i should even bother trying to analyze these shows anymore because they are solely created for the morons out there who want their 15 minutes of fame, and not guys like this don't exist, because i've definitely ran into some of them in staten island bars...but really, what girl wants to admit to the world that she is dating a tool? and what self-respecting man decides to stay on a show after he finds out that it isn't a competition for "mr. awesome" (um, yes, really) but instead a show built around what a jackass he is? and really, where is a relationship supposed to go after one party sends the other party to 'tool academy'? imagine those dinner conversations.

i know - most of those couples probably aren't even real. but still - it boggles my mind the depths of asinine slop that winds up on tv. i won't give it anymore ratings. i won't. i won't.

******

almost as insane, but way more lovable (and fun to say), are sparkleballs. i have no idea where i'd put one, but i am thinking i need a sparkleball in my life. maybe two.

relics.

2009-01-14T01:02:00.000-05:00

i've always been a picture person - it's rare that an event will happen and i won't have my camera around to document it. lately, with the holidays and whatnot, i've been snapping more pictures than usual, and so all i've been hearing is "you have to post the pics!". meaning on facebook. which is just so interesting how things have evolved that now that phrase has become the standard when discussing photo sharing (although i rather wish that it didn't, and so i still share all the photos via email, which is redundant, but more meaningful to me than just tagging everyone for the world to see).

and so the other day as i was posting up the latest reminders of recent good times, i looked over at my photo albums - of which i have an entire bookshelf (11 albums; 2 are empty awaiting the photos i have from Feb 2007 - present to stuff inside of them) of just ones from college and after, as anything pre-college is at our parents' house (i wasn't kidding when i said i am a picture person) - and wondered what is to become of them. it really wasn't so long ago that i was still eagerly waiting for my photos to be developed from CVS (always paying extra for one-hour service since i was just that impatient). then i was sending them around via photo-sharing websites, but still printing out copies for my albums. and now i'm nearly two years behind - goodness knows how many that means i need to print out. the limit for any outing used to be 24 pictures, since that was all we had room for on the roll - now i actually almost filled an entire album JUST with photos from my 26th birthday (granted it was a disco party, a glittery affair, which in our opinion warranted 100's of photos...but still). so i guess it's impossible for our leather-bound memory-keepers of finite space to keep up in the digital age, but i feel completely saddened at the thought of only looking at my photos on a computer for the rest of eternity. i'm thinking i'm not going to be able to do it - that connection you feel to a person/place/event when you're physically holding a photograph is something that i never want to give up.

******

so today is my two-month unemployment anniversary. which is crazy as i feel like it all just happened yesterday. on the flip side, part of me has completely forgotten what it is like to have an office to go to every weekday, and so i feel like it has to have been way longer than a mere eight weeks. but whether i’m in a moment where it feels fresh or forever doesn’t matter, it all still feels the same underneath...sucky.

all the content of my old office is still sitting in two shopping bags on my bedroom floor - which is so completely unlike me to have not wanted to put the stuff away yet, so i imagine it’s a psychological thing that i don’t care to unpack and organize the bags even though i’ll clean around them and under them – and it’s funny that i now sit here and look at them and wonder what the hell to do with all this crap anyway.

and for the past six years i never thought of the items in that manner – why, almost everything in those bags came with me from my first job to my last job because they were just that important – but now that i’ve become my own office (literally, as i caved and upgraded my phone to one with internet and email capabilities, and so as i continue on my somewhat nomadic not-tethered-to-a-desk-all-day existence i am able to conduct any and all business i may need to from a street corner), i really don’t know why i needed all that junk in the first place. the inspirational magnets? the plastic hippos? the stuffed cows? the mug from an ex that held pens that barely even work anymore? the ceramic dish of scented rocks?

what waste. i imagine i’ll be taking a minimalist approach to my future desk.

friday fuzziness.

2009-01-09T12:12:00.002-05:00

we happened upon the show I Was Bitten on the Discovery Channel the other night, and although it wasn't something for the squeamish (i.e., us) it was highly fascinating. some sort of venomous serpent bit this one guy right in the stomach, and the venom wound up making this giant hole right under his bellybutton. you could see in to his intestine! we watched, entranced, with our hands over our eyes.

***

so speaking of venomous animals, take a look at this little guy - ADORABLE. i want to write a children's book about him. and cuddle with him. and dress him up in a little bonnet or top hat, and show him off to my guests at a dinner party.

my esophagus would never be able to handle this.

2009-01-07T17:27:00.002-05:00

so i was at the gym last night - and this afternoon too. twice in 24 hours! i haven't done that since 1999 - and happened to catch a commercial for these. the visuals were so silly that i actually thought it was a joke at first, but no. it's not.

while i can completely see a benefit or two of a contraption like this, i also find it wildly disconcerting -- does this mean that corsets will be coming back? didn't my female ancestors spend hundreds of years breaking free of restraining upper-body garments, only for us to bring them back again? sigh.

the buzz.

2009-01-05T18:51:00.003-05:00

is it just us, or are honey nut cheerios everywhere lately?

i probably hadn't eaten them since i was about 12 (the ecto-cooler effect totally applied there), and then a few weeks back missy was told she needed to be concerned with her cholesterol and our pantry became stocked with it, and i must admit, i've been hooked again since first bite.

so now we're eating hnc's for breakfast every morning, and suddenly we start seeing a commercial for them almost nightly. and then we went away with friends, and what was the cereal chosen for the house - not by missy or i - you betcha, honey nut cheerios.

i know - this could just be one big coincidence, but i smell a trend. a natural almond scented trend.

***

so i went about researching hnc's to see if i found anything that would explain this current resurgence - i did not - but instead found directions to make a cheerios bea r. which, as far as the realm of food sculpture is concerned, is one of the cutest things i've seen in awhile. i hope family and friends feel the same way, since i'm thinking this will be my go-to gift for this year. happy birthday, have a cheerios bear!

and on to the next one.

2009-01-03T14:25:00.003-05:00

happy '09 everyone - we're back to civilization after being snowed in the mountains of PA for the past few days. while we had an awesome time, our first lesson learned this new year is that we are just not cut out for cold weather vacations. not in the least. thankfully our friends packed extra waterproof outerwear. we did, however, discover that we are pretty amazing snowman makers.

so we're a few days behind on the news, but in case you haven't seen this nifty little list yet - glorious. i don't quite know how i'm going to pull it off, but eventually i will get a group together for a new year's trip to watch a sausage drop and a marshmallow peep drop.

auld lang whine.

2008-12-29T01:05:00.005-05:00

this year we're heading out of town again to ring in the new year, so we'll do our requisite retrospective a few days early. as you might expect me to say, 08's been a pretty crap year, especially lately, and we're not too sad about waving goodbye to it. which is pretty ironic, considering my mantra last year at this time was 'eight is great' - and being that i'm born on the eighth, i have a good deal of egotistically-driven love for the number, and so went into it with all shades of wondrous expectations. too many, i suppose.

and while it wasn't all gloom and doom - there were, as always, a good number of amazing moments peppered throughout the past twelve months - i think i'll forever associate this past year with crying. i cried on subway platforms, and in cars, and on buses, and in banana republic, and key food, and port authority, and bars, and a restaurant, and all along 48th street; in three different states, and 4 out of the 5 boroughs.

***

and while this sounds nothing short of completely pathetic, one of the things i'm most proud of this year stems from this -- and that is that i never cried where it counted. during the most rotten moments of the year, a handful of them, i never lost my composure - they expected me to, and perhaps, in some instances, needed me to - but i held strong, and kept the despair fully in check until i was safely out of sight/earshot (random passersby be damned - i am pretty certain i horrified a good number of fellow new yorkers recently. apologies to all.) and i suppose this might be a dumb little victory to hang on to, but as i explained during a discussion i had about this last month, i feel in some small way that this was a major sign of growing up. at least for me, the sensitive gal who can tear up during gossip girl and californication (mind-boggling, i know). i somehow gained the poise to control the waterworks, and for that i am grateful.

which fits in with the fact that this year was probably my 'saturn return', an interesting phenomenon that dear reader hillary pointed out to me when i was contemplating what a big deal 28 was, at the time, surprisingly, turning out to be. and although in many respects this was a negative year, it was the most change-filled year i've had in quite awhile, and doing some things differently won't necessarily be a bad thing.

***

and finally, in completely falling apart i really became aware of the amazing support system i have. my girls - high school, college, and workplace ones - and my family have been so incredible i don't think i can ever properly put in to words how grateful i am for them all. at the risk of giving this post the honor of housing loveandcyanide's sappiest statement - but it will - i honestly am looking back right now not feeling at all bitter, but instead blessed.

alright, enough. considering this was started as a forum for 'high seas adventures' - a purportedly fun place on the internet - we sincerely thank you, you few dear readers, for standing by during these most dour times.

we truly hope that the new year brings about more happy and exciting adventures for us to document...and we wish the same for you all as well.

happy new year.

wrapping/wagon wrongdoing.

2008-12-27T23:34:00.004-05:00

from probably the moment i was able to properly wield a scissor, our father has had me play the role of his official present wrapper during the holiday season. by 'season', i mean the very last minute, the night before Christmas, i.e. Christmas Eve. when the feasting and family-ness and midnight mass are all done with, i gather my rolls of christmasy paper, father deposits his shopping bags of gifts for my mother in my room, and i wrap gifts for him through the wee hours of the morning*.

similar to my stint as a "first flute" in band class**, my title as official present wrapper was gained through false presumptions - in this case, my father thinking that as the eldest daughter i must wrap presents well. i don't. at all. i don't know why - i'm relatively creative and neat, and can do other things that someone would assume an expert-wrapper could do - but yet i can't manage to cover a box without ripped corners and conspicuous pieces of tape placed willy-nilly. and yet, year after year, bags of presents are deposited in my care for me to crappily wrap.

this year my mother got in on the act, and so i spent a good portion of my holiday badly wrapping gifts for every member of our family. while amusing myself with my horrific papered creations, i also wondered why there are so few technological advances when it comes to gift-wrapping? it's such an archaic system -- there's gotta be a better way.

------

in further news on the injustices front, a special request was made for us to blog*** about the following insanity:

travesty.

from the article: "outfitted with 5-point safety harnesses, padded seats, cup holders, foot brakes and fold-out storage containers...But that's just for starters...there's a digital handle that tracks temperature, time, distance and speed...And there's a slot for an MP3 player, complete with speakers, for some cruising tunes."

wtf. it's a wagon. someone pulls you in it down the block, you don't take road trips in it!

*no exaggeration here: i'm up all night, every christmas eve, wrapping gifts. last year i passed out drunk at 1am, napped for an hour, and THEN woke up and wrapped them. and it's not just me - most years our entire house is abuzz until at least 4am, solely with gift-wrapping. if there is one thing our family does quite well, it is procrastinate.

**in junior high school, i was a 'first flute', meaning i got to sit in the front row of the flute section, and play the more superior flute parts in the arrangements (arrangements like an aladdin medley - don't get too impressed). i am not at all being modest when i say this - i literally had no flute-playing ability. none. i could barely make noise come out of the thing, let alone the proper noise. i spent most of my band hours flirting with the trumpet section, gossiping, and wondering how gross the little stick that cleaned the inside of your flute could actually get.

so why, do you ask, did i get this glorified position within the school band? i truly don't know. it wasn't based on skill. my only reasoning is that it was because i shared a music stand with my friend mary, who was an amazing flute player. and sitting next to mary, and clearly being adept at feigning flute playing, was enough to make our band teacher assume that i too could play with the top-tier flutists in the class.

what this truly says about me i'd rather not know, but i'd like to believe this says something about my ability to look capable at all times, and so this 'first flute theory' has come into play a few times through the years, and most definitely applies to my holiday job.

***blog requests are quite rare, but they do completely make our day when they occur. thanks B!